Partner struggling to be supportive :(

I am new to this forum and can honestly say that reading other people’s experiences have shown me that I am not alone.

My husband and I are recently married, but have been together for almost 14 years.

I recently had 2 abnormal smears and last week a colposcopy was done. My doctor was very unhappy with my cervix and could not do a biopsy as she did not know where to start.
I am booked in for a LEEP under general anesthetic today and will be going through this alone as my husband is not coping in being supportive :frowning:

He developed warts a couple of years back and is convinced that I have him HPV as my previous partner cheated on me numerous times.
Obviously now that I am showing systems it has just opened all the old wounds.

He is very worried about me, but instead of being there for me during this process he is acting angry and embarrassed about it. I am feeling so alone at the moment and it makes going through this so much harder than it already is.
My doctor has also been very vague regarding which strians I have and what CIN level I am at…

Hi Jane :-)

(((((HUGS)))))

Tell him to grow up. You show me anybody who has ever had sex and I'll show you somebody with HPV. If he honestly believes that you gave it to him because a previous partner of yours was fooling around I suggest he does himself a little research before pointing fingers. Are you the only partner he's ever had in his entire life?

Some men can be a bit awkward when it comes to gynaecological stuff so he may be more embarrassed than angry.

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Hi there

im sorry that you have this to deal with on top of your own issues but let me tell you this!!! 

The strain of HPV that causes changes to the cervix are completely different from the strain of HPV that causes genital warts!!!

if you doubt this then do some info for yourself or as tivoli has mentioned tell him to do his research!!! 

There are over 200 different strains of HPV.

i know that in most clinics there are many phampletes about HPV  maybe pick some up and leave them in plain view for him to read if he is to stubborn to research and demand an apology  

good luck hon!!

hugs

http://m.cancer.org/acs/groups/content/@editorial/documents/document/acspc-043803.pdf

 

My gynaecological oncologist told me that HPV is so common that Nuns and new born babies have it. The babies get it from their mothers but I'm not sure where the nuns get it from. Anyhow if you're sexually active you've been exposed some peolple shed it and some people hold on to it. My boyfriend ran for the hills before I had the chance to tell him that I have a non HPV related cervical cancer, extremely rare. Is it wrong for me to feel secretly pleased that he worries away in ignorance. Jayne

Hi Jane

 

What Tivoli said... he needs to grow up! Sorry but I have a very low tolerance for male shitty behaviour, especially when it comes to this stuff! 

I am sorry that you are dealing with this on top of everything else, but that's why you need to dismiss his shitty behaviour and just focus on you and your health!

OMG I literally laughed out loud Jayne when I read your last sentence! And your puppy is soooo darn cute!

 

Rosie xx

Hi Tivoli,

Thank you for your message. It's been hard and yes I think he is embarrassed more than angry. He does not deal well with emotional issues. We had a good talk the weekend, but yesterday I got my results from the Lletz and now we are back to square one again :(

 

 

Thanks babe, he does read up about it, but seems as if he just focusses on all the negative points.

Hi, thanks for your message. My gynae also told me it is extremely common.

Sorry to hear your boyfriend ran for the hills :( You are better off and no it's not wrong to secretly be pleased that he worries away! 

Hi babe, thanks for your message!

It is harder trying to focus on myself when having to worry how he will react with the next news or test.

2007 - 2015: Normal smears yearly

Feb 2016: Abnormal Smear

August 2016: Abnormal Smear

17 Nov 2016: Colposcopy

23 Nov 2016: Lletz under GA & biopsy

28 Nov 2016: Lletz results - CIN 3 non clear margins Non-cancerous

Post op follow up due Dec 2016 & Colposocy & Smear in 4 months time

Hi ladies, hope you are all well.

I am so confused now, my gynae called me now as I wanted to know which hpv strain I tested for.

I have CIN3, but tested negative for the 16 & 18 strains. 

Even my gynae is confused.

I have a check up on 20 Dec and she now suggested that in 4 months time when I go for another smear we send it to a different lab for testing to get a 2nd opinion.

I am struggeling really hard to come with all this at the moment.

Anyone else experienced similar results?

 

Hi Jane Yes my cc has no HPV therefore tested negative to 16 & 18. I liken it to getting lung cancer when you don't smoke. Treatment's the same though. PM me if you like when you get your results