Probably shouldn't have waited 2.5 years without a pap?

After 9 years of colposcopies, biopsies, children born with specialists, laser surgery, more colposcopies, more biopsies... I finally had 2 clear results and told I could have a pap test from my regular dr... so, what do I do?  Well.. life was complicated, many changes, busy children, etc... watching tv one day (I'm thinking it was either "The Drs" or "Dr. Oz") telling me that I should go for a physical to take care of myself so that I can raise my children (or that's what I heard).. so I set up a physical. 

I was pretty excited not to hear back from the clinic until I get a call at work one day telling me that I have HGIL, severe. I was not excited anymore as it all starts again!!!


I was just dreading another scope and biopsy.. which then resulted in my cone biopsy... after all of this history, you can imagine I'm not expecting the best results.

I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst but now I have another 2 weeks to worry and prepare myself as my appointment is only on the 19th!  Of course I can't go sooner as I'm a single mother who can't afford anymore time off, I've used all my sick time for the 2 weeks off due to cone biopsy.


I can't even imagine how my life will have to change if it's not good news.  I don't want to loose my home.  I have a girl, 8 and a boy, 10, 3 dogs and a family 3 hours away. 

On a positive note, I'm enjoying reading some of the positive outcomes on here and yet reading the not-so-positive is a reality check also. 

I'm a patient person but at some level, I just want to know!