I really need someone to talk to.
I will explain the best I can.......
I went to the doctors as I had a small amount of brown spotting between periods and bright red blood after sex. He said it may be an erosion, I had a smear booked for May but in the meantime I went for an ovary scan and that was all ok.
I had a smear booked in May so I attended. The nurse who did my smear said I had quite alot of discharge and it bled when she took the swab. I was referred for a colposcopy but my smear result came back mild dyskarosis and HPV negetive so to go back in 3 years.
I went for my colposcopy 4 weeks ago, the nurse said it looked fine but took biopsies. The results were CIN2 and I have been asked to go back for a repeat colposcopy and maybe have some treatment.
My concern is that I already have advanced stage cancer as I am bleeding.
I have had CIN3 in the past and had a lletz carried out (approximately 7 years ago), also my nurse a few years ago thought she saw a Polyp but then the doctor couldn't find it?!
I spoke to a nurse yesterday as my eyes were swollen with crying. She said that CIN2 doesn't indicate cancer and the bleeding maybe just because my cervix is sore.
If I wasn't bleeding after sex I wouldn't be so worried but I am and can't help thinking that something has been missed or when I have my next treatment they will find inoperable cancer.
I know bleeding is a MAJOR sign of cervical cancer and very rarely just from abnomal changes.
I feel like I don't want to go out anywhere or do anything if I am dying. I am due to go on holiday to Lanzarote in 3 weeks but don't see the point. This may sound ridiculous to some people but its how I feel.
I have been on anti-depresssants for 13 years for an Anxiety Disorder and I'm not coping with this at all.
I keep thinking of my funeral :-(
I'm 31, not married, have no children and not ready to go yet.
I'm sorry to feel so self pityful but I don't know who to talk to. My family assures me that all the checks have been fine and nothing has been missed but I argue the 'what ifs' with them.
Any help would be much appreciated.