Post LLetz - just need to vent!

Hi, I'm 29 and I had my colposcopy appointment on Friday and had lletz treatment there and then to remove the cells. My spear results came back the day before so I had no time to prepare and found the experience a little traumatising emotionally but not painful, just uncomfortable! Smear results were 'high grade pre cancerous cells'.

After the treatment, the doctor didn't really say much other than what to do post treatment and I asked if he can tell if it's bad and he said 'there is no evidence of cancer'. Which reassured me at the time but I realise he can't tell 100% just from looking. So now I am 3 days post treatment and I'm just struggling dealing with the wait for results. I know most peoples do come back clear, but I can't help have that sick feeling that it could come back as bad news.

There are just a million things going through my mind, one minute I'm fine and the next I panic and I guess I just wanted to know that what I am feeling is normal. I'm kicking myself because my smear was 18 months overdue (I will NEVER miss a smear again in my life), but can't help blame myself that this could all have been prevented. 

any words of encouragement will be appreciated! The stories on here so put my mind at ease, but I'm just a bit nervous. I feel like I have a bit of health anxiety anyway, and this feels like it could make it a lot worse! I also have lower back pain which I am putting down to the treatment because I never had that before and just feel drained from the whole experience! 

Hello Rachael I think it's perfectly normal to feel anxious waiting for results. Once you have facts it's easier to deal with them; it's important to give yourself time to heal mentally and physically from the lletz. When you are feeling up to it try to keep busy to take your mind off your anxiety but maybe set aside half an hour a day to write down your worries. Try to get at least 10 minutes fresh air every day. I can recommend phoning Jo's helpline for a reassuring chat. Remember you have done the right thing to look after your health. Well done for that!! Give yourself a pat on the back! Happy Christmas!!!

A x

Thank you A! Waiting is definitely the hardest part because your mind just goes to worst case scenario, and then I feel positive about the news, it's just a rollercoaster! 

I know worrying about it won't help so I will try to take my mind off of it until I know. I think I just expected to know more after the lletz, but it doesn't always work that way.

 

thank you for your tips though, I will definitely get out in the fresh air! I am recovering okay, I feel fine during the day but once I sit down in the evening I do feel some period like cramps that come and go, hopefully this will all ease as time goes by. 

I hope you have a lovely Christmas! X

Thank you! I hope you feel better soon. Remember you are not alone. There are lots of us on here who understand that rollercoaster. A GP told me that colooscopy is just another part of the screening process and that made me feel a bit better. Thousands of women every year have treatment for cell abnormalities but because most people don't talk about it it's easy to feel alone. Hope the lletz results when they come through will give you more peace of mind. Take care A x

I completely agree, it's not spoken about enough, so when it happens to you, you automatically think something I wrong. I posted on my socials and so many people spoke up and said they had the same thing, which did reassure me and I am sure all will be okay! But until those results are in I think I will naturally worry. 

Thank you so much though, you've been a great help! I see lots of posts which don't get replies, so thank you for replying to mine x