Second LLETZ I felt everything

I was really unsure wether to post this but I feel so upset and violated after my second LLETZ today. My first procedure went well. The Dr talked to me and spoke through each step as she did it. She also checked I was numb before starting.
I had CIN 3 without clear margins and one CGIN. So referred for second LLETZ.
Today a different Doctor at a different sister hospital did my second LLETZ procedure. He spoke to me before starting and seemed okay. He told me I’d feel cold gel and then inserted the speculum, so far so good. I was lying with my eyes closed as that’s how I cope best. Next thing I knew pain. He injected the anaesthetic with no warning. Usually they say sharp scratch but he said nothing. I grabbed the side of the bed but didn’t realise the nurses hand was there and I grabbed her. I apologised and she was very kind and said it was okay to hold her hand. I tried to relax thinking I have a few minutes for the local anaesthetic to work before he starts. I still had my eyes shut. The Doctor didn’t wait. He didn’t say anything either. He just started to procedure not checking I was numbed. I wasn’t I felt pain again. I gasped. I grabbed the side of the bed. I put my hand to my chest to slow my racing heart. The nurse asked if I could feel it. Yes! Yes I can! It continues. The Dr doesn’t say a word. I lie there eyes closed grasping the bed. The nurse places one hand on mine the other on my shoulder as I squirm with pain. Then without a word he starts to cauterise. I feel the burning. It hurts. Eventually the nurse says it over. I lie there eyes still closed in shock. Then suddenly my body and voice gasp again as without warning I’m cauterised again. Finally it’s over. He walks away. No apology, no explanation. I slowly get up still in shock. Get ready. Thank them. Leave.
I know it was wrong. I know I should have said something. I’ve been sexually assaulted in the past, I freeze. I know I should complain. I won’t. The nurses knew it was wrong. They would be questioned and it would put them in a very difficult position and if they were to say something they would advocate for me anyway. I wouldn’t need to put in a complaint. I already feel they won’t stand up for me. It’s too hard for them. Too risky for their jobs. I won’t complain. I’m in physical pain but mentally shaken. I’m not sure why I’m posting this. I’m in shock I think. I want a kind word. I want reassurance. I’m not okay.
Something also prompted me to ask to see how much was taken. The nurse showed me. It was a large large chunk. Not the size I’ve read about online. I feel very confused about what happened to me today. I feel unsafe if I have to go back and I feel scared.

1 Like

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That’s awful you really should go back to the doctors get it checked out firstly make sure it’s healing well. As much as you don’t want to cause a complaint you have too hun you’ve got to get answers as to why they did that. My experience with lletz was absolutely ok the doctor asked if I could feel anything she put my cervix (was not good looking at my internal bits!) on a screen so I could see exactly what she was doing the nurses sat by talked to me asked what I was doing after etc so you shouldn’t have experienced that at all love it’s horrible I hope you have the courage to speak up I no it’s hard but no one should ever experience pain for something that is out of your control

So sorry to hear that i had lletz under local onMonday and it was an awful experience too i could feel the treatment but the lady dr did stop and gave me more anesthetic injections.

Sorry to hear this, I had a similar experience on my second LLETZ. They said that due to having so much scar tissue from the previous one (7 weeks earlier) it was more difficult for the anaesthetic to work. However they kept stopping and starting, big hugs x