Scared of having CC

Hi everyone! 

I am sure you see a post like mine once in a while but I was advised by a good friend to share my thoughts here - since I don't want to burden/scare my family. 

 

I am 23 years old and currently living in London. I had my first smear when I was 16. One when I was 19 and I had one last Friday. 

About a year ago I started to experience pain during intercourse and also painful and frequent urination. There is no bloody discharge but the pain can from time to time be quite intense. 

My GP referred my to a sexual health clinic and they gave me the diagnosis of vaginismus/vulvodynia which is an intense pain in the vaginal area and is largely psychosomatic. My GP also tried to give me a pap smear but at that time the pain was so intense that it was simply not possible. Ever since, I have been doing pelvic floor exercise and therefore I feel pain during sex much less.

As my GP refused to give me another smear test without any other symptoms I decided to go private. 

I am currently waiting for my results. 

 

This may sound irrational - but I have managed to convince myself that I actually have cervical cancer. Given that I am already diagnosed with psychosomatic pain, it is extremely difficult for me to distinguish real symptoms from my own head playing a game with me. Depending on the day, I sometimes feel sharp pain in the abdominal area and also in the lower back. In additon, I have not had pap smear for almost 4 years and I still feel the frequent need to urinate and occassionaly pain during sex. 

 

I should probably add that my aunt (which was like a sister to my mother) died of CC shortly after giving birth to her daughter. Her succumb was so incredibly heartbreaking to watch that my entire family was suffering from PTSD for years to come. Her case was, however, an unfortunate one as she was attending her smear tests regularly and cancer was simply not detected until stage 4 - so I appreciate I should not assume all CC diagnosis are like that. 

Adding all the factors together and the fact that I am near my final exams at law school - I ve felt drained ever since the smear last Friday.

If anyone could share their opinion on my case I would be the most grateful. 

Try not to worry, I really know it's easier said than done I am a born worrier! Its good that your getting checked im sure everything will come back fine, if it doesn't there is so much they can do to help you. But I really am sure you will be ok. I had my first smear 2 years ago and it caame back that I had CIN3 it was treated with lettzz (not sure on how to spell it) and I had a repeat the year after. It's quiet rare that at such a young age but I know your mind can play tricks with you. Maybe speak to your gp and discuss your concerns and they could put your mind at ease. You can always message if you want a chat, try not to worry 

zoe xx