This is first time posting somewhere like this. Despite having lost close family and friends to cancer over the last couple of years you still believe it will never happen to you.
Ivisited the GP 3 weeks ago as I had been having an abnormal discharge for a few weeks and was concerned. He did an examination and took swabs for infection (apparently my cervix looked normal and healthy at this point). The following friday I went along for my routine smear and mentioned the discharge to the nurse (swabs all negative from week before). Instead of doing my smear she made an appointment for a few days later with a female GP who has a gynae interest. Of I went, exactly 2 weeks after my first appointment expecting a little reassurance as my cervix was normal previously! This is where my world started crumbling around me........
My cervix wasn't normal nor indeed healthy- I have a growth. I can only assume the 1st doctor I saw didn't know what he was looking for. She took the smear but referred me to see a gynaecologist at my local hospital. I saw him yesterday- again he examined me. Afterwards he told me he needed to book me for theatre for a biopsy. He was unable to name anything else that this could be other than most people's worst nightmare, so I am left to wait for this next appointment not really knowing but with nothing else to pin my hat on to try and reassure myself in the meantime.
My partner and I don't have any children. I am devestated that I may never get that opportunity and am probably struggling to come to terms with that more than having cancer to be honest. I've always wanted to be a mother but chose to establish my career first. Life truly is a bitch!
The worst bit of all of this by far at the moment though has to be the constant waiting. I've never been particulary impatient but have discovered recently that I HATE WAITING!!! Did anyone else feel like everyday lasts forever with all thoughts revolving around the what ifs and why me's?
I would be extremely grateful for ay support that any of you lovely ladies can offer me at this time.