I swear I'm not stalking you on the forums! You had the same procedure as me so when I see that you have written something in a thread I'm looking at I have to have a read!
I've got to wait until the middle of May before I can start having sex again but if I'm honest I really don't mind! After having pain and bleeding after sex for a loong time, then a LLETZ, then a cancer diagnosis plus a pelvic exam and the trach and all the aches and pains I'm getting frankly they could sign me off until next May and I'll probably be ok with it.
I'm rather terrified about the whole process which is rather depressing so I get where you are coming from when you say it should be fun and natural and spontaneous. Problem is after having your bits and bobs bashed around by medical professionals and witnessing what happens after it's rather difficult to find the inclination to have anything else near there or even see it in a particularly nice light.
You've probably got all that going in your mind as well and you're probably on edge already and so your body is naturally tensing when it comes to sexy times. Now because there seems to be 'pressure' to get back to normal its probably compounding that stress further and making you feel even more on edge and tense. It's basically a viciously shit circle.
It's easy to say because I'm not there yet (and not actually looking forward to it at all) but take it easy on yourself. Your body has been through such a bashing and there is definitely going to be a psychological impact as well as a physical one.