Relationship breakdown

Hey Guys

 

Wells thats it, my seven year relationship finally gave way yesterday, too much strain.  The cancer was too much for our relationship to handle and we have brokendown unrepairable.  Do I feel sad yes, but in all honesty I feel some relief.  Cancer is the hardest thing to go through, when you are diagnosed and when having treatment you have so much support, someone is pushing you through and getting you by each day.  I am 5 months past my last bit of treatment and although I am cancer free I still have nerve damage and bladder problems, the phine calls of support have stopped, thats it I am supposed to feel like I did before having cancer, but the truth is I don't.  People who had special meaning in my life have gone, my relationship has gone, casualties of cancer.  So what next for me, carry on and start having fun, I have lost 2 stone since diagnosis thats a good thing :) , finish my nursing studies and re-find myself because somewhere I lost me, I lost what makes me feel good, what makes my life worth living.  I will not allow cancer to take everything, I have learnt so much, I have learnt about courage and strength and have learnt that I need to live for me and for my beautiful girls :) 

Love Emma

Hi emma, i am sorry to hear about your relationhip. I tottlly understand where your coming from though. Ive mnaged to keep the family tgether but sometimes i feel like is it worth me struggling though or should i just move on and start afresh. The GP had put me on antidepresnts whch i was reluctant to take but im going to try them. I also feel like the old me has gone and i am saddened by this. My figure has gone to ruin, i have lymphodema and bladder and bowel probems however im a fighter as you are and i am determined to live my life in  better and more positive way. enjoy your life with you and your girls...all my love lea xx

Hi Emma

So so sorry to hear of your relationship breakdown.  I really hope you find the love and support that we all need.

I still have nerve damage and mentally feel very different too.  It makes me sad that I will never be the same person and I don't know how to feel happy at the moment, hopefully that will change.

The relationship with my sister has changed forever.  She never came to see me and was quite dismissive of the fact I had cancer that I just can't feel the same way about her anymore.

Its so difficult when we are expected just to carry on as normal now and we feel so different.

On the positive side I have lost 1.5 stones and like you have learnt a lot about strength and courage.  I do believe this is a journey we are on and things will get better for us.  And as for support, we have all the wonderful ladies on this site who understand best of all.

Hugs, Cheryl,xx

Hi Emma

I just wanted to share your pain. I had my last treatment on 13th February and that night, my other half of three years, who had asked me to move in with him just two weeks before suddenly said that although he loved me, he didnt see would could live together because it was just all too intense! The next night he said he didnt want me to be on my own but got home really late and found me totally bladdered after drinking a whole bottle of wine and not had anything to eat, and crying my heart out in the shower. The next day he was working and never came home, then it just went from bad to worse. He said he wanted to live a little and started being quite elusive. On 2nd March he told me he needed space and I told him i wanted to try and work through it and within two weeks, he was telling me that he couldnt see a future and I have since discovered there is also someone else. The weird thing is, we have been together solidly for the last three years and on and off for 13 yrs before that and I feel nothing! I cant cry, I feel sad but the fact that there is someone else doesnt even seem to bother me. I am so confused and believe that whilst there were underlying issues before my diagnosis, the cancer actually destroyed us as a couple (he was great during my treatment) Its just such an odd feeling and I sort of feel so relieved but somehow lost. I so have an appetite for life now even on my own and its all a bit unreal xx

Hi Emma. We were diagnosed at a similar time, I had a rad hyst and have just finished radiotherapy treatment. You have been so strong and reading through some of your posts have kept me going. You are a strong ldady. However things turn out you should be proud of how far you have come. Looking forwards is the way to go. Good luck to you and your girls x

Hi matey,

So sorry to hear ur news.  More sadness to deal with after everything u have been through. People just dont realise cancer takes so much away from u that cannot be seen.

I am on anti depressants, keep going backwards and forwards to GP after completely falling apart at work. But they are working and im feeling brighter now. I, alas, did not lose weight but put on over a stone!!!!!! So I have self esteem issues. BUT on a happier note bought a static caravan at butlins !! Wahey!

I have been lucky with my hubbie and a couple of close friends support but know what u mean about everyone else. Didn't bother going to a family wedding as no one had been to see me or even send a card so I refused to spend any time with them alongside spending a load of money. Stuff em.  Life is too short to spend on anyone just cos people feel we should.

I do hope u get ur course done and sort everything for a brighter future.  It's bound not to be easy, nothing ever is, but I wish u lots of luck. Enjoy those girls of urs!!

Hugs and love,

Dons x