Hi im posting on here for some advice, i am 27 and stupidly have only just been for my first smear, i assumed everything would be ok but had results back to say high grade dyskaryosis and on the same letter i seen its unlikely cancer but to even see that has made me petrified, i have also been on google checking and have practically diagnosed myself with cancer, I have spoken to the colposcopy clinic today to get some re assurance she said that it doesnt mean its cancer but there are abnormalities and if left could go on to be, im totally beating myself up for not going for my smear when i was called what if these abnormalities could have been detected then.
I havent slept or eaten for 3 days since i received letter im a nervous wreck, i am my own worse enemy at times like this but im soo terrified.
Any advice on people in a similar situation would be so much appreciated i am quite a private person so dont feel like i can talk to any family or friends and i dont want them to worry.
Hello. Hope your feeling ok hun. Just wanted to say I was in exactly the same situation as you in december, everything you have said is exactly how I felt so I know what you are going through and if you need to talk or out feel free to private message me.
I have tried not to google anything anymore and if I ever want to know something I just write it on here as usually there is someone who can give me some advise as all the ladies are lovely on here :)
I too had the dreaded 'high grade dyskariosis' letter, which also sent me into absolute panic (have a look back through my posts and you'll recognise yourself). High grade dyskariosis (CIN 3) means that we have some cells which show abnormalities and which, unlike lesser grades, wont go back to normal on their own and so will need to be removed. If they were left, they MAY progress to cervical cancer over a period of time, but cc can take many years to develop. I know that this time is extremely scary for you and that nothing anyone says will completely ease your mind, but please remember that these are pre-cancerous cells and that you are now in the system and will be seen soon.
I understand completely how you feel. The waiting is the worst feeling. Try not to Google as it really doesnt help. There is all sorts of nonsense on there, none of which will reassure you. I have had my colposcopy and my Lletz treatment and have also now gone on to get a great result from the biopsy, so if there is anything I can help with, feel free to message me. If I don't have the answer, I will help you find it. Also, the ladies on here are remarkably supportive and a real inspiration and will come along to help if they can. Big hugs.
Hello hun! Bless you, I know exactly how you feel! I expected my first smear to be normal too, never expected it would come back abnormal with evidence of HPV. I had my smear last October and was sent for a colposcopy. I was a nervous wreck! But trust me.. Google is the most torturing thing you can do and there is so much misinformation out there and also a lot of false info! If you need any reassuring or advice, use this website as the ladies here are lovely and always wanting to support others! High grade dyskariyosis does not mean cancer whatsoever - it just means abnormalities have been detected so don't start panicking (easier said than done I know!) but you'll be taken good care of and will attend regular screening to detect any future abnormality so the likelihood of it turning to cc is very slim hun! I was told I had low grade dyskariyosis on my smear - I was told I had high risk HPV at my colposcopy and that my cells were slightly abnormal. But on examining me she said she 'couldn't see much' and she thinks it's just the HPV that's present but took 2 biopsies anyway which came back as CIN1 and needed no further treatment and was referred back in a years time. CIN1 has the potential to return to normal that's why they decided to leave me a year to hopefully sort itself out! CIN2 and 3 dont tend to go back to normal on their own that's why they offer treatment, to remove the cells. I know of a few ladies that have had exactly the same thing done and have never had an abnormal smear since! So it is very affective hun.. Try to keep that in mind :) in the meantime - get your sleep! Your cells do the most repairing when you're asleep. You'll be fine hun, okay? The colposcopy is absolutely fine - nothing more than a smear but just a bit longer! 5 or 10 minutes and it's done. If you have any questions make sure you ask them lots while you're there so you can put your mind at ease! Good luck hun big hugs xxx
Firstly want to thank you all for reading my post and sharing your experiences with me!! People are so kind and I'm getting a lot of comfort hearing similar stories! As u can see from the time of this post another sleepless night on the cards :-( I'm emotionally and physically drained and Wednesday feels a million miles away (date for colsp). I'm just completly freaking out and possibly over reacting, like u all know it's hard not too!!! :-( :-( ... I'm just thinking tho if they can tell from smear that cells are pre cancerous surely they would be able to kno if these cells had already turmed ( as u can tell driving myself crazy with what ifs), I'm day 5 of no/little sleep now :-(
Hun get your sleep honestly! I know it's hard, I was the same as you believe me! But your smear is only to detect any abnormality - it doesn't detect what grade, it just detects how many of your cells are abnormal and if HPV is present they send you for a colposcopy as they examine you under a large microscope an in a lot more detail. You can look at your cervix on the screen if you wish too (I chose not too) but it would have been okay if I did as my changes were only very mild and even she couldn't see much. Sometimes your smear can be slightly wrong. Some ladies have been told they have high grade, when it turns out they're actually low grade. I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, but sometimes it does put us through a lot of worry that isn't necessary. Try to see the positives hun.. You've had the smear, they've detected some changes, they'll examine you in more detail to determine exactly what grade its at, they'll offer the necessary treatment to remove all the cells and it'll be done! You'll then attend regular screening to make sure the cells don't change again in the future which is unlikely after treatment. Bare all this in mind hun and try not to worry so much! We've all been there, but it's easier than it seems. If you need anyone to talk too, if you're feeling worried or just need a bit of advice, you can always private message me! Big hugs xxx
Dani87x thanks so much for your replies they have helped me more than you can imagine! Just an update ... after no sleep again and no food for 3 days you can imagine my state this morning, i had to ring in sick :( but i booked an appointment at my GPs and seen a nurse practitioner (luckilly for me she used to be a cervical team leader - she checked my results as i broke down as soon as i got in there... she said dyskarosis (however its spelt) Is not cancer its just abnormal cells that if left could become cancerous -- i explained my worries because my letter stated 'high' and she ensured me that it wasnt cancer - she also said if there was cancer present it could have detected???? which confuses me as i have read different? whats your thoughts on that??? I got in that much of a state i had a panic attack, she explained i need to stay focused and give myself a good talking to and that i have come for my smear and yes it has detected abnormalities - but these can be treated! I showed her my letter i received and she said the letters need to be firm to show the severity because although not all pre-cancerous cells turn into cancer they cant determine whos will or wont which is why everyone is offererd treatment.
She gave me some diazepam to calm me down she could see what a state i had made myself - hopefully this will get me through to Wednesday sane!! She told me to STAY AWAY from google as most of it is full of nonsense!! I feel a tad bit better but obviously still worried.
Also called the colposcopy clinic to try bring forward appointment to no success so guess i will be waiting until Wednesday!
Again Dani your comments have helped me so so much ... big hugs xx
Oh you're more than welcome hun! I'm glad I've made you feel a bit better - I echo what the doctor told you.. Stay away from google, it's one of the worst things we do to ourselves cause we convince ourselves we have all sorts lol I remember on my results I started experiencing all sorts of weird pains and twinges, until - like the doctor told you, I had a word with myself lol and the pains disappeared! It also helped that my boyfriend was very firm with me but yet really supportive. I needed someone to be brutal and honest and luckily the lady who did my colposcopy went straight down the middle and told me exactly what I needed to hear! As scary as it seems at first, it honestly gets so much easier when you tell yourself 'its not cancer, it probably never will be cancer and I'll be having regular screening to detect any future abnormalities' so keep telling that to yourself hun! It's not cancer.. It's just cell changes which can be easily treated.. You need to keep your head focused, so your body can do what it needs too! Sleep is so important! Please take my advice.. Get the sleep you need, relax, deep breathes! Hundreds of women have abnormal smears hun - it's really common. And like you, we all start to panic.. But you'll have the necessary treatment to remove the cells and that'll be it :) dont let it control your life hun! You'll honestly be fine.. Xxx
Hi Dani so comforting to receive messages from someone who can realte to it! I too have a very supportive partner hes been fantastic but he said to me that its not cancer and the likelyhood is slim! Im glad you said that - i feel like im feeling pain everywhere every little niggle and im thinking im too late its happened already :( hard to stay positive at times but i know its best i know whatever the outcome now rather than going to the doctors too late! Got a bit worked up earlier again then went for a walk clear my head! Did you find the night times were the hardest? ITs when i really really struggle! I wake up then thats it on my phone onto Dr google!!!
I wont fell ok until wednesday and even then i believe i may need to wait for results! its the bloody waiting isnt it!!
On the plus side i lost 5lb due to the worry and stress this week at slimming world!
Cant wait for it all to be over - got a holiday booked for July and im just thinking will i even get there!! xxx
I go every time for my smears, never missed one and i've been having them since I was 16, I'm now 37. Had my very first every abnormal smear results couple weeks ago and the letter was the same as yours. I was scared to death and I posted on here asking for help. I also done the worst thing you can possible do and googled everything. I'm glad you found this site as the people are absoutly amazing on here. They helped me a great deal. I had my Colposcopy this Tuesday just gone. Had LLETZ treatment and now got to wait 3-4 weeks for results but I think they took away all the abnormal cells. I guess even if you have a smear every time your called up you can still have an abnormal result. Please I know its very hard not to worry but try not to ok. Make sure you go have your Colposcopy and any other treatment you may have to have done. I hope that you will be ok and that they can remove any abnormal cells.
Thanks so much for replying, cant believe how much support im getting its very much appreciated. The nurse today told me to stop going on google yet im still finding myself with several pages over as now im making things up with me - trying to find things wrong and thinking have i had any symtopms but just not recognised them in time! im also beating myself up i didnt go for my smear when i was called but the nurse quite rightly said to me i cant change that and need to be aware that i have been and yes there is abnormalities but at least they can be dealt with accordingly. I just keep thinking its all too loate its tearing me apart! like i said in previous post i have been perscribed diazepam to calm me down im going to take one before bed!
When you go for colcosp do they kind of have an idea then if they are canerous or not?
I think its a little confusing to be honest. In my letter I was told High Grade Dyskaryosis so I asumed straight away that it was serve. When I got to the clinic, where I had my Colposcopy the nurse told me it was moderate. They explain what they are going to do and if treatment is needed they will do it there and then, as long as your well to do so. They ask you if there are any questions. Please ask away anything your worried about, they will be able to answer. I called my Doctor before I went to my Colposcopy, like a week before and he explained to me the different levels. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/understandingcervicalchanges/page9. Look at this link, this helped me a great deal to understand. Please dont search anymore on google though, it will only make things worse for you..xx
Basically the chart shows you the levels before they even consider to be pre-cancerous. This put my mind at rest and I hope it does yours. Stay strong..xx
Thanks so much!! I'm trying so hard to be positive and am grateful I have been for a routine smear and not because of any symptoms occurring so I have more of a chance of getting sorted before anything should progress!! I keep reminding myself that the doctor assured me they where pre-cancerous cells!! But hey we can have these cells anywhere can't we at least these can be checked!?
I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a lot older than you (54) and had a vaginal probe which said I had cysts and a fibroid but my doctor made a gynae appointment telling them I had suspected cancer!! He rang my husband to tell him this and he told me on waking me up (I work night shifts). I have had my first colposcopy and the nurse said she could see abnormalities. Like you, I have already diagnosed myself with cancer. I am having an MRI on Thursday and the nurse has already spoken about a hysterectomy which again scares the life out of me as I am very overweight. Googling is fatal: only makes you feel worse. I can't eat or sleep properly and have a nagging sickness in the pit of my stomach all the time. But as all the other ladies on here say (and I thank them sooo much for their input: they had been where we are going), we have to try to relax. At the end of the day, as my dear hubby keeps telling me, you can't cahnge anything by worrying. He has had his dealings with cancer: oral cancer. They had to remove all his lower teeth and jaw and rebuild it from bits taken from his arm and belly. He has hairs growing in his mouth!! They removed part of his tongue and his op was 12-13 hours long.
