Sex! After treatment!

Hi guys haven’t been on here for ages!

Little update I’m now in a relationship! Eek! Exciting! He’s a friend that I’ve known for a long time and he knows all about what I’ve been through which is a relief and we’re together now!

I’m a little worried about when it comes down to business (making him wait 3 months - a rule I have) he’s very patient and is waiting for me to say but after all the treatment I never used my sticks (dialators) so I don’t know what it’s like down there and I’m worried! Is it too late to start now? Or would I be ok to try (sex) without them?? I don’t know! I haven’t used them because well they scare me! And also I had issues before with leaking and that so wasn’t the most convient thing to do!!!

Any advice is welcome xx

Hi Carmel and congratulations on your new relationship. You are a brave lady but we have to get on with life and relationships are a part of that. Not sure I am the best person to share, as I have found this to be a difficult area to pick back up! I did use my dilators as I wanted to know and understand what had been going on in there, before someone else found out! So personally I would try to use the smallest one just to see. Use lots of lube, and there are many different products out there to try. Apologies Carmel, but I can't remember exactly what treatment you have had, but know you have had shed loads of it. But if you have an appointment coming up soon, it might be an idea to ask their advice if you feel comfortable. Other than that, it has to be a slowly, slowly approach as neither of you know really what to expect. I don't want to teach a grandmother to suck eggs,!! but being on top gives you much more control, which I think you need after all the intervenations we have had. Whenever it happens, it will be very different from before, but it's worth persevering, and if he is a good guy then he should give you the time you need to make this huge adjustment. On the other hand you may just get back on your bike and have no problems at all, but better to be prepared I say! Take care Carmel and enjoy your man! Xx

Carmel This is delightful news. You are way too young to be a Nun. I hadn't used my dilator for months and months and when I did Lo and Behold fairly normal in size. You may surprise yourself too. I use the Ovestin cream with it that fills the joint with iestrogen makiing the skin inside more elastic and pliable. Haven't given it a test run yet though. One day maybe

So lovely to read your post Carmel and I wish you all the very best with your new relationship.

I use the dilators, but I can only get to size 2 and I’m too scared to try sex, maybe one day!


Hi Carmel Can I just say I read your other comment on Lindsayb I am pleased and amazed how you have recovered from all the affronts you've endured. You have remarkable resilience. It gives me courage. Jayne

Hi ladies,

ive tried with a toy and that was a no go and I've tried with the smallest and I can only do the tip! It was stinging slightly as I tried is this normal? I'm going to keep trying and if I don't have any luck I'll speak to my doctor about it - I'm worried that things might be a bit too tight down there now :-/.

and thank you Jayne it's been a journey I'll say that! Xx

I am so happy to read this! Amazing! Good luck!

Hi Carmel 

fantastic news on the new relationship :)) just wanted to say when I first had sex after treatment...sorry if this tmi...when my husband tried to put it in it stung so badly and felt so tight..I thought we'd never be able to have sex again!! But lots of patience and we got there...all be it inch by inch lol!! Only the last couple months has sex been more enjoyable...but keep at it with the dilators...hopefully they will do the trick!! good luck xxx

Woo! Congratulations for the new relationship! Sorry to join this particular party quite so late! Good luck with the rest of it! Hope it all pans out nicely, you deserve some fun!

Be lucky :-)