Hey,
So recently had that dreaded Hpv positive news and instantly thought the worst but finding this page has really helped and screening is really the best thing for a gals health, so thank you!!
But (and I know it’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things) I’m now stressing about a new relationship as it feels as though this news has come at the worst possible time!! Do you or do you not disclose?
It irritates me that i might be stigmatised for something he already has but would never know!! But at the same I find it odd not to say something?
I’ve been told that it’s extremely common but why does no one know/talk about this, I honestly had no idea and it’s knocked me and my confidence back. I don’t feel enough is known about this, like is this more about my body than the virus itself or is the virus solely the issue…
Anyway I guess I’m looking for some experiences/advice of telling someone or not telling someone and their reaction.
Thank you!
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Hi Fern,
It’s totally your choice whether to disclose or not. I personally am very flippant about it. A couple of years ago when I had my first HPV positive smear, I said to my boyfriend “urgh, my smear’s come back HPV, no abnormal cells. Looks like I’ll be having yearly smears”. The situation puts me out, not him. He wasn’t bothered to be honest, simply asked what it meant so I explained. After my recent smear, again HPV no abnormal cells, I had a colposcopy where CIN2 was found (and treated). He was more worried for me, questioning over whether it was cancer or not, which it isn’t.
I think this is the only way to tackle the apparent taboo over this. To be upfront about it, not shameful as we don’t have some dirty secret, we simply have a virus that most bodies deal with perfectly well. But as I said, it does come down to personal choice.
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Hi Emma,
Thank you for your reply I think that’s such a way to approach it. I’m pleased to hear your CIN2 was treated and that your boyfriend was supportive.
I definitely think it needs to be spoken about more and accurately to help those told they have hpv and abnormal cells. In all honesty I was completely flawed when I first found out and googling only really made me feel worse until I found this page.
I’m also confused as if it really is common, why is it so not openly talked about? Do people hide it?
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I think it may be because smears only started screening for HPV a few years ago. This means a lot of people are having their three-yearly smears and then being told they have HPV for the first time, which has left so many people confused. They either think their partner has cheated, or they feel dirty and ashamed that they’ve “done this to themselves” putting their health at risk. This then has the effect of people living in fear and shame, not disclosing the situation to their partner, family and friends. Disclosing to family and friends is a good idea, as not only can they be a support for us, it means they are encouraged to go for their smears too.
I think being told we have HPV, rather than not knowing about it, is a blessing, as it means we are much more likely to keep on top of our smears. And now, we are sent for colposcopy if our smears show HPV for three years. For me, this meant they found and treated CIN2, even though my smears were not showing abnormal cells. If I hadn’t have been tested for HPV, I would have continued to have three-yearly (now five in Wales) smears, and my undetected abnormal cells could’ve got worse.
Now that more people are finding out they have HPV, hopefully it will become more freely spoken about and less taboo 
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