(After writing this post, I realise I have gone on a bit, but perhaps I needed to just get what I was feeling down in words - I don't expect many to get to the end!)
It's funny, I didn't even know the name of what I had done at the clinic, all I could remember was that she was taking away the abnormal cells. I looked it up when I got home and discovered she did tell me at the beginning of the apointment and she had called it Loop Diathermy, which from a bit of searching I see is same as LLETZ refer to it.
Anyway, went in a week ago due to 'changes that require further investigation' came back from my routine smear. Mind has been all over the place, what does it mean? how long has there been changes? can it get worse? can it come back? You name it, i've asked it.
On visual inspection she told me the cells were in the higher grade and she would recommend having them removed, I had the option of straight away or go away and wait for an appointment, I thought no way am I coming back if I can avoid it, do it now. But like I say, didn't know what exactly was going to happen. All I could think about was that at the beginning of the appointment she had said if we ended up going down that road I had to avoid exercise for 2-3 weeks, which means I can't get out running, something I was starting to build back up again.
I won't go into too much detail of the actual treatment as I appreciate there are people on here that have not been through it yet and I don't want to make anyone feel more nervous than they probably already are, especially when everyone has different experiences.
So she tells me there is an area about the size of a cotton bud head, and she has removed that.
I am told I will get results of the biopsy in 6 weeks, then will get a letter to book a smear at GP in 6 months time. But my first question here, what is the biopsy going to tell me? What level of CIN it is? Is it already cancerous? I have no idea, but I can't help thinking it's not going to be good if I had abnormal cells that were best taken out of there. Don't even get me started on the HPV questions - if I test positive to having it in 6 months time, where on earth did that come from? Can my husband have it? Have I had it since before we met or has it just developed in me?
I heard words like 'cramping', 'period pains', 'discharge', 'bleeding' but I don't really know what order they all come in and for how long. She told me if I missed my running group the next 2 times, then I should be okay to go next time - but how do I know if I am ready to go, will I just know? That would only be 16 days since the LLETZ and nothing like the 4 weeks that others talk about in this and other forums. Why did she just make it 2-3 weeks, is 4 weeks overestimating? She told me the 2-3 weeks before she had examined me, so I don't think it was related to how big the affected area was.
For the first week after the treatment I have felt quite rubbish frankly. I've carried on work as normal, although felt like it was the last place I wanted to be. I've not spoke to many people, my husband speaks to me every day about it, he's a god send, but it was only 2 days ago that I finally told someone else. So this first week, I haven't bled, apart from initially after the treatment, but I have 'dribbled' all day every day. First 4 or 5 days I felt stingy inside, I felt like I wanted to pee more, and also felt a bit scared to 'go' to the loo for the other, scared I tore something with straining - no one says anything about that. The watery discharge I was getting seemed to be quite unpleasant smelling, so that led me to worry that I had an infection and the thought of having to be examined by my GP especially while a bit tender anyway, just made me feel sick. However, I think part of my problem was only using pantyliners rather than towels, I felt they were all I needed but think I got that wrong. The towels have helped with the smell problem, which I would describe as 'cheesey' (sorry!), but that sort of smell you get when you've been wearing tight jeans on a hot day - perhaps a bit stronger than that. Day 6, I felt awful, really under the weather, tired, achy in my tummy, a bit spaced out/dizzy at times and extremely weepy- no idea what this was.
Then day 7 came and I was aware of not feeling so bad, well to start with anyway. I was aware the stinging feeling had gone, the need to pee so much had gone, the dribble didn't seem quite so bad and I actually felt more energised for a while. By evening the aches were back in my tummy, cramp like, stabbing feeling that moves around and the dribble appears to be back. Even in my sleep last night I had aches, woke up with aches which have now subsided, but the dribble feels back with a vengeance, still no blood. There was 2 small (tiny) pieces of something when I wiped this morning, i'd call it floaters as it's the only way I can think to describe it, is this scab? In which case, have I recovered really fast?
From what I have read, I still have the heavy bleed to come. I am on the pill and due to stop the packet a week on Thursday, my period usually comes on the Monday, is this likely to be a bad one (i'm going away that weekend, so hope to not be doubled up with cramps). I had planned on carrying on to next pill packet to avoid my period starting, but that was before the LLETZ treatment, so I don't know if I should still do that, will it keep my period at bay for the next month or is it likely to just come anyway from all the treatment?
And going back to the pains you get, has anyone else felt like their ribs have been kicked? I actually feel some days like I have done 1000 situps and the muscles around the bottom of my ribs are aching, can't think of any other reason i'd be feeling this. As well as this there can be sharp stabbing pains that move around, but they almost feel like they are on the skin rather than inside. They are usually short and don't cause much discomfort, but I guess when you know what's gone on in there you notice these things more.
I'll stop now, I think I have got all current thoughts off my mind, if anyone can answer any of the questions I have it would be a help, but I appreciate that everyone is different.