Please help me

No I’ve not had a tattoo. It was a dye one though. Is there another bloody CT after 2 CTs?? If anything it doesn’t sound very cost effective :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Out of interest, where about is the tattoo?

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You need a CT planning scan to plan your radiotherapy accurately. It’s 3 tiny pinprick tattoos, one on each side of your hips and one above your pubic bone.

God. More waiting :frowning:

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@Frenchie aww I know the waiting is hard, it feels like it’s taking forever, and your forever waiting for scans and tests but they need to get the planning right, especially because the radio is targeted at an area close to other organs such as your bladder and bowel. You’ll get the tattoos the same day as the planning scan, and like I said I was given a treatment start date before this and they worked back from that. I also signed all of the consent forms and met my full team on the same day as the planning scan. Xxx

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I just feel like I’m living in hell. Everything is at a snails pace. Bank holiday has cocked everything up. They only meet as an MDT on a Thursday, so do I need to wait for them all to discuss this? It’s excruciating and I’m struggling to live at all. I’m using all my energy to try and put a face on for the children. It’s killing me inside. I’ve had no real information apart from it’s stage 2a, I’ll need radio and chemo and brachy, no start date, nothing. Just that I need a PET CT and I haven’t been called about that either. It’s a total nightmare.

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The doctors need full information before they make your treatment plan, and that includes scans and waiting for results.

Everything goes to the mdt to be discussed by radiologists, oncologists etc-that happens for every patient.

It’s horrible having to wait, but I think we’ve all experienced that-nothing happens straight away.

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I first went to the GP in January :frowning: it’s been a living hell since then. It’s got too much for me. I don’t think I can do this any more. I just want to be put out of my misery

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I see a lot of the ladies in the forum doing their best to try and help you with kindness and compassion and explaining how they have dealt with this, how it’s possible to get through treatment.

However, ultimately only you will be able to help yourself to get through this or know whether you want to agree to have treatment.

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@Frenchie i totally understand, my treatment was messed up with Christmas and new year but please be assured, they need to get it right & the MDT involves loads of different specialists from each area (radio, oncology, nursing) etc. it’s hard waiting because you just want this horrible thing taken care of. It’s overwhelming and you will have good days and rubbish ones. But, they will be working towards your treatment and want to help you. Keep thinking about the positives you can find in the day and be kind to yourself. My mantra when I got overwhelmed was “I’m having a bad hour, not a bad day”. Seriously consider getting in touch with a counselling service through macmilan or your GP they can help you xxxx

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Thank you so much for your kindness. I’m struggling hard with the waiting and the total unknown. I can’t answer anyone’s questions, I can’t plan anything for my kids this week because I don’t know when my scan is. We’ve got a caravan booked with all their cousins next week and we’re meant to go on the Monday after my appointment so I’ve got to find care for them. I wish someone would call me and said this will happen, then this, and then this. Then I can stop living in this state of total cluelessness. I can also then plan what I’m going to tell my daughter.

I’ve got an appointment with the GP tomorrow morning and an assessment with the wellbeing service tomorrow evening over the phone but I’m not sure what they’re going to be able to do for me realistically. I’ll see though.

@Frenchie it will all come together soon, and you’ll be given a schedule of dates of your treatment. It just feels all over the place when you don’t know what’s happening when and you just want a start date to get it all moving.

You will find that everyone wants answers from you and when you don’t know you can’t give them any. I found having a WhatsApp group with the close friends and family in to give updates easier than making calls, and being clear that there will be days when I needed space. How lovely you have some time booked with your family, that is something really nice to look forward to, keep focused on that. Remember this awful thing doesn’t define us, and we are still the same as we were before it and we will be again! Xxx

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You clearly adore your little ones, and you want to be here for them in the future. Whether you’d gone to the doctors or not the cancer was there - but by taking control of your own health, in going to get checked, you have the knowledge and therefore the power to kick this and get back to your ‘normal’ life of being a lovely mum, wife and friend.

It’s so so tough, and everybody is different. But try and reframe it in your mind - the treatment isn’t happening to you ; you are seeking this treatment as part of taking the power and control back from cancer over your own body and your own life.

Look to a milestone at a time eg ‘xyz appt is in ten days time. Then I’ll find out the next step’. Trying to look down the full future path of everything can be overwhelming - you’re trying to take in weeks or months of plans in one go. Chunk it out, get to the next step, then the next one.

Do make sure you’ve told all of your team that you’re struggling to cope mentally. They will help you. You will absolutely not be the first nor the last. And keep reaching out on this forum, it’s just a brilliant source of support.

You can do it! We’re all rooting for you xxx

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Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them.

I hope one day I look back and it seems like a tiny time in my life.

The GP prescribed me something today to help with sleep which also had a side effect of helping anxiety/depression but that doesn’t kick in until a few weeks. Hopefully by that time I’ll know what is happening anyway. I don’t feel depressed, I just feel like I’m in a really awful life-changing situation.

It will probably never seem like a ‘tiny’ thing , but it will absolutely be in the past, done, you’ll have gotten through it and honestly you WILL feel like an absolute Beyonce-level hero for having gotten through it :slight_smile:

One step at a time lovely, that’s all you need to do x

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Never had en enema. Never had to poop on command. Did need a full bladder to protect my insides from radiation treatment though.

Fact is you are allowed to refuse any treatment. You can say no to it all. But know that when you do the outcome is you won’t survive.

You can do this. Is it fun, no, but you can do this. If nor for yourself, for your babies

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