Please help!

Hi all I'm new to this site.

I really need some advise. I had my first smear done August 2011 and it came back mild changes and Hpv.

I had to make and appointment for a colposcopy which was only about a week later.....right this is where I get embarrassed...but I had the colposcopy and the Dr said he wanted to take a biopsy and I literally had a panick attack. It was horrible. In the ended I couldn't let him take a biopsy this is only because I am a big jessy and am scared of most things so please don't let me put you off.

so I opted for treatment (even though the biopsy would have determined whether I needed it) i had full loop treatment and a results letter stating the abnormal cells were not cancerous. I had to return to the hospital after 6 months for a check up. Well when I did it didn't go well :( I found it impossible to tolerate the speculum examination. I have developed severe secondary  vaginisum from this whole experience, where my muscles literally clamp down so hard the exam is impossible. The Dr was happy to   Discharge me back to my gp for a more relaxed smear...but again this didn't happen absolutely nobody was listening to me I need help but more importantly I need to be checked up.

about a month ago I had very minimul spotting and I panicked I went to the Drs the next day and broke down. He wrote to the gyny dep at my hospital and suggested I had the smear done under general. Ths seems extreme I know but it's the only way at the moment. This is booked for the 6th March. I'm petrified I have left it too late and they are going to find something. :( 

i know how important It was to be checked up after my treatment but it was physically impossible. Even at my 6 month check up after treatment when they couldn't examine me one nurse said what about under general...the other said no they won't do that. So for the last 12 months i have thought that wasn't an option but only to find it was?? I'm gutted I'm so anxious as I have had some spotting and aches and pains downstairs I feel like something is going on. 

thank you for reading. Xxxx 

Hiya cat,

im sorry to here that you find the procedure so distressing, it's not a nice thing to have done and I can completely understand why. It's great that they are going to do it under anaesthetic.

try not to worry to much, I too had spotting etc and mine turned out at first to be erosion of the cervix and now they just think my cervix is delicate and ruptures. 

Good luck 



First of all, I want to say how pleased I am that you came to this site - I think it's just what you need! :-) Secondly, please don't be embarrassed - you have nothing to be embarrassed about in either the procedures themselves or your anxiety and panic about them - I completely understand. 

I'm pleased to hear that you will be having your smear under a general anaesthetic on 6th March, as I think having this done will set your mind at rest. I know it's very hard not to worry about the results, and obviously I cannot make you any guarantees, but it might reassure you to know that cervical cancer tends to be a very slow growing cancer which develops over many years, so the chances of mild changes in 2011, for which you had a loop, to then develop into cancer only 18 months later is extremely unlikely. You have been very sensible in getting your symptoms checked out - it is always wise to do so - but bear in mind there are lots of reasons for symptoms such as these and cancer is one of the rarer causes. Give yourself some credit, too - you have gone back to the doctor to sort this out, knowing in the back of your mind that you'd need to see a gynaecologist, and you've done that despite your anxiety and panic - that's really brave! 

Keep coming back here when you want and need to, and keep us updated on things. 

Sending you a big hug!

Annabel. x

Hi both. Thank you for your replys. It means a lot knowing you have read my story. You are amazing women :)

my anxiety got the better of me and I was at the drs yesterday. She has really reassured me about my general worries. It's just a really difficult time. It's bad enought going through the procedures but to then develop a disorder which is stopping me being checked up is utterly heartbreaking. I feel so helpless at times and fear something ad will happen and it's all my fault.

fingers crossed the 6th will be ok. i will keep you posted and thank you again for your kind words. Xxxx

None of what you're going through is your fault. I know it's really hard, but try to be kind to yourself and not give yourself a hard time about how you feel. And yes, please do keep us posted. 

Annabel. x

Just giving an update. So yesterday I had my smear done under general. Thank god!! When I came round the dr said everything looked fine but as with any smear I will have to wait for results. I also had been bleeding when I came round which I wasn't expecting really. But the dr said this was normal as because as I was under general they were more thorough....basically more rough...I had to ask over and over again if the bleeding was normal as I never bled with my smears when awake? But they kept reassuring me this was normal?? I hope it is. I just need to get the results now....praying they will normal this time. Xxxx


I'm so pleased this is now out of the way for you - I can hear the relief in you!

You can be really reassured by what the doctor said to you - if he'd had any concerns of anything sinister, then there is no way he would have said to you thatt everything looks fine. He's right about the bleeding - nothing to worry about at all. I always used to spot with my smears - and that was almost every time with them being normal results and with the nurse having taken the smear very gently. As he said, under a GA they can afford to be a bit more 'thorough' with the sampling because you can't feel them doing it, so you're bound to have some bleeding.

Keep us updated. Did they say a couple of weeks for the results?

Annabel. x

Thank you, I am so relieved its done finally after 12 months of feeling helpless I can just start to relax. It's funny but the needle for the GA hurt more than any smear I've had but its just on the psychological level.

they said about two weeks for results but I'm feeling ok. This site is wonderful. my problems are no where near what other women are going through but there is so much support for anyone. My boyfriend is supportive but it's just not the same as on here. Thank you xxxx keep you posted