Firstly I just want to say thank you to those who run this website - it is fantastic and very supportive
A lot of my questions relate to smears in the context of same sex relationships, a topic which I am struggling to find much info on online.
I got invited to my first smear recently (aged 25), ended up having it about 5 months after my birthday (silly to delay it but have quite an intense job and move around a lot), a couple of weeks ago.
I expected it to be clear. Firstly, I had the HPV vaccine (although admittedly was possibly exposed to HPV at a young age for reasons out of my control, which is not something I feel comfortable discussing). Secondly, I have been in a relationship for 7 years (Same sex partner). We did have a break 4.5 years ago, when I did have one other sexual partner (also same sex) for a period of 6 months, but myself and my partner have been completely monogomous for about 4 years.
I got a call last week to say i had severe dyskorysosis and HPV. This was a shock to me. The hopsital asked if I could come in 2 days later. The colposcopy was uncomfortable but fine. Some biopsies were taken but the consultant assured me that he is fairly confident it is CIN 3 rather than CC. Still I have to wait for biopsies. He has booked me in for a lletz end of feb as I am going on holiday next week, for 2 weeks, and he was not happy for me to have it before going away.
I had some questions really and was wondering if anyone could help me.
I am of course worried that I have cancer. I know it is impossible to tell without the biopsy. I am concerned because I have lost about a stone of weight in the last few months (although I have been under tremendous pressure in many aspects of my life and have struggled a lot with anxiety and therefore have lost my appetite). I do feel the doctor would have told me if he was worried. But at the same time you can never be sure and I keep thinking what if. I have no other symptoms.
To be honest, what I am very upset about is the fact that my partner also tested positive for HPV on her smear last year. I am concerned that I may have given her it as I may have contracted it when we broke up. She was not sexual active with anyone else during this period. Her smear was normal other than the HPV and she was asked to attend in 12 months which is coming up soon. However, I cannot help but feel horrendously guilty. What if she struggles to clear the virus, as I clearly have to, and then has to go through this because of me? I cannot live with myself if she has to go through all of this because of me.
I was wondering what the chances are that we will both clear this virus, considering i have probably had it for years now (and she too). I have read of people clearing it after their LLETZ. If my partner has cleared it, how do I protect her from getting it again? Is it actually easy to pass on during lesbian sex? Everything on the internet is contradictory. Or would the only way to be sure to abstain for a while whilst we both clear the virus?
Thank you in advance,