Positive news!!!

Sorry for the lateness of the post.Got my results today and ALL CLEAR!!! I can't describe the relief and am not sure its fully hit home...Be in no doubt that the treatment is well planned and individually tailored and you are in good hands. To all those in treatment, stay positive and you have every chance and I wish you all well. Am here for all of you lovely ladies and hope  I can give something back xx





Hi andreac,

I’ve read alot of your posts , you are an amazing and inspirational person, I am so pleased for you that you all clear, well done you! You have helped dilute my bad feeling about my situation and made me feel alot more positive, thank you. And a big congratulations again xxxx

Yippee! I've been checking all day! I'm so happy for you. If you're anything like me you'll be shattered tomorrow after such a day of news so take it all in :)

High Five!!!



Yay ... yay .... Yay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excellent news - really pleased for you Hun ! Well done ....

massive hugs

x x x 

Andrea I'm SO pleased for you. Like Jo, I kept checking back before I went out this evening and the first thing I've done when I got home was check the site! I looked at my watch at 4pm and thought to myself, "Andrea will have her results now." I've just shed a little tear of joy - I can't describe how pleased and relieved I am for you - what wonderful news. You are fantastic. Well done. 

Lots of love and massive over-excited hugs!

Annabel. Xx

That's fabulous news. Your posts have been really helpful to me.

All the best x x


Fantastic news!! I have kept checking today and was going to PM you this morning,them my husband  checked this morning before he went to work ( 6am!) & told me your news!!! 

I am over the moon for you!! You have helped me so much on here...& you are always there for everyone.

Im playing the waiting game now,news like this makes it more bearable!!

So so happy for you...you deserve it!!!!

Lots of love

Karen xxxxxx

Great news, so happy for you, good news on here is a boost for everyone.

Wondeful news Andrea - I still clearly remember the day i got that news (almost) three years ago. Enjoy it!

Take care and all the best with your recovery.


Lots of love

Louise xx

Wonderful News ! Welcome to the other side !!

I am delighted for you andrea.

Best wishes and Thankyou for all your posts, I think you have helped far more on here than you realise including me xx

Look forward to  life with your family and friends with joy back in your heart after a long journey  xx

Keep in touch

Kath xx

Brilliant news Andrea! I am delighted for you.

All the best

Lou xxx

Awww thankyou all so much for your kind comments and also for all the help and support you have given me over the months.  I dont think it has fully sunk in yet to be honest but waking up this morning was the first time in 6 months that I had not felt that dread in my stomach.  Yes there are no guarentees with this disease and we are reminded of that every day but this is a huge step in the right direction and a slap in the face for cancer.  I am still very emotional and cant quite believe I have managed to come through this - I feel so fortunate! I am sticking around to offer as much help and support I can as this diagnosis will always be a huge part of me and who I am.  If anyone is doing the Jo's walk in Leeds on 15th June I will be there with the biggest smile on my face!!  Monkey, did I read somewhere that you are involved?  For all you ladies who are still on this rollercoaster, I hope you can take some strength from my story and that this keeps you going on the difficult and dark days.

Keep smiling and take care all you lovely ladies


Since I started this nightmare 6 months ago, I have followed closely the stories of about 6 women all with roughly the same diagnosis and the same time frame including yourself. With your result today that makes all 7 of us in the clear for now. I haven't cried for myself at all during this process, but today I want to cry with joy for all of us. Absolutely fantastic result. Long may it last. Party on! XXX

was looking for the news yesterday!

Am so so chuffed for you, enjoy the feeling and make sure you have a proper celebration - you deserve it


Hello Andrea.....what a fantastic news, so very happy for you.

Hi Andrea,

Can’t tell you how pleased I was to read this. Congratulations to you and your family. Happy dans time :slight_smile:

Without wanting to bring anyone down, I will say that I have found this time to be one of the most tricky. Other people keep telling me how delighted I must be to have had successful treatment, and I am, but I am still coming to terms with all that has happened and what that means in the long term and I guess I’m grieving a little. I know you always present a positive face to the world and don’t like to worry people, but don’t forget us if you should have a wobble. There is no need for a brave face here.

But forget all that - time to celebrate! xxx

Aww thanks all!

Rosehip - I completely get what you are saying and although this was the best possible news, I do now feel a little "strange".  The relief is the best bit but I'm not jumping through hoops like people probably expect I should be - have probably cried more in the last few days than I have through all of it.  My side effects and body image haven't just changed overnight just because of getting "ALL CLEAR" - physically everything feels the same despite now knowing the cancer has gone...I just feel the same as I have done for weeks from side effects, there's no magic switch is there? I just dont know whether my brain has clicked on to "All Clear mode" because my body is still so traumatised to an extent?  Does that sound really mad? I think as the weeks go by I will feel more excitement, but for now  I am quietly happy and "at peace" as a burden of worry has been lifted but the full news has maybe not quite sunk in.  Perhaps I need counselling lol!  Sorry for the ramble but cant quite articulate my feelings.

Off for a spa break this weekend with the girls so am really looking forward to that.  Hope everyone is ok


No, I think you articulate it really well. It is a weird, mixed bag of feelings.

Of course we’re relieved that the treatment has been successful, but we have still been through a traumatic experience that has left us emotionally and physically changed. I also saw too much in hospital of what might happen if it comes back to be able to relax completely. It’s big deal and a little post traumatic stress is to be expected!

I have actually arranged to see a psychologist at my local Maggie’s Centre next week because of all of these mixed feelings. I feel like this experience has dredged up all sort of stuff, particularly to do with my body image, which I am finding difficult to deal with, so I am hoping some professional support might help.

I see no shame in getting help to deal with the brain stuff - it’s no more embarrassing than getting help with the fanny stuff really. I am happy to try out any kind of help that’s going. I will have been laid bare completely by the end of this! Will let you know how I get on.

Enjoy your spa break - sounds like a mighty fine idea! xxxx

Andrea and Rosehip, 

When I got my histology results, people expected me to be jumping through hoops. Several people told me I could 'get back to normal' now. Others remarked what a relief it must be to be able to 'put all that behind' me. The reality is I felt pretty flat, actually. Just a sort of 'ok' was my response. That is not to say I wasn't relieved - I was - but cancer is far more complex than that and nothing had properly sunk in at that time.   

People tend to think of grieving as being something that is to do with bereavement. But actually, it is just to do with loss. Even if you survive cancer, there is a great deal of loss involved and it really isn't unusual at all once you've got the 'all clear' to enter into a grieving process. I know I have been and still am, grieving. This is not to say I am miserable - I am genuinely positive and excited about the future, and I certainly have those moments where I am filled with utter joy and gratitude at simply being alive (I had one yesterday morning when I was sitting at my desk at home and I could hear the birds singing outside and it was amazing to me), but other times I am tired, irritable, have difficulty sleeping, anxious, worried, cross, have difficulty making decisions, can be forgetful and very teary. I also have days where I don't want to be on my own and other days where the last thing I want to do is see another human being because I'm fed up with all of them!! Haha! Grieving is difficult and complicated and everyone experiences it slightly differently, but it's a completely natural and normal part of having cancer. Also, when we enter the grieving process - for whatever reason - it brings up other things from the past that we haven't resolved. So, for example, if someone has suffered a close bereavement ten years ago and never allowed themselves to grieve, then something happens to them (such as cancer) which triggers the grieving process, the unresolved grief also makes itself known and demands to be thought about. I've heard of lots of cases of people finding that cancer is making them think about all sorts of things from the past that seem on the surface to be completely unrelated, but actually it's the feelings surrounding these things that are similar, rather than the things themselves. 

As far as other people's reactions go, the fact is that people who haven't had cancer, simply don't know what it's like to have cancer. I think it really is as simple as that. I let people off the hook for this because before I had cancer, I didn't know what it was like either - and I am someone who has known several people who've had cancer and I nursed my father through it, who eventually died in my arms, but I know now that I still had no idea what it was like to be the person who had it. In order to cope with life on a day to day basis we allow ourselves the illusion of concrete beliefs - "I will retire to France when I'm 60," or "I will get my Ph.D," or "I will grow old with my husband and he will grow old with me," for example - cancer challenges our belief in all of these things and we are faced with the reality that actually, there is only one thing in life that is absolutely concrete, and that thing can happen just like that, at any time, irrespective or who we are or what plans we've got. It makes us realise that there are lots of things in life over which we have no control, and that can be frightening and takes time to adjust to. This new perspective can also change parts of who you are, and you may find that people around you take time to catch up - this has certainly happened with me - lots of things about me changed very very quickly after getting a cancer diagnosis. You might even need time to catch up with yourself (if that makes sense!) because as we often say on here, cancer is a roller coaster and when you've got it, you're dealing with all the 'stuff' of it, you're frightened, and you don't really have the time or space to think about how it's actually changing you as a person. You start to realise this a bit more, afterwards, I think.

It's certainly true that there will be people who now expect you to be full of the joys of Spring, skipping through pretty meadows with a renewed zest for the life you are ever so grateful for, completely happy just not to be dead. There is a really romanticised view of cancer in society that really doesn't help with this. We're expected to be good little cancer patients and be a good example of how precious life is by always being happy, grateful and never complaining. Set against the backdrop of a very real and serious threat to one's life, often being left with lifelong physical issues as a result of the cancer and/or the treatment and the massive changes it can bring to how someone feels about themselves, their own body and a number of their relationships, this view seems nothing short of ridiculous to me. Life is not a Hollywood movie. Society is also intolerent of uncomfortable or inconvenient feelings and I think one of the reasons other people sometimes don't like you not fitting in with the received stereotype of a 'cancer survivor' is because it makes them very uncomfortable and would make them have to think about things that might scare them. Just as cancer challenges our concrete ideas of the world, being confronted by someone telling you that actually, it's not as clear cut being 'cured' and that it's a lot more complicated than that, is just too scary for some people. 

There's a lot to come to terms with around cancer. It's bound to take time. Received clinical opinion is not to make any major decisions within the first two years of grief (major decisions are regarded as things like divorce, moving to another country, all of those sorts of things) simply because grieving is so complicated and emotions can be so wide ranging. I think the best chance we have of coming to terms with what's happened to us is to allow ourselves the time, space, patience and compassion to feel however we feel, to look after ourselves with kindness and not martyr ourselves to what other people expect us to be, and to spend gentle and kind time with those who mean the most to us and won't judge us for our feelings. There is a lot of talk about 'strength' and 'bravery' around cancer and unfortuately this is often associated with someone being eternally 'up' in the face of difficulty, rather than someone bursting into tears in the sanitary towel aisle in Tesco and being sick of spending 50% of the day trying to go to the loo. Actually I think the strongest thing you can do is to just let yourself be you. 

With much love, 

Annabel. x

Oh, you ladies really are amazing and I'm so glad I found you all through this site.  Rosehip and Annabel, you have made me realise that it really is ok to feel the way I do right now...such lovely, intelligent advice and perspectives!!  You really have hit the nail on the head!  Rosehip, I really hope it helps to speak to someone and do let us know how it goes...lots of love to you and thanks for taking the time to share your feelings and experience xx