Radical Hysterectomy eeeeeek!

Where to start! So my consultant has told me that my treatment will be a Radical Hysterectomy and lymph nodes out.... Not too sure how I feel about this. Some days I think great let's do this just take it out and other days I'm thinking Nooooo. I had a large top hat cone biopsy a d and c and an eua two weeks ago. He has told me he can't do anything for 6 to 8 weeks until I heal. I feel like I'm on a horrible fairground ride and I want to press stop and get off. Funny how you see peoples true colours at times like this too. I'm exhausted and as Ron Burgundy puts it.. I'm in a glass case of emotion. And I really want to just squash the evil cancer leprechaun that sits on my shoulder all day long doing a little jig singing you've got cancer you've got cancer you've got cancer. Like a throbbing headache. I think I'm getting a delayed reaction to everything. Its funny how some people are so devastated when you tell them you have to have a hysterectomy and others are like oh that's great news and so casual about it... Like your after telling them your getting the hard skin on your foot removed. And I have gotten special intention holy cards from someone I haven't met but some of my close pals can't even pick up the phone and ring me ! Cancer schmancer. Sorry for the rant! 

 

C x

Hello..I know what you mean about certain friends. My cancer has defo showed me who was a true friend and who isn't. With regards ti the hysterectomy I had one back in November I also had my ovaries removed (that was my choice ) and at first u felt ok about it just wanted to have the cancer gone. Mine was done laparoscopic so my recoverywas excellent. I can say now all my treatment is over im starting to feel a little upset and angry that this happened to me but then I think I'm one of the lucky ones to be able ti have the cancer removed ..I wish you well in your surgery and recovery xxx

Hi, I had my Rad Hyst last Oct and I remember thinking at the time that it certainly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I had a vertical incision with ovaries removed as I had a large cyst on the left one and also a fibroid in my womb.

Friends were good to start with but the interest soon waned for many!  And my one and only sister who lives about 3 hrs drive away has never been to see me the same as my cousin who I've always been close to and lives under 2 hrs drive away.  My parents are no longer here so its just been me and hubby who has been wonderful.

I was very lucky in that I didn't need any further treatment so its just the check ups for now.  I have a vault smear in April and there will be a MRI in October.

Yes, its a very emotional time and being in a glass case of emotion is a very good description!  The cancer word does whirl round the mind an awful lot but does get better with time.  It hasn't gone for me yet but at least I'm getting times now when I'm not thinking of it quite so much.

Its not great that you've got to wait so long when you probably just want to get it over and done with so just try and do as many nice things as you can during that time. Keep us posted on how you get on.

Hugs.xx

Hello C.  I like your sense of humour! - it will definately help you on your journey.  I laughed at the leprechaun bit, for me it's a monkey!! bad monkey on one shoulder, good monkey on the other.  Peoples reactions for me have been a 'biggie'  I had a thing about people always saying to me ''you'll be ok, you'll be ok''  FFS, it's cancer I'd scream inside - how do you know I'll be ok, the doctors can't even tell me that I'll be ok''  Worse I think is now that all my treatment's over etc,  for them its like '' give yourself a pat on the back, now that's 'over' everything's going to get back to normal again''  NO - actually nothing will ever be normal again, and in my mind it's certainly not over!  

It's ok to have a rant - I love having a rant - some ladies have written blogs - now they really rant and it makes good ''amusing'' reading.  Only when you're in this situation will you understand.

God Bless

Sharon

Hi C

 

I am in similar position to the other ladies. I had my radical hyst on 6th Jsn with lymph nodes and ovaries removed. Results of all biopsies have all come back clear which is fab but head is now all over the place trying to come to terms with the enormity (is that a word?) of what has happened to me which is finally sinking in. And boy is it huge!! You do find out who is ther for you - husband has been a rock who I cling to on bad days but has also made me laugh on some of the darker days. Friends have just been amazing as well and been with me every step of the way with virtual and real hugs. Family however have been bobbins (would have liked to use a stronger word but post might get rejected!).  My sister lives 3 hours away on train but was "too busy" to come and visit and cant understand (a) why I expected her to visit as she lives so far away and (b) doesn't have any clue about how upset this makes me!  My dad who is only an hour drive away hasn't been much better either - visited me three times in what is now six weeks post op. He also upset me because " he can't have grandkids". Nevermind the fact that I have had all my bits removed and it's me who can't actually have kids, not him!! When I try to talk to them about the day to day reality of living with this "new normal" I just get told told to "stay positive". It makes me so cross/ angry/ upset - hence the rant!!  "You can choose your friends .." and all that.  Sorry for the rant ladies but have to get it out of my system.  Thanks for listening hugs to all on this rollercoaster journey SL xx 

Hi C

 

I am in similar position to the other ladies. I had my radical hyst on 6th Jsn with lymph nodes and ovaries removed. Results of all biopsies have all come back clear which is fab but head is now all over the place trying to come to terms with the enormity (is that a word?) of what has happened to me which is finally sinking in. And boy is it huge!! You do find out who is ther for you - husband has been a rock who I cling to on bad days but has also made me laugh on some of the darker days. Friends have just been amazing as well and been with me every step of the way with virtual and real hugs. Family however have been bobbins (would have liked to use a stronger word but post might get rejected!).  My sister lives 3 hours away on train but was "too busy" to come and visit and cant understand (a) why I expected her to visit as she lives so far away and (b) doesn't have any clue about how upset this makes me!  My dad who is only an hour drive away hasn't been much better either - visited me three times in what is now six weeks post op. He also upset me because " he can't have grandkids". Nevermind the fact that I have had all my bits removed and it's me who can't actually have kids, not him!! When I try to talk to them about the day to day reality of living with this "new normal" I just get told told to "stay positive". It makes me so cross/ angry/ upset - hence the rant!!  "You can choose your friends .." and all that.  Sorry for the rant ladies but have to get it out of my system.  Thanks for listening hugs to all on this rollercoaster journey SL xx 

Hi, i had a radical hysterectomy but in 2 operations, i had stage 1A cervical cancer in 2008, had loop done as treatment, been on yearly smears since & had colposcopy done in may 2013, i only found out i had stage 1B1 cervical cancer in Nov 2013 when i had a total hysterectomy, mine hasn't been detected in 5yrs..oncology doctor i saw doesn't think they did clear it 5yr ago like they thought... i had to have another operation 6 weeks ago to remove 14 lymph nodes, all fatty tissue where cervix was & vaginal cuff, had they known about the cancer i would have had all this done in one operation (radical hyst)...traumatised by the fact it went undetected for 5yr and even more to think had they doctors not dimissed my problems as hormones or my age or me just being a nusiance as thats how i was made to feel, i needn't have had 2 major operations within 7 weeks of each other...results all good from second operation (paramectromy) no cancer showing anywhere, had 6 week check this week & all good, first follow up in May xxx

Thanks for the replies ladies. My consultant said he would leave my ovaries as im only 30. I don't know what to think of that. Whether I would be better off to ask for them out. He kinda just told me that I was to have the radical hysterectomy and told me to go home and leave it sink in and write down any questions. I asked him nothing. I was so sick I picked up a nasty chest infection after cone biopsy. I just wanted to go home to bed. Nightmare. Plus he told me in front of my partner who nearly slid off the chair. So it was a lot to take in!My pet scan MRI and ct scan were ok though except for my cervix. Thank god. I have a fab partner. Very supportive but not very talkative about stuff like this. My mam has been fantastic. My dad .. Not so much. He's very much pick yourself up dust yourself down and get on with it. I read one ladies blog.. Helloverajuice. Very very funny. I'm delighted to see that you ladies are doing well after everything. I just keep wondering what if I didn't go for my smear when I did. Its scary. 

Hello,  the consultant probably assumed that you'd one day want to have children, that is why they don't remove the ovaries routinely.  If you were definate about not having children, I'd have them out but it's a big big decision especially if you're not sure.  At my age I said ''whip 'em out doc,  the less that's in there the less of a risk it'll be for me''  Being 51 made the decision for me because at that age they're  neither for use nor ornament!  Good bloody job too - after the op & they analysed everything, it was found in my ovaries & this hadn't shown up in either CT or MRI.  It was microscopic they said and also rare for it to go this way.  Don't let this frighten you, it's rare.

I've read that blog too - so real. Hell over a juice, hello vera juice!  I like the humour in her blog - it's just a case of say it as you think it!  Now that my treatment's over & my follow-up scans haven't shown any recurrence, I can see the 'funny' side though its not fecking funny, if you know what I mean.  It absolutely does help - so, don't lose your sense of humour, tinged with reality, tinged with anger, get it down in writing! give the rest of us a laugh!!

Sharon

Hi there,

I had the rad hyst at age 30 and kept my ovaries. It can depend on the type of CC your have, I had squamous cell. Also at 30 you have a lot of life ahead of you so for your body to be without hormones produced by the ovaries for a long time it can be detrimental to your health. There is HRT of course if you do have them removed. It’s weird not having periods but still getting PMT symptoms!

Good luck with it all xx

HI C

 

Its a big decision to make. I decided to have my ovaries removed as my mum had a hysterectomy for heavy periods etc and they left the ovaries in. Mum then got ovarian cancer 15 years later and sadly passed away.  It was a no-brainer for me to have them romoved as I didn't want to go down the same path and consultant said it would increase my risk. Bring on the HRT :-).  I also had a long chat with my sister this weekend and told her exactly why I was so upset with her for not visiting. I think she understands but not sure she will ever acknowledge her role in this whole sorry situation. Although it was hard to tell her, I actually feel much better for doing it - weight of my shoulders and one less thing to think about. Sometimes honesty is the best policy even if it is hard to do.  It's probably the one time where we have to be selfish and think of ourselves! Good luck with it all  SL xx