Please help, I am losing my mind with fear!

Hi to anyone who is out there,

My name is Rosanna I am 28 and I am so so scared. I recently had my second smear test (first one was all normal at age 25) and the nurse told me I had cervial ectropian/erosion but said it was not as big as some she has seen. One week later I recieved a letter telling me I had moderate Dyskariois! I went in to turmoil and sobbed, I have just watched my mother die a slow and painful death due to cancer and it was all too much!

I re-read the letter again and again and the only thing that was standing out was the word CANCER, infact it stated 'it is unlikely you have cancer but...' I was in such a state and immediatly started googling and reading all the horro stories out there.

I was booked in for a colposcopy 4 weeks later but just couldnt wait and begged for them to squeeze me in, thankfully I was given an appointment the following week- I had the colp and Diathermy loop excision/Lletz done at the same time. The doctor didnt even tell me he was going to do it just asked if I was feeling brave :( It wasnt too bad mainly just embarassing but everything went in a blurr. He handed me a piece of paper and said to expect the results in 8 weeks time.

I am totally stressed right now as you can imagine I really need to call my mum but she died last year I have started taking st Johns wort but to no avail.

 

It has now been 2 weeks since the Lletz and I am still getting watery discharge, I feel totoally alone and confused! What results am I getting in 8 weeks? What is going on? I thought the Lletz was a treatment not a diagnostic tool. I dont exactly know what to expect from these results.

I feel sad the Doctor went straight ahead with the Lletz after now reading about possible link to premature birth but also very happy as he may have saved my life.

As you may have noticed from my erratic writting style I am absolutly terrified - and no I dont share with friends I am not particulally open with privat ematters and have no other family.

I cant quite get my head around whats happened?

Should I be scared - What should I expect.

 

Thank you all for reading my story.

Cry

Hi Rosanna, 

Sorry you have had such a bad experience, theu should definately have asked befor going ahead with the LLETZ, but its done now so try not to dwell on it. With regards to the 8weeks wwait the cervix they remove during LLETZ gets sent to the lab to confirm/dispute the moderate etc diagnosis. I had the discharge following the procedure for around 3 weeks,  however make sure you get checked out if it begins to smell. Hope I have answered a few of your questions.

 

Mica.

Hi Rosanna, i am the same age as you and like you my second smear was abnormal which was a huge shock! I'm so sorry about the loss of your mum, i can't imagine what you are going through. It is no wonder that this has shaken you so much.

Firstly, your smear showed moderate dyskariois, this means there are some moderate cell changes. The changes are not severe. Even ladies with severe changes are highly unlikely to have cancer so i'm sure you won't have it. They do the LLETZ at the first appointment just to save you going back, i guess they think they may as well whilst they are down there! Premature birth isn't likely, so don't worry about that.

The LLETZ is a treatment, but they also biopsy what they have removed, to confirm the smear diagnosis, and to check that it has clear margins and they got it all. My doctor said the treatment is nearly 100% successful, he actually said 93% to me, but I have glandular changes which are harder to get than moderate dyskariois so you will be fine. I had my LLETZ almost two weeks ago and still have discharge too, i think i read it can go on for 4 weeks or so. Everyone heals differently so don't worry.

 8 weeks sounds like a long time to wait, but as you will read on this forum that is a good sign. The urgently biopsy suspicious looking things, my first biopsy was back in a week as they were so worried. Yours has probably gone to the back of the queue as it didn't look bad.

Have you read the info about abnormal smears on this site? it is really good and reassuring

I'm sure you'll be fine but don't worry about posting here if you need to rant and vent.

Liz  xxxxx

Hi Rosanna,

Please stop worrying, i know exactly how you feel i had my first Smear in March this year which came back as high grade Dyskaryosis i was terrified. like you i had my Colposcopy and Lletz done at the same time. The nurse didn't really tell me much just that i would get the results in 6 weeks. They came back as CIN 3 which means there were abnormal cells but not Cancer i just have to have a smear in 6 monhts to make sure all of the abnormal cells have been removed. Moderate Dyskaryosis is usually CIN 2 which is the stage below mine it really is nothing to worry about it just means you have abnormal cells that could lead to cancer in many years if they are not treated. If you have any questions please feel free to ask i know its a scary time Xxx

Omg I can't tell you how much your replies have grounded me, just to know there are other people out there going through/gone through the same as me with good results. I can't honestly say since reading your replies I feel so much more relaxed. I guess I just get paranoid and lost faith in the doctors- mum was told she had a cyst which six months later became stage 4 ovarian cancer. Although I do need to realise these are totally different things. 

I would also like to mention that he didn't say much r.e what he saw up my tunnel during the colposcopy and lletz and I didn't want to see on the TV screen they had but if he saw something suspect would he have mentioned it there or then or at least secretly got it fat tracked? 

I have to say since the lletz I have been a different person it shocked me to the bone.  I have had quite bad back ache since the treatment and seems that is a common side effect? I guess I just want to know I'm clear  you are all so strong and I wish I had more balls!

Do you think the cervical ectropion the nurse saw on my initial smear was actually something else?

 

One very confused and slightly over emotional Rosanna  x

Hi Rosanna,

 

I am at the same stage as you - waiting for results from LLETZ after diagnosis of CIN2. I'm also petrified. I feel nauseous from nervousness. I just want to know already. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on - I feel like the more I know, the more control I'll have, but actually, all it's doing is making me more anxious.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, I can't imgaine how much scarier this is without her.

Hope you get good results

 - E

I'm sure you are just as strong as everyone on here and have lots of balls! :-) I was a wreck after i was told i had an abnormal smear, the doctor actually rang me up and said it was urgent that i went to the hopsital within the week. I then sobbed for the 6 days until my appointment. It's a scary time! I feel a bit more in control now, but i know i wont relax until i have a letter giving me the all clear (fingers crossed!).

I'm sure your doc would have said if they saw anything bad, and they certainly wouldn't say 8 weeks if they were going to secretly fast track it. They can't lie to you. It's awful your mum was let down by doctors. The smear screening process is very robust and the seem to be very pro active and prioritise it. i really do think the fact you  had moderate dyskosis and have said results will be 8 weeks is a very postitive sign. i dont know much about cervical ectropion but googled it and it says it is changes to cells on cervix so perhaps it is the moderate dyskosis she saw. I'm sure it was removed by the LLETZ anyway. backache is also prob from the LLETZ, although i had imaginary backache when i was waiting for my other biopsy results. Think i was googling symptoms too much! :-)  xx

Hi Princesse thanks for your reply... I see from your signature you are awaiting your results too..?

 

When are they due. I wonder why you were given urgent referral if they found only CIN2? forgive me i am still learning the jargon but isnt that moderate just the same as me?

 

tbh I do think these might also be imaginary pains lol I havnt had many problems after the Lletz but last night after I had a bath (SORRY FOR TMI) some black stuff came out looked like dried spiders... could have been a scab ?

 

I have to say I feel my life is still on hold until I get my results but having spent a large amount of time on this website (around 20 hours since yesterday :) ) I have read so many happy stories with great endings - even those with the worst case scenario have overcome it and that gives me hope!

HI, i was given urgent referal as my smear showed severe abnormalites, that looked 'very odd' and as such was treated as suspected cancer. I was then urgently referred for colposcopy where they took punch hole biopsys, the doctor did say that it didn't look to him what the smear result had showed, so he had to  get it urgently biopsied to rule it out. It then came back CIN2 and CGIN. CIN2 is the same as yours i think, and isnt too worrying. CGIN is abnormalities in the glands of the inner cervix as well, which can be more worrying as they can't see where it starts so it's harder to treat. I am hoping the LLETZ got it all though, he said 3 - 4 weeks for results. Last biopsy was urgent so came back in a week. My area seems fairly speedy though with results, it probably depends where you live!

I had loads of black stuff over the last week, i think i read it is tissue burnt from the lletz coming away as it heals. Mine carried on all last week whilst i was on holiday but seems to have stopped now. Typical!

i spend far too much time on this website too, it is helpful though just knowing your not the only one. I know its hard, but just try not to search for worst case senarios and keep yourself busy! x

 

I had nightmares all night about having cancer work up sweating. It's pathetic isn't it! I was thinking I might just ask for my cervix removed 

Just to update you all... my results came through and it was actually cin3 but it had been completely removed and I'm  acknowledged in 6 months for smear and HPV.  Couldn't have done it all without your support thank you!