Scared of sex now :-(

since being told I have hpv and having lletz i have it in my mind that sex is gonna give me cancer and I'm also worried about throat cancer now too.. i also have this idea (irrational? I don't know) that if my body clears this virus my partner is going to reinfect me. 

Arrrrgggh I don't think ill ever have a normal sex life again :-(

Anyone else out there with the same worries?

absolutely hun! I have the exact same thoughts! But.. Don't let it change your life - at first I thought 'that's it, I'm never gonna enjoy sex again!' But after having a word with myself and giving myself a good talking too, I realised that I'm not gonna let HPV destroy any part of my life. I just see it now as a common cold. I'm doing the necessary job that my body needs to rid itself of this virus! Plenty of vitamin C and a healthy(ish) diet lol. I had low grade dyskariyosis and high risk HPV, but like with any virus - your bodies immune system can usually fight the virus off so you become immune. Also, I've heard you can't ping pong it back and forth from your partner. Once your body has built immunity to that certain strain of HPV - you can be reinfected with the same strain. Also with oral sex - I think the whole link with throat cancer and HPV is such a low risk and there's really not much evidence to say that the both are linked. Just resume a healthy sex life an put HPV to the back of your mind! Don't torture yourself over it.. It's that common, almost everyone who is sexually active will come into contact with one or more strains of HPV. Some won't ever know they have it, some will. Don't let it ruin your intimacy with your partner :) enjoy it! Nothing bad will happen - you most likely share the same strain of HPV and both your bodies will build immunity. Hope I've helped a little xxx

Sorry I meant you can't reinfect each other. Silly iphone lol xxx

Hi Foofar, I have those same worries, it's been 10 years since my last relationship so I haven't had sex in that amount of time, I almost didn't go for the smear test that picked up the abnormal cells because I thought not being sexually active there was no need, thank god I did. Anyway I've decided I'm never having sex again and am staying single because my immune system clearly has problems clearing hpv and if I was to meet someone I wouldn't know what strain they might have. However I think if I had been in a relationship the whole way through this I wouldn't be so worried because they say you don't keep reinfecting one another with the same strain so you are not introducing a different hpv to your body. I'm not suggesting anyone in my situation should stop having sex it's just what I've decided myself.

Hi Sunnyday - I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way. It's a real big shame that so many ladies are having the same thoughts due to HPV. There still is so much unknown about HPV which is why there is so much confusion and fear amongst women! I honestly don't think you should remain single for the rest of your life, or never have sex again because of HPV. Even if your body can't rid itself of the virus - you will be closely monitored with smears so they can detect any early abnormalities. It really is a shame for you to feel this way about it - and it's also sad (upsetting kind of sad) that it seems to have somewhat, changed your life? Please don't put your life on hold just because of a silly virus. Vitamin C in high doses does excellent things for the bodies immune system and it's a natural enemy for HPV. Take plenty! I really don't want women to lose themselves because of HPV - it is SO common that almost all sexually active people have one or more strains of HPV. Some clear it, some don't. It can take a couple of years to actually clear itself from your body - even those that struggle to fight off the virus still never go on to have severe abnormalities. People can live a long normal life with HPV. Please don't stop living your life! Enjoy it! Xxx

Hi Dani, I actually agree that it's a shame to let it change how I live my life but that's how it has made me feel. I am taking vitamins and supplements to boost my immune system and my last 2 smears have been normal but I've had 2 lletz already and I really did fear the worst over the last few years of this. It has changed me, in good ways too, I'm looking after my health better and realise what's important in life and to me thats my son who's 15 and I plan to stay around as long as I can for him. My last smear showed no evidence of hpv which was great but I don't want to risk picking up another strain of it and going through it all again. Thanks for your kind words I appreciate them and you are right in what you say. I may relax and feel different in the future but for now I'm being extra cautious.

I'm reassured that couples can't re infect eachother, I think that was my biggest worry.  Must stop worrying in general! Think I am going to get some vitamin C supliments too x

Hi ladies,

 I worried a long time about hpv, and then when I wanted to meet a new partner I decided to get vaccinated. Because I was over 30 the nhs wouldn't pay. It only cost about 117 per shot! But to me it was worth not getting worried aboutgetting reinfected, or getting the other strains. I would recommend gardasil.


From what I understand, sex with an infected partner *can* cause/prolong HPV persistence, and where natural immunity wanes to unprotective levels (natural immunity to HPV is not always life-long for some reason), reinfection can occur. A study showed that women who had sex with condoms cleared HPV faster than those who did not use condoms with their partners. Pretty sure some of this is addressed in the FAQ section. Think you might need to Google the study, though.

P.S. And, yes, I am now scared to have sex, too! Part of me still wants it, while the other part of me doesn't want to ever have sex again. :(

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