Post treatment

It seems ages ago since I was last in hospital but it’s actually less than a week!
I feel pretty normal at the moment, just very tired.
I had a bad day Saturday and was pretty weepy, I think it’s cos everyone was busy except for me. I’d planned on going out with my friend and the kids but she couldn’t make it so I invited a friend round for my son. Hubby wenter out, middle child went out and my youngest was playing with his friend. I had the dog and tv for company. Well Saturday afternoon tv is pretty rubbish so I swore there and then I would make sure I get out every day.
Yesterday we went for a long walk. I was knackered when we got home though. Calves were tired which was strange. It was lovely though but I was in bed early.
Today me n hubby took the dog for another long walk. Again, I was shattered when we got in so had some lunch. Then we did a shop and I came home and cooked tea from scratch. First time for weeks! It’s been easy to prepare stuff. I am really tired now though and ready for bed, even though I don’t go to sleep till late.
I’m hoping to go to toddler group in the morning to see my childminder colleagues. I think I will cry though :frowning: I’m so emotional at everything. It’s ridiculous.
Side effects, well, emotional, tiredness, still got a weird feeling in my throat but I think it’s Gerd. I’m going to the gp on Thursday as the nurses etc in the hospital I spoke to weren’t concerned but they didn’t look. I’ve convinced myself it’s something sinister so I want to get it checked. Back to symptoms, I’m having a lot of number 2s, sometime they just pop out when I’m having a wee. Thankfully I haven’t had any leakage any other times. I’m back to my normal diet including my fruit smoothies and starting to cut down on sugar. Healthy eating on the way. My pubic hair has virtually disappeared - all of a sudden! I actually don’t like it!
That’s about it. I’ve said to my husband that I’ve been sooooo lucky. I only hope I’m lucky enough that the treatment has worked, but why wouldn’t it??? I have my 6 week check March 31st.
I know I might develop some problems in the future but for now I’m clinging on to the belief that I may soon get back to normal.
I’ve got to say I am really really bored. I’ve never not worked. I only had 6 weeks maternity leave, hubby does the housework - he’s a bit upset that I’m taking back the role as chef, I don’t want to go out spending money cos my esa is only £73 a week and my money needs to go on the kids so they don’t miss out. There’s only so much tidying you can do and cos I’m tired, there is a limit to how much I can physically do.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that things are as good as can be expected x

Hi Philleepa,

Glad you're getting on as well as can be expected, I've been lucky to, getting through treatment without too many major problems and managing to do most of my usual things.

I'm now almost 2 months post treatment and physically I feel quite well, I get a few twinges here and there, and sometimes worry about them but try not to overthink too much. Menopause seems to have hit me now and I keep getting hot flushes, particularly at night!

Wishing you well.

Mel x

Hi Philleepa its good to hear you are continuing to recover each day and managing to do everyday things with your family. It helps to make you feel normal again after all your treatment and routine of travelling to hospital 5 days a week. I start my treatment on the 7th put back for more tests for my Kidneys. I will be having the Picc fitted soon just waiting on the appointment. I am trully sick of scans but suppose i better get use to them lol At least I have my Dots ready for action.

 I had a Ct scan on Friday I was breathless after the injection of contrast and felt ill when i got home i took a rash and pains in my chest. I went to see the doctor i had an allergic reaction a Gland in my Breast had swollen and was causing the pain (of course I thought i was having a Heart Attack). I had another appointment today in the nuclear Physics Department for GFR study (for Kidneys) they take blood hourly then half hourly I could go to have food & drink between appointments.

I noticed on my treatment plan i will have double Radiotherapy on days due to Bank Holidays I will go in the morning early then back later that day. Its alot of travelling but needs must I can understand why your at a bit of a loss at the minute as all the appointments take over your life and then when its over its like what now. Its good to hear your meeting up with your childminding friends for a catchup it will do you good. Thanks for all your helpful tips for starting treatment I really appreciate it. Lots of Love Keep posting xxxxxxxxxx

Gawd kumagill,  you're really being put through it at the moment aren't you!  If there is any justice in the world your treatment will be good to you and you will be well through it. Your gfr test was slightly different to mine. I think I had 2 hour gaps between blood tests. At least that's something else done with now. I'm glad my rambling has helped you prepare for your treatment. I really hate seeing the dots. It's only the one on the front I can see, I'm hoping my pubic hair will grow back asap and cover it. I WILL be the yeti!!!! Some people have proper tattoos over them to commemorate being a survivor.  I just want to forget this ever happened. 

I didn't end up meeting my friends this morning.  I read something on the facebook page about hpv that causes cervical cancer also cause some oral cancers. Well of course I have this thing in my throat so I managed to convince myself that it's in my throat.  So after a sleepless night I made a Dr appointment 

I cried when i told the Dr why I was there. He was so good with me. He couldn't see anything but he's arranging for me to go to see an war,  nose and throat specialist asap. Also I had a blood test to check my iron levels, thyroid and something else. 

Logically I think it's just a chemo side effect. It might be a sore in my throat  (I know people get them in their mouth ) or Gerd.  It feels like a blob of phlegm in my throat and it moves from side to side which I don't think cancer does. I'm also telling myself that the chemo I had would be killing any cancer as we speak, even if it was in my throat   the Dr agreed but I don't know if he just wanted to put my mind at ease.  

Anyway,  typically the feeling isn't as bad as it was yesterday but I think the more you think about something,  the worse it is  

After the Dr's I felt a bit easier and did some shopping. Got my easter eggs in and some other bits. Been busy most of the day and that felt good. Think I've increased my fibre slightly too much though. I'll leave that to your imagination. 

Thanks for listening again. 

We're a good support for one another x

Hi Philleepa,

I'm nearly 2 wks post treatment & finding it difficult to not be bored at home but at the same time if I go for a walk with my dog, Hugo, I'm shattered & have to go to bed early (as in 7.30pm) so missing out on family time, I physically can't keep my eyes open. 

I am still suffering daily with cystitis symptons which don't seem to be improving so I hope this isn't an indication to permanent damage : (  you give me hope that things will improve. Waiting on my 6wk appt to come through....I'm still having terible thoughts about the treatment not working at all, I know it stems from the 1st 20 Radio & 4 chemo not making any changes to the tumour size so to get my head around 10 focused radio & 2 extra chemo destroying the tumour just doesn't make any sense to me..??? No-one else seems to have had the same sort of experience & I can't get any reassurance from anywhere. I've only seen my Mac nurse 3 times, day of diagnosis Nov 15,, 1st ever appt with oncologist Dec 15 & happened to bump into her at a support group I found myself last week. Does anyone actually see or speak to their Mac nurse without having to ring them up everytime?

I guess I'm having a bad time at the mo, sorry for ranting on. I feel very alone in my thoughts & fear of the future, teary, I understand completely that you feel emotional. 

I started using my dialators the other day, omg didn't think it would be painful...aiming for 3 times a week for minimum of 5 mins. I know it's important to do it but so very very sore today after doing it Tues!! 

Kumagill you are certainly going through it at the moment, hats off to you for coping & staying focused to get through it. Sending you a massive hug xxx 

Sorry I have been a doom & gloom today, just can't see the wood for the trees at the mo ( 1 of my Mum's sayings) 

Please continue to stay strong & fight ladies, you have become an important part of my daily life & a source of support, friendship & I admire you all.

Let's hope tomorrow is a happier day & I can see beyond the branches...

Much Love xxx 

Hi designeeflo,  yes I'm tired and in bed early most nights too. I can't sleep when I'm in bed though. It's my body that's tired, not my mind. I've had a busy day today though, cleaning, cooking and catching up on paperwork.  I quite enjoyed being at home but I didn't manage to take the dog for a walk. It's been so cold and I couldn't face it. 

I have the same terrible thoughts as you but we have both been told it's curable so we need to focus on that.  I've never been assigned a mac nurse as far as I know.  There was a nurse at hospital I was diagnosed at but not a mac one. Could you maybe speak to your gp?  Mine was brilliant yesterday,  just to talk to.

I've not started my dilators yet. Got that to look forward to! 

I'm also feeling very emotional, a lot of it is to do with my sister who died 2 months before my diagnosis. I font feel I've mourned properly for her or been around enough to support her husband or children.  I'm changing that now though. I also need to support my mum too. She's had a hard time, I'm finding it hard though, I hate seeing her upset but she is trying to be brave. I want to cry when I see her but I can't cos it will hurt her. It's my sisters birthday next week which is going to be a hard day because it's the first one we don't get to wish her happy birthday.. 

Sorry I'm rambling too. 

I'm happy to message you my number so you can text me if you are ever feeling low and need a shoulder x

 

Hi Philleepa & Desingnerflo thankyou for your kind words and encouragement it means alot to me. You have both been through hell for different reasons and also because of Cervical Cancer and all the devastation it brings. I think the worrying can be the hardest part to deal with it sort of takes over your life especially waiting for test results. When I had a PET scan a few weeks ago I had myself convinced i was riddled with cancer the doctor said the scan was Satisfactory lol I find that if i go and speak to my GP they explain things clearly and are reassuring.

I will be keeping everything crossed for you that you get some good news you both deserve it I will be thinking about you both. Lots of love xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Designerflo,

I developed cystitis 2 weeks after my treatment and had it for about 10 days, it was horrible and I was thinking the worst but it finally eased off and has been ok since.

I worry very much that my treatment hasn’t worked and often have breakdowns. I had a large tumour so I’m very scared. I won’t know any results until April.

I’m using the dilators and getting on ok but I’ve only got to the second size, I find that enough for me and I definately can’t get to the next size yet!

Mel x