So sorry you felt so low after your appointment (understandable!) but looks like you're already somewhat cheered up.
I 100% agree about being seen on the gyne ward - when I first went for my visit to the 'Bad News Room', I already knew I had CC from a call a couple of days before, and I was going to meet the Doc to have it all explained to me. I'm not stupid, I'd read up...I'd alrady told my husband that I would never be able to carry our children.
So, I arrive, the Doc is really busy doing his rounds - so they send me to his office to wait.... this is actually on the maternity ward where new mums and babies are! It's full of happy families, joyous Dad's, teeny weeny babies.... I wanted to die there and then, I couldn't step over the threshold onto the ward! My poor husband didn't know where to look & just held on to me. We were even asked if we were in the wrong place and were attending for a first pregnancy scan
I was lucky that a helpful and intelligent Nurse realised pretty quickly what was going on and she ushered us to a separate room. Where I proceded to pretent it was funny. Only looking back I see how cruel and horrific that experience really was. I understand the Docs are looking after all kinds of patients but sending girls who have cancer and expecting to lose their fertility to a maternity ward is unforgivable. So Em, I fully appreciate your anger and disgust at this!
As for the Nurse.... why do such negative people go in for a caring job?!? She's meant to make you understand that there's no guarentees, sure, but she's also supposed to put you at ease and in a positive frame of mind for your op - big FAIL here for her. I hope you've managed to find some of the other girls who can share their POSITIVE trach experiences with you. Can you research your particular surgeon's experience in this op maybe?
As the other girls here have said, you're a strong and smart girl, you're on the path to being rid of cervical cancer, you don't yet know how long the path is - but we'll all be holding your hand down in. You will do this. You will be well again. You will get control back in your life.
Remember, I'm nearby & if you want to chat or get a hug off someone removed from your family, or just have a rant/laugh/cry with someone who has a good idea how you're feeling, I'm just a phone call away.
Lisa x x x