Hello ladies,
Just wondering how many of you are still able to have sex and how long it took after treatment.
I know im being impatient and i am trying to learn to have patience but im wonderimg if i will ever be able to have sex and enjoy it again.
Big love to you all xxx
Well, since posting this, i have had a clinic withy oncologist to see how things are going. I mentioned sex and he said to take it slow. Lol...i know... i need patience.
He told me to continue with the dialators as often as i can...he was surprised that id tried number 2 and he wasnt surprised i couldnt use it all as i have substantial scarring at the top of my v.
So patience patience patience... hmmm
I wish there was someone on here who"s at the other side of all this and happy with their sex life. Helloooooo lovely ladies....anyone?
Big love xxx
Hey Emma
I can't offer any advice because I haven't had my chemorad yet, but this is an issue I really want to know about for the future. So hopefully some experienced ladies will come on soon and offer their advice... laaaadies? Lol
Ps congrats on finishing your treatment!
Rosie xx
Hi Lovelies,
Its a sensitive topic but happy to share as I know what its like when your in this situation! (sorry if not very p.c but just trying to be real) - they kept scaring me half to death saying I needed to use the dialators or things might 'close up shop' down there etc and I was in so much pain I could't even attempt the dialators till 6 weeks after treatment had finished. I struggled with the dialators as they are cold and plastic not in the least bit sexy might I add! After two weeks of trying for an hour each night and getting no where could have been a mental block? I then went to Ann summers and got a vibrator to see if this would help - you have to laugh ladies - I was in the shop thinking 'how embarassing is this' and then my sister who is loud and gobby not the least bit shy gets the manager and tells her all about my situation and how its for my health and what the best vibrators she got! I was wishing the ground would swallow me up at this point.
Anyway I struggled even with the vibrators even after using the reccommended SYLK natural lubricant (get free on your NHS prescription) and so I thought well I trust my husband more than these plastic things! and so got a bottle of fizz (lots of alcohol does help!) and went straight for the sex. IT WORKED :) - go slow, yes its sore, gets better each time, after spreading it out 2-3 times a week to keep stretching things down there it worked there is HOPE ladies its amazing and you can do it! and if anyone single dont worry the vibrators will def be better than the dialator (as softer more fun). Hope this helps and also what really helped me was watching - on utube 'cervical cancer - so this is thirty?' - a lady who posted videos each week of her journey and theres one on dialators - watching her videos really helped me feel like I was not alone in this. x x x
Hi Beautiful and Rosie,
Thanks for responding. I know it's a sensitive subject so thank u so much.
I really really hate the dialators and just cant get on with them. Im going to try your way and get myself to Ann Summers & just keep trying with the hubster xxx
not a problem, takes time but worth it - good luck! :)
Hello
I am also very nervous about having sex with my husband after having internal radiotherapy.
Had my last treatment on the 13Th June .
I have been using the dialators but still very nervous.
xxx
Woo hoooooooo managing it!!! Lol!
It's not the same, & it's still a lil tender but we're getting there :) xxxxx
Oh so glad to hear Emma. Go you guys! I'm sure if you're "getting there" it will continue to get better.
Rosie xx
I haven't got personal experience of dialators but I went to the sex and intimacy workshop at lets meet last weekend and the speaker mentioned several retailers who specialised in products for ladies who needed dialators. I think one was ssh (a shop in London) but can't remember the others off hand (perhaps one of the Jos staff would be able to find out?) she passed round a couple of different vibrators which were thinner and softer than Ann summers type ones she said.
Just wanted to mention it in case it helped!
:)
Hi ladies,
I have just seen your post Mad_muskrat
In case it is helpful the following retailers were mentioned during the Sex and Initmacy workshop at Let's Meet - Sh!, Jo Divine and Pleasure Solutions.
Best wishes
Fran
Thank you. Have had radical hysterectomy but not brachy yet--scheduled to start about 6 weeks from now. Dr. (rad onco) did not answer my questions re this (avoided answering, actually, and failed to say that this was lifelong issue rather than just short term assoc with treatment--jerk!!). Have wondered if "toys" might not be better than dilators and if arousal prior to use helped.
