Scared and expecting the worst :-(

Hi,

I went to see my GP last week as I have been having some erratic and heavy menstral bleeding over the last three months. I also have some pelvic pain, and actually thought I might have a ovarian cyst or similar.

The Dr quite rightly gave me a good telling off for being out of date with my smears and told me to come back when I'd had one. SO, I made an appointment with the nurse for later the same afternoon.

When I saw the nurse, and she tried to take the smear, there was a lot of contact bleeding, and she believed that she could see / feel a growth/lump the size of a rasberry on my cervix. She told me to make an urgent appointement to see the GP.

Saw GP on thursday, who did a thorough examination of my cervix. No lump/growth seen. However - she says that there is an area of my cervix that doesn't look right - she called it an "abnormal lesion" and believes that the lump the nurse felt was actually a blood clot from that site.

Dr has referred me for an urgent colposcopy (within two weeks apparently) so now I am waiting... and panicking!!

I would be so grateful of any insight / advice / shared expreience.  I am terrified.

Sorry, I know I've gone on abit , if you are still reading - Thank you!!

 

Ange xx

And I've just realised I've put this in the wrong place.  Not doing very well, am I :-(

Hi 

I had the same thing happen to me although I had kept up with my smear tests,  try not to panic as it could be a number of things before it could be cancer, I have been exactly where you are now and the emotion you feel is awful, you are scared and panicing but try not too.  Do not google as it doesn't help, makes it feel worse and you end up diagnsing yourself with all sorts.  Whatever the results from your colposcopy things move at a hair raising speed, I was diagnosed with cancer but its now gone.  You will be okay :)

Emma x

Thank you so much for replying!

The only thing I have googled is colposcopy, just to see what its like, and that's how I found this site.

I've already been overthinking it soooo much - I've pretty much diagnosed myself and killed myself off in my own head ;-)

I have read quite a few posts on here now and some are very reassuring. I had no idea just how many women this affects.

 

Ange xx

you dont do you till it effects you, no matter what the outcome is  its never as bad as you fear, i was like you terrified I didnt sleep couldnt think it was awful, and was diagnosed with cancer, everyone has been fab and its was removed like the majority of the ladies on here, now im on the other side feeling great xxx

 

Oh Ange, I am so sorry for your news.

As you know, do not Google. You have done the best thing by finding this website and forum- have a read through to see the range of experiences people have had so when you go for your colposcopy you have an idea of what could happen next.

As Emma said, there are many reasons for what has happened to you but I know you are being realistic and know it may be cc. As for believing the worse and almost having yourself dead and buried, we have all been there. Last week before my meetings with the consultant I had myself at stage 4 with every part of my innards riddled with cancer!

You will worry, it is natural. Talk to people around you, don't hold everything in and be patient. Waiting is the worst part. Good luck, fingers crossed x Dons

Thank you. I am trying to be positive as much for my partner as for myself. We have two girls so I have to be normal around them and I work full time so that keeps me busy although I am finding it hard to concentrate.  My doctor told me not to worry until I was given something to worry about which is good advice but its hard not to thinkthe Worst! 

Even then the worst news isn't always the worst new if that makes sense, I was the same as Don, I was riddled lol, every ache and every little teinge will be highlighted now, I started to get a pain in my arm and my hip and I thought its even in my bones, as soon as the consultant said I was a stage 1b the pains went.  Keep strong, keep busy you will get through this :)

Hi Angie,   I am having my colposcopy tomorrow - less than 2 weeks after I got my smear result letter telling I had high grade diskaryosis.   I was terrified by the letter and am still pretty terrified but thanks to this forum and the lovely ladies here I am now slghtly less hysterical about my dodgy cervix !

Like Donna I am of course also convinced that I am riddled with cancer and that the backache I've had for, oh I don't know, the last 10 - 15 years or so means I have it in my bones.  I've also developed either thrush or some kind of vaginal infection in the last week (you know that horrible burning sensation deep inside) which of course is another sign I must be on my last legs - the mind and body do these things eh !

I think Emma is right, we expect the worse news, but then even if we get it there is usually a way forward and its not game over (as least thats how I am thinking right now !)

I expect you will get your Colposcopy appointment pretty quickly as I got my letter 4 days after the referal.  At least whatever is going on with us it gets dealt with a breakneck speed.

I wont say don't worry because thats impossible, but do try to restrict your reading to sites like this as its helped and calmed me down a lot

Good luck hun

xxxxx

 

 

I really appreciate every reply - it has helped so much.

Had a call from the hospital this morning, Colp booked for Thursday afternoon. Lady who called me was so lovely and reassuring, feel a tad sorry for her now though as I burst into tears!  She explained that it is a "See and Treat" clinic, so if treatment is needed it will be done there and then if possible.  Still very scared and worried but a bit calmer than I was and frankly AMAZED to be being seen so quickly!!

Wahey for you!!!
That’s what you need, if they see something get it treated, mine was one of these too so I left feeling much better rather than having to go back. I felt really positive that something had been done so hopefully you will too.
Don x