Pre-Op.. now feeling abit fed up!

Hi ladies

Just returned from my pre-op in the huge scary hospital miles away from home… And well, now I’m scared!!

The nurse sat me down and explained what would happen and everything… And well now (excuse my language) I’m crapping myself!!
I was hoping she’d be abit positive about this Trachelectomy business but all I’ve come away with is
They HOPE to preserve my fertility, it’s a new op so not alot known and about all the complications from now and the rest of my time!!

Now I know I’m fortunate to be having it done… But I wish she’d of been abit more positive!

My lymph nodes better be clear because i don’t think I can take more negativity off the professionals!!!

Sorry to freak - I hope you’re all doing ok xx

And another thing that really upset me!! After she said everything about hopefully saving my fertility and telling me about the odds stacked against me… I was sat in a waiting room full of pregnant women!

Stupid woman!!! :frowning:

HI Em, 

You poor thing. I remember that I came out of my pre-op feeling pretty hacked off (and scared) as well. It is yet another step towards it and makes it ultra-real in your mind that this is actually happening. And I had the same thing with the room full of pregnant women, too. The department where I go for my check-ups is Gynaecology rather than Oncology and I sit in the same waiting room that I sat in when I was pregnant and I can see the door to the room where I had my scans, and I am surrounded by pregnant women - I hate it. When I was diagnosed and told that I'd have to have a radical hysterectomy, I came out of the room to a corridor full of pregnant women!

Horrible for you to have the nurse talk to you about the fact that there are no guarantees with a trachelectomy, to go about it in such an unhelpful and insensitive way; that must have been dreadfully upsetting for you. There are ways of going about these kinds of conversations and that's not it!

Try and do something nice for yourself. I know it sounds trivial in the scheme of things to suggest doing something like having a long, hot bubble bath and a large glass of wine, but you could probably do with something kind, gentle and nourishing right now. In the meantime, I'm sending you massive hugs. 

Much love, 

Annabel. x

Hey Em,

I just wanted to offer a bit of support, it’s rubbish that the nurse wasn’t very kind in her choice of words to you at a scary time. Although they have to warn you of certain things, they can definitely do it in a thoughtful manor!

(Children mentioned)
I had a bit of a similar but different situation today…I went to see my friend’s new baby which is in the same wing of the gynae clinic that I’ve been treated. I went alone and was so panicked, I couldn’t get past the fact that this is where all the bad stuff happened for me and there were corridors full of happy people. It was very surreal and odd. I felt ok after, but walking up to it and through it I could have easily ran the other way I felt so freaked out. I’m happily child free as I’ve never wanted them so it wasn’t an issue in that sense, it was more the having to be in that building again and what it represents to me.

Hope you are doing ok and like Annabel says, make sure you treat yourself over the next week :slight_smile:

Xxx

Thanks both - I felt I needed to have abit of a rant about it.
The way the nurse put it I felt like saying what’s the point then?! It was really strange. And it was disgusting that I was surrounded by pregnant women!! it would of killed me if I was going in for a hysterectomy… I might mention it when I go in next wed, made me really mad… There was a young lady with the same forms as me and she looked devastated :frowning:

Feeling abit overwhelmed about my op now, and I’ve been doing really well up till now. But I’m abit done with carrying on at work and stuff so I’m only doing one more day!
Got lots planned this weekend… My op will be here before I know it!! Hurry up & go away Wednesday!!!

Thankyou both again, your support is so valuable to me. I’d be really struggling if it wasn’t for this site! xxx

Oh Em, so sorry this happened. I know they have to prepare you for what might and might not happen, but it sounds like it wasn't done very well. The reality is that there are no guarantees, but they really are very good at this kind of treatment these days and there's nothing to be gained from getting too obsessed with what might go wrong. (Easy for me to say, I know).

I don't think they can get it right about where your treatment unit is located. I was treated in a unit in a specialist cancer hospital so no pregnant ladies, but lots of people looking very poorly indeed.  I can certainly remember being freaked out by the wig shop in the lobby the first time I went there - I hadn't really realised what sort of hospital I was going to.

Then when I got to colposcopy it was in the the same bit as a GUM clinic and I felt I was being stigmatised lumped in with people with STDs. Oh, what I would have given to just have the clap!

I'm not trying to be filippant or make light of your experience, I guess I'm just saying that at a time like this when we're so terrified we're hypersensitive and it's easy to focus on the negative. It's normal. x 

You have a few days and a lovely weekend before your surgery. My advice is to get out and about, treat yourself to something you enjoy or do something fun if you can. It will make the time go easier and later you'll be glad you made the most of the time.

Much love to you x

Oh Em, I'm also sending you a massive hug. Your nurse should have be more positive and compassionate towards you as it is a massive thing you are going through.  I think it might help to have a look at the success stories on here by the girls that have had trachs and have gone on to have babies! My consultant said that although the trach is a 'relatively' new procedure, he thinks a brilliant fertility saving option for CC patients if they meet the criteria.  And he has done a fair few of them. So I say stuff the negativity and if it has been successful for other women then there is no reason it shouldn't work for you! So, I know it is easy for others to say, but don’t let this get you down. Next week you and I will be shuffling around the ward (with our catheter bags attached, ha ha) a further step forward in our journeys. You can do this. Lots of Love, Tess xx  Smile

 

 

Rosehip you are COMPLETELY right!! I remember sitting in the colposcopy/GUM clinic and thinking I wish I just had an STI! Ha ridiculous. And yes if I’d been in the oncology dept I would of freaked too… I just don’t think I was prepared for it!

Today was my rock bottom of the week… So onwards and upwards again!! :slight_smile: … until the next! what a nutcase!! :wink: xxx

Mate, if you're a nutcase, you'll have no shortage of company at the funny farm. All of us will see you there.

This experience takes you into unknown territory and you wouldn't be human if it didn't scare the pants off you. The good news is that you sound like a smart lady with a good sense of humour and that will get you a long way, even if it also gets you some funny looks!

xxx

Tes thankyou for your positivity!! The thought of us shuffling around with our catheter bags really made me giggle!! :smiley: … I think I definately belong on the funny farm :wink: I cannot wait for a good few weeks to go by so we can check up on each other and compare catheter stories!

Once again ladies you have all surpassed yourselves and I feel so much better already! :slight_smile: xxx

Hee hee Em.  Parts of this are going to be tough I'm sure.  But I'm also sure we will both find things to laugh at along the way.  Take care lovely. xx

*Children/fertility mentioned*

Oh Em!

So sorry you felt so low after your appointment (understandable!) but looks like you're already somewhat cheered up.

I 100% agree about being seen on the gyne ward - when I first went for my visit to the 'Bad News Room', I already knew I had CC from a call a couple of days before, and I was going to meet the Doc to have it all explained to me. I'm not stupid, I'd read up...I'd alrady told my husband that I would never be able to carry our children.

So, I arrive, the Doc is really busy doing his rounds - so they send me to his office to wait.... this is actually on the maternity ward where new mums and babies are! It's full of happy families, joyous Dad's, teeny weeny babies.... I wanted to die there and then, I couldn't step over the threshold onto the ward! My poor husband didn't know where to look & just held on to me. We were even asked if we were in the wrong place and were attending for a first pregnancy scan Cry

I was lucky that a helpful and intelligent Nurse realised pretty quickly what was going on and she ushered us to a separate room. Where I proceded to pretent it was funny. Only looking back I see how cruel and horrific that experience really was. I understand the Docs are looking after all kinds of patients but sending girls who have cancer and expecting to lose their fertility to a maternity ward is unforgivable. So Em, I fully appreciate your anger and disgust at this!

As for the Nurse.... why do such negative people go in for a caring job?!? She's meant to make you understand that there's no guarentees, sure, but she's also supposed to put you at ease and in a positive frame of mind for your op - big FAIL here for her. I hope you've managed to find some of the other girls who can share their POSITIVE trach experiences with you. Can you research your particular surgeon's experience in this op maybe?

As the other girls here have said, you're a strong and smart girl, you're on the path to being rid of cervical cancer, you don't yet know how long the path is - but we'll all be holding your hand down in. You will do this. You will be well again. You will get control back in your life. 

Remember, I'm nearby & if you want to chat or get a hug off someone removed from your family, or just have a rant/laugh/cry with someone who has a good idea how you're feeling, I'm just a phone call away.

Lisa x x x