Partner telling me he will be sleeping same bed as me

I am 4 days post radical hysterectomy and been back home 24 hours. As you all know through your treatments, I am hugely bloated and sore and still in pain. My fiance slept in the spare room last night but tonight he has said "I'm sleeping in here before the weekend "  he's a very tall, heavy rugby player build who sleeps like the dead and I often find myself squashed into a tiny bit of bed .... I'm terrified he will roll over in the night and hurt my belly or my incision. I love him dearly but I can't find the words to tell him to stay in the spare bed. Trouble is he's a long distance lorry driver and away Monday to Friday so I'm used to having lots of space when he's not here, 2 nights a week of being squished is OK normally but I'm terrified right now 

Has anyone else had the same or similar problem

Hello Kittyboo,


I haven't had this particular issue but I would encourage you to discuss your needs with your partner - it doesn't sound like he is being particularly aware or sensitive to the fact you are in considerable pain.  He might need it spelling out for him, unfortunately men aren't always that observant.  

How are things today, is the pain easing any?  I only came out of hopsital on the 5th day after surgery and it was a number of weeks before I stopped painkillers all together but it does get better, I promise.  


Hi Emma

Thank you for your reply... it wasn't something I had thought about until he announced last night that he would be out of the spare bed before the weekend.

I took the bull by the horns today and told him I needed time to lose some of the pain, he was very quiet but later this afternoon he said he understood.

Been up all day and downstairs which has helped stop him feeling "useless and helpless" 

Pain meds wise I have take 4 paracetamol with 2 dihydrocodeine between them, hoping to cut 1 dihydrocodeine tomorrow, think the morning one will go first. I'm not a huge fan of pain meds at the best of times!

Tomorrow I plan to walk down my garden very slowly ?

Big love

KittyBoo x

Post menopause bleed sept 2020

Biopsy 1st October 2020

Diagnosed stage 2 cervical cancer 12th October 

MRI and CT 19th October 

Exploratory surgery 3rd November restaged to 1B1

Radical hysterectomy including pelvic lymph nodes 12 th November 





Well done for voicing your needs, I wonder if he thought sharing the bed would be a help in some way ie good intentions just didn't think about the practicality! I think our family members don't often know what to do or say. I had my mum with me and I know sometimes she felt a bit useless. She told me she wished it was her so I didn't have to go through it.

Walk like a snail! I remember getting up from the armchair in the living room and taking so long to walk to the next room where my housemate was working - he used to take the piss because he knew I was coming, just took a while to appear. Catheters don't help!

Go steady, its big surgery and the emotional side of things is also huge. Xx

My family is a weird bunch, mum always says I spoiled her 21st birthday ... I saw born 12 days before lol. And a radical hysterectomy is nothing! She had a knee replacement!! Oh the horror!! I just have to laugh, rather I will when it doesn't hurt lol

Things are progressing well, I'm actually able to stand up straight and not feel like my internal organs might fall out without my hand to support them ??

Pain relief wise I have done really well ... just 3 lots of paracetamol no dihydrocodeine at all and the pain is disappearing!! Think I will run a marathon tomorrow! Or perhaps not 

Its now time for a good sleep ... sleep well sweetie 

K x

So how's it going now KittyBoo - has your fiancé found how to be supportive but give you healing space? Hope things are going well.