Really need somebody to talk to - LONG POST


I really need someone to talk to.

I will explain the best I can.......

I went to the doctors as I had a small amount of brown spotting between periods and bright red blood after sex.  He said it may be an erosion,  I had a smear booked for May but in the meantime I went for an ovary scan and that was all ok.

I had a smear booked in May so I attended.  The nurse who did my smear said I had quite alot of discharge and it bled when she took the swab.  I was referred for a colposcopy but my smear result came back mild dyskarosis and HPV negetive so to go back in 3 years.

I went for my colposcopy 4 weeks ago, the nurse said it looked fine but took biopsies.  The results were CIN2 and I have been asked to go back for a repeat colposcopy and maybe have some treatment.

My concern is that I already have advanced stage cancer as I am bleeding.

I have had CIN3 in the past and had a lletz carried out (approximately 7 years ago), also my nurse a few years ago thought she saw a Polyp but then the doctor couldn't find it?!

I spoke to a nurse yesterday as my eyes were swollen with crying.  She said that CIN2 doesn't indicate cancer and the bleeding maybe just because my cervix is sore.

If I wasn't bleeding after sex I wouldn't be so worried but I am and can't help thinking that something has been missed or when I have my next treatment they will find inoperable cancer.

I know bleeding is a MAJOR sign of cervical cancer and very rarely just from abnomal changes.

I feel like I don't want to go out anywhere or do anything if I am dying.  I am due to go on holiday to Lanzarote in 3 weeks but don't see the point.  This may sound ridiculous to some people but its how I feel.

I have been on anti-depresssants for 13 years for an Anxiety Disorder and I'm not coping with this at all.

I keep thinking of my funeral :-(

I'm 31, not married, have no children and not ready to go yet.

I'm sorry to feel so self pityful but I don't know who to talk to.  My family assures me that all the checks have been fine and nothing has been missed but I argue the 'what ifs' with them.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Helen xx


Firstly you need to try an calm down because the stress of it all will make you sick also! I have stage 4 cervical cancer and I would just like to tell you there was no bleeding between periods or after sex! the bleeding could be many things! The only bleeding I had was from my urine as it had penetrated my bladder! I don’t mean to scare you I’m trying to reassure you that maybe the nurse is right and it is erosion! I lost with in my doctors an nurses due to my late diagnoses but the specialists and consultants have been fantastic. have you had a MRI or CT scan this could help ease your worries too?

Laura x

Hi Laura,

Thank you so much for your reply, I didn't think anyone would help me.

I'm sorry to hear that you were diagnosed and I hope that your gonna kick that cancers ass.

I haven't had an MRI or CT scan as they have just asked me back for another colposcopy as my biopsy results said CIN2.

You have made me feel more positive and I really am grateful for that.

Helen x

Hello there,

I'm sorry you're going through all this. There can be other reasons for bleeding so please bear that in mind. CIN2 isn't cancer, and hopeflly they'll be able to arrange your coploscopy soon. If you're able to keep busy, distract yourself with things you enjoy (DVDS, books maybe?) this can help take your mind off things. Trying to keep things in perspective can help, and if you find your mind racing off down inappropriate roads, try to bring myself back to reality with the facts - it's not cancer, they are going to treat you. 

I wonder whether the fact this has happened again after you were treated has increased your anxiety? I can relate to anxieties around that, I was poleaxed when my smear came back abnormal after treatment. But it's good you were fine after your LLETZ before and chances are that will the case again. If you feel your anxiety levels are off the scale of what's usual for you, I wonder if it might worth chatting to your GP to check if there is anything else they can do to help?

Take care, hope you get your appointment soon x

Hi Lovely


As Twilight said I can totally understand the emotional rollarcoaster which surrounds this whole business. Its really tough and can take alot out on you. I bled everytime someone even looked at my cervix which got me in a complete state but I did "only" have cin 3 and nothing worse. So fingers crossed it is the same for you.

Try and find something/anything which could take your mind off of what is happening, and maybe open up to someone you feel comfortable with. If you are really struggling it could be worth talking to your GP?


C x 

Twilight, I am sorry to see your latest smear came back abnormal again. It must be so frustrating x