I have been lurking here since my colposcopy 2 weeks ago and after talking to a lady on the helpline finally plucked up the courage to post. I was diagnosed with high-grade dyskaryosis following a recent smear test and taken in for a colposcopy. On the day the lady examining me said that anything abnormal would show in white and she would then decide whether to take the biopsy or do the treatment straight away. When the liquid was applied nearly all of the surface of the cervix turned white which straight away worried me. The consultant decided to treat me straight away and performed a Lletz. Words like severe and CIN3 were mentioned and she said she noted a couple of the areas that she felt were different to the rest so she wanted to make sure they were biopsied. I think I was in shock as tbh most of its a blur and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried a little in the chair. I am still waiting on the biopsy results and when I called to see if they were back earlier today they said they weren't back but they would chase them first thing tomorrow.
I live alone over 130 miles from my family and am single. I have no one really I feel comfortable talking to about this as the last person I tried didn't really understand what the problem was. They said that its clearly not cancer so stressing over something trivial but it doesn't feel trivial to me. I am not too bad through the day when I am at work as I am distracted but I admit my heart pounds whenever my phone rings and its an unknown number.
Another friend just keeps telling me to stay positive and although I know they are trying to help telling me to be positive doesnt make it happen. I haven't made it common knowledge in my circle of friends as one recenetly lost 2 of her friends to cancer and I don't want to tell them half a story, I want the full picture
I may not be making sense. I am scared and angry at myself and I feel like I am alone. I would really appreciate some advise. Did anyone else feel like this whilst waiting for results and how did you pull yourself out of it?
Thanks in advance for reading