Hi all

Well I have my appointment with the consultant on Thurs to discuss the results of my scans and to discuss treatment. The closer it gets the more scared I am. I have to say I have surprised myself at how I've dealt with the news that I have CC. I still feel like it's not hit me properly. I've not cried as much as I thought I would. I don't feel as though im not dealing with this in a normal way. I am a very strong and stubborn person and I won't let this thing beat me but as strong as I am,I am petrified. I'm scared about the treatment and how it will affect me I'm also scared Incase things change between my boyfriend and I. I feel I owe him a lot as if it wasn't being with him I could have been sitting with CC a lot longer. I'm just having one of those days and I can't sleep so thought I'd come on here. 

Anyway thanks for listening.

Nicola x 

Nicola, hi,

everybody deals with such situations differently. Nobody here is going to judge you.

You say you are strong and determined, that is great as you can use this to help you get through the next few months .

If you are worried about how this will affect your relationship with your boyfriend, get him to join you on Thursday. Hopefully by being there with you he can get a better understanding of what is to come. if he can't come with you then sit down together that evening and tell him exactly what happened that day and what the treatment plan is. By talking through this it will also help you prepare for treatment.

I would say don't start worrying about too many things at once. your priority right now is to get yourself ready for treatment and for getting rid of this cancer. One step,at a time and you will get there.

Come Thursday you will have a clearer picture of what you are dealing with. 


Big hugs.



Hi Naz

Thank u for ur reply. My boyfriend will be working plus he's not into the hospital scene either but I will try and have the conversation with him. Not sure how it will go as he cant handle illness etc he's still affected after watching his grandad die so he's not the best at discussing these issues which sometimes is good as everything is normal. We are making a slight progress as we had a wee chat regarding how I might be during treatment so I suppose we are getting somewhere lol I just think this has affected him more than he realised and doesn't like to show it but although we don't talk much about he has been a fantastic support system making sure I'm getting out and enjoying life etc. 


Hi Mel 

I know it's hard at times and sometimes u just want to scream out loud and ask why me. Sometimes I feel it's unfair then most of the time I'm like its here and the only thing i can do is fight my ass off. 

How are u doing otherwise,when do u get ur MRI results?

Keep ur chin up and big hugs to u. 

Nicola x 

Hi Mel

Hopefully u get the results soon. The waiting is just terrible I don't know about u but I feel these past 4 weeks have been like 4 years. I'm off work at the moment but I've been getting out all the time enjoying myself. Was hardly in the house over the weekend as was at gigs etc going for bar lunches. Going out makes me forget all about the cancer and stops me from thinking all the time. 

Yeah the bleeding has stopped as i got the same tablets as u,the doc had me in yesterday to take bloods because believe it or not nobody has checked my bloods since the bleeding started back in August and I've actually had a few funny turns so ill get the results in 2 days. 

My nurse reckons I might start treatment the week of 16th or the 23rd but I'll know for sure exactly what is happening on Thurs. 

Hope ur pre-assessment goes well. Try stay positive. 

Nicola x 

Hi ladies, the beginning is possibly the scariest part as it is the unknown but once you have your diagnosis and treatment plan you do feel a lot more at ease as the consultant explains everything to you and answers any questions. I was diagnosed with advanced cc on 3rd March this year and my last scan before my bra showed that it had shrunk from being huge to the size of a pea! My cancer was so huge I would have lumps of it coming out of me because it had no more room to grow just to give you an idea of the size.

i stopped bleeding once I started my chemo and I haven't bled since (yay) the treatment can be rough but each person reacts differentl.....the best advise I can give you is to keep up you eating whilst going through treatment eat more if you can and if you feel sick and the anti sickness tablets your given after chemo don't work ask for other! I've gone from having a healthy appetite to not being able to eat because I was so sick but I had stronger treatment than you may have and it's a lot harder to put the weight back on once lost.

also if you feel unwell tell them straight away - I have had a water infection for the last two months which turned into a really bad infection and I had to go into hospital (I didn't know what it was).

if you have any worries or concerns write on here you can inbox me I don't mind.

good luck xx

Hi Carmel

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It really helps when u get advice from people that know exactly how ur feeling and know exactly what u are faced with. I have to say again this place has helped me lots,I don't post all the time but I'm on all the time reading everyone's comments. 

Thats brillant about u though,I bet it's a huge relief for u. I know I'm going to beat this I'm ready for this fight and I will win its just I do have my moments when I start to get scared etc but I look at my daughter and know that the best thing I can do is fight this thing. 

Ive also been reading people's tips like the aloea Vera drinks etc. My mum went out and bought me some to try and will be stocking up on peppermint tea too.

So defo getting prepared for it. 

Thanks again. Nicola x 

Hi Mel

I haven't been told the size yet. 

Im not 100% sure as my mum got them for me but I will ask her and let u know asap. 

Nicola x 

Hi Mel

My mum got them in poundland, u get 2 bottles for £1. 

Nicola x 

Hi Mel

They don't taste that bad,u get flavoured ones too but yeah they are pretty good. Also been told that peppermint tea is a saviour so defo be getting some of that. 

But if anyone else has anymore advice that would be really appreciated. 

Thanks Nicola x 

Well tomorrow is the day, I'm not going to lie but I'm petrified. It doesn't seem real the whole CC situation and think I'm in denial but I think tomorrow it's going to really hit home but no matter what I'm going to dust myself off and get up and fight this thing. 

Ive not been in the house much today,trying to keep busy and keep my mind of things.

Nicola x

Best wishes for today Nicola. Thinking of you.


Thanks ladies 

Well today was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. They discussed the treatment and the side affects which I kinda already knew by reading up on it. They did say the PET scan did reveal that it's in my lymph nodes in the pelvic area but what they said is they are going for a cure which is what anybody wants to hear. They say I should get another scan next week for the tattoos then treatment should begin 10 days after that so they are looking at the 23rd. So got a few weeks to live life to the fullest before I start treatment. Got my weekend all planned for this week. So yeah I'm ready to start this fight and beat the damn thing.

Thanks again. 

Nicola X 

Hi Nicola,

so glad you heard the phrase we all need to hear before treatment "we are going for a cure". 5 years ago I was like you,  a couple of lymph nodes inflamed and starting treatment. 

i have beaten the cancer and  so can you.

Enjoy your weekend, enjoy life.


Big hugs,




Glad you had positive news...We all like the word "cure"! So so pleased for you.

Now go enjoy your weekend xxx

Thanks everyone 

Oh yeah I intend to enjoy my weekend and have as much fun and crazy times(legal crazy lol)before treatment starts and once I'm finished and all better I will continue to enjoy life as much as I can. This has defo put life into perspective,life is far too short to not enjoy life so u should grab the bull by the horns and go for anything u want and desire. 

Feeling positive and ready to kick Cancers ass. 

Yeah Mel u are right we will beat this,its a good thing we are going through treatment at the same time as we will be able to help each other and anyone else thats going through it or about to. 

Thanks again Nicola X 

I don't know what size my tumor was as I didn't ask I haven't asked anything about it its bad enough knowing I've got cancer - to me anyway. 

You can buy the pure aloe Vera from forever living reps it costs about £15 for a big jug thing but it's the pure stuff - the drinks from the £1 shop have about 3% of aloe in them and loads of sugar. If your on Facebook there is loads of people selling it or you can go on Google.

Just an idea.

It sounds like your just having radiotherapy you lucky girl! Make sure your comfy when they position you as the woman who did my line up wouldn't allow me and I had to keep lying with my back arched and (I don't think it's related) I get constant back ache which never helped as it's now worse than ever

Hi Carmel

Im the same I don't know the size either just hearing the words bulky was enough for me. 

Thanks for the heads up about the aloe Vera drinks, not into putting lots of sugar in my body so will defo check that out.

Yeah I'm getting radiotherapy 5 days a week and chemotherapy 1 day a week for 5 weeks then the 3 treatments at the end(I always forget the name )

So yeah another good weekend, full of laughs and banter. 

Got another fun packed weekend lined up for this week too. Making a curry for me and the boyfriend and a couple of beers on Frid,then hitting the town with him and a group of great and fascinating friends. Then off to a charity night on the Sunday to help raise money for MacMillan with my mum,auntie and cousins. So yeah another fun and exciting weekend planned. 

Im basically trying to get out and enjoy myself as much as I can before treatment starts, it's my way of coping with the situation. 

Sorry ive rambled on a bit lol. Anyway thanks for listening. Lol. 

Nicola X 

Let's try again! Dam iPad! 

its ok I enjoy hearing about other peoples plans lol! I've not been out for a night out for about a year and ive been so poorly throughout treatment I haven't been able to even if I wanted! (I'm going smash this dam thing!!) now  feel "normal" I've got my next 3 Saturday's booked up lol!

i hope the rest of your treatment goes ok for you x