Please please could I have words of reassurance- anxiety!

Hi,

When I was 17 I went for my first smear I had irregular bleeding and it came back abnormal which then turned out to be an inflamed cervix.

I had one at 20 and one done at 23 both normal and I'm due for one this year the trouble I have is I am now older and have children and I'm incredibly anxious for the results before I even have the test done, my last smear I was bad before not eating properly, not sleeping etc but this time I'm worse I'm suffering with panic attacks, Palpitations, lack of sleep and it's affecting me in work all because I've convinced myself something is wrong and I'm petrified of the results before I've even had my appointment letter!

I suffer with fertility issues also and have been told I have a polycystic appearance on my ovaries and I don't ovulate naturally after I came off the Clomid which didn't work for me last year I had the slightest bit of spotting and also about 2 months ago I think I did actually ovulate myself as it was mid cycle I had the pelvic cramps lower back ache and spotted for about half a day then it stopped and my period started two weeks later.. I'm trying to be rational but I've obviously gone onto Google and I literally sat there and cried as the worst case scenario always pop up first.

I also keep feeling like a dull ache in my cervix (if that makes sense) especially when I'm on my period.. 

this anxiety has also made me to scared to have sex which has had a massive impact on my relationship as I won't go near my partner and I'm too scared to be happy just in case something bad happens (this is how severe my anxiety is)

no one would think I would be in this much of a state to have a routine test done as I put on such a confident outgoing show and still go out and socialise but rely on lots of alcohol to have a good time then when I'm alone I'm googling symptoms and driving myself crazy.

 

I'm honestly just looking for a bit of reassurance and was wondering if I'm the only to get this worked up before the test is even done?!

I've made myself a doctors appointment tomorrow to speak about my anxiety and hopefully she can rationalise my thinking a bit.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

First up Thanrb well done for keep having your smear tests even though you are so worried about them nobody finds it a pleasant experience!!! And also you have done the right thing to make an appointment about your anxiety when it is impacting on your life it needs to be addressed. You seem to have had a few gynaecological issues over the last few years and many of your symptoms appear to be related to hormone problems rather than cervical cancer but you will only know after your smear. Make sure when you go to your gp you discuss all your feelings with them and please please stay off google, the combination of google and anxiety just ramp up the anxiety. Good luck with your appointment and your smear and take care x

Thank you for your reply 

my Gp has given me some tablets to ease the anxiety symptoms mainly the palpitations.

 

she agreed that my symptoms are probably hormone related and as I was on Clomid last year that can also affect things she also said that the spotting was more than likely ovulation which is common.

 

she wants me to go back next week and has also said if it puts my mind at ease she will take a look at my cervix.

She thinks i have a lot of pelvic congestion and has suggested seeing a osteopath.

 

fingers crossed x