Numb (children mentioned)


I have 2 young children and not a great amount of family support. I went for a smear about 2months ago (ish) which came back showing abrnomal cells. Was referred for a coloscopy and was told there and then it was CIN3 high grade changes so it was best to have them removed. I had them removed under LA. I had an appointment with a consultant last week who has said I have to go for an MRI and I had bloods taken too.


Am I the only one that is going through this and doesnt feel anything? I'm reading this forum and everyone seems traumatised, upset and angry. I have just carried on with normal life. My other half barely mentions it. Nothing seems to have changed. I received an app letter in the post today with Macmillian leaflets etc - It just feels like its happening to someone else. Ive told close family and a couple of friends and played it down so I don't think anyone actually thinks there is anything wrong.


Just feeling totally numb and a bit lost.


B x

Hi Babble

You are obviously conscious of what is happening as you have found this site and posted on it.  There are no right or wrong feelings and it affects us all in different ways.  You may feel like that now but feel totally different in a weeks time, who knows.  But please be honest with yourself, your friends and your family - if you are diagnosed with CC then you will need your own strength and the strength and support of those around you.  Perhaps your other half has barely mentioned it as he's finding it difficult to cope with.

Did your consultant give you a diagnosis?  That is normally the case before you have the MRI even if the stage etc can't be confirmed.

Please don't feel lost, you'll find lots of friends and support on this site. 



Thanks Cheryl.

Just feel like there is something wrong with me because im not more emotional. I've had the diagnosis but don't know what stage etc it is. Is is possible that its gone already from having the cells removed a few weeks ago or is that unlikely? That's really my only question there is just nothing.

If you had asked me a year ago how I would feel if I was diagnosed with Cancer I would have said devestated/angry/terrified but there's just nothing. Don't know what other half is thinking to be honest. Even my mum didn't really say much. I would think if a friend/family member of mine was diagnosed with CC I would fuss over them and look after that but literally nothing in my life has changed. I don't feel ill. Ive suffered with depression in the past and would have thought this would make me spiral back into it but there is honestly just nothing. You could be right and maybe it will hit me like a tonne of bricks tomorrow but right now its all work/kids and moving house.


I appreciate you taking the time to reply. Hope you are ok.


B x

Hi B

If you have been told you have CC then sorry but it is unlikely that it has gone already.  Perhaps your family are being like that as they are trying to be strong for you.  Its strange how some people react when something like this happens, some are very emotional and others don't know how to react so they come over as not reacting at all.

In a way its good that you have a lot occupying your mind at the moment so at least you are being kept busy.

Hopefully it is early stage and you get the help and support you will need.

I've been through it and am doing ok now.  Let us know how you get on and please don't hesitate to ask anything you want to know.



Hi B,

have you had a diagnosis of cervical cancer, or is your diagnosis cin3? 

I think all of this is a huge thing to deal with, especially if you have, as I do too, a history of depression. But carrying on as normal is a way of dealing with it! I went through a couple of days of terror, then fairly normal with the odd major wobble day. I had a major wobble on Friday, over a fairly straightforward MRI, and had to go to bed for a bit, but now I'm having a great weekend!  We all get through it somehow.

we are here for you however you feel! 

Molly xxxx

Yea I've had the dreaded diagnosis but have no idea what stage it's at and was just given some leaflets and told to expect an MRI appointment in the post. I've done a huge amount of research and read peoples stories on here. I get a bit of a lump in my throat when I consider what would happen to my children if I weren't here but other than that I'm not even scared. It's honestly like it's not happening to me...

Maybe it's me in denial not my other half!! Lol