Sex and smear

Hello everyone,

I had my first smear test today and if wasn't very good. I was in so much pain that the nurse thought it best not go through with it after two attempts. I told my mum and she asked if I had ever penatritive sex. I told her no and she said maybe that was why it was so painful. 

My (recent) girlfriend and I had sex, but whenever she used to go inside me with her fingers it would be uncomfortable and a bit sore, so when we had sex we would go down on each other and I would penetrate her because she didn't find it painful. I'm now wondering if because I've never had penatritive sex and never used tampons, could this be why it was so painful? 

Apologies for oversharing on some of the details. Admins, please feel free to censor if not appropriate. 

Thank you in advance for any advice, comments or stories, I appreciate it.

Hey, I’d like to be more reassuring but that doesn’t sound normal to me. Are you saying they decided not to do your smear at all? How old are you? There’s probably things other than cervical cancer that could cause issues like this, but I would definitely ask a medical professional about it.

Hi LittleP,

I just wanted to offer some support and reassurance. Some women do find smear tests more painful and difficult than others. It might be beneficial to book a GP appointment with someone you feel comfortable with to talk through the issues you have been having as there are things they could help you with. 

We have a blog on smear tests for lesbian, gay and bisexual women that you might find beneficial too:

With my best wishes,


Thank You for you support center! You are great!

Hi LittleP

I was in the same boat, smears were really painful (Failed twice due to extrusiating pain) and it was down to not having penetrative sex or tampons, which I wasn't going to have due to being a lesbian / no partners.

What I done was stretched myself out bit by bit until I was loose in a way that was safe and at my speed of progress. Find a relaxing time for yourself and trying 1 finger slowly, just get used to the sensation, eventually working up to 2 and then 3 until the sensation is bareable.

Today I went for my 3rd attempt at a smear (The nurse that done it was when I had my 2nd attempt so she was understanding) and through the tears from the fear they managed to successfully take a sample!

Wishing you all the best x