Ongoing Issues - Worried

Hi all, 

I had my first colposcopy age 25 (now 30 and have a 6 year old daughter, my daughter was born in Feburary before this cycle started in June) which showed CIN3 and the cells were removed under Lletz. 

Follow up smear 6 months later showed HPV so another colposcopy examination, no changes reported so I was discharged back to 3 yearly smears. 

Fast forward to the next smear which showed CIN1 following another colposcopy, biopsies were taken and it was advised to watch and wait for 12 months and have another smear. 

The next smear showed yet again severe changes, during the colposcopy exam no abnormal cells could be found, but biopsies were taken. These rhen showed CIN3, my case was referred for MDT review. Subsequently had another Lletz which then confined the cells as CIN2, but the margins were only 'mostly' clear. Based on this I was booked back in for another colposcopy in 6 months and my appointment is now this coming Monday.

Ladies, can anyone offer any reassurance or advice? I am absolutely petrified that the cells will remain and that I am going to be advised I need a hysterectomy. There are already problems with finding my cervix due to the previous surgeries.  I don't seem to be able to shake them off and I am getting myself into such a state. I am even convincing myself I will end up developing throat cancer because of the HPV. Does anyone know the likelihood of that happening? I already have bladder problems and had a number of in depth surgeries as a child and I am so worried about needing a hysterectomy and this getting worse. 

Sorry this is such a long post, any help or advice would be greatly welcomed.

Julie x