This is my first post to this forum. I just had my first LLETZ last week following smears showing CGIN (I think, that's what I've managed to cobble together from the letters and brief conversations with the doctors) and am awaiting results. I guess I just wanted to talk about how dramatically it has affected my personal relationships, particularly my closest one outside of family. I'm currently single (I was seeing someone who very cruelly and publicly ditched me when he realised I was first going to the hospital....that's a whole other awful story) and my main source of support is my friends. I'm 27 and share a house with my best friend - although the validity of that title has been tested lately, and my parents and sister live about an hour away. Since all this has come about my best friend has been acting strange to say the least, her attitude towards it started as flippant comments some of which bordered on offensive: the most disgusting one being about how I couldn't have CC as I didn't have...and I'm really really sorry about the crudeness of this...."black tar stuff coming out" of me. When the smear came back showing abnormalities and I got referred for a colposcopy and LLETZ she has been basically absent. I don't know how to describe it, she's just not been around much at all and when she has she just won't acknowledge any of it. I've spoken to mutual friends who are all 'she's just having trouble coping' and my moral grown up side can accept that but the raw scared side of me is very angry that at such a scary time I'm having to walk on eggshells around someone so close. Has anyone else encountered this?
Luckily I have other friends as well as my family and co-workers who have been amazing about it all. I don't expect everyone to know what to say but as long as they say something, even if it's just 'I really suck at this and don't know what to say'. I'm quite a strong person I feel but I can't emotionally carry those close to me through this as well, as selfish as that may seem.
Anyway that's my current gripe, I hope it doesn't make me sound too mean. Anyone can relate? Any advice on how I go about tackling this if at all? Thanks.