Newly diagnosed and panicking


I had Lletz a few weeks ago and was told a couple of days ago I have CC. My MRI is in 10 days and, after a couple of days of being in denial, I am now feeling panicky and stressed. I can't think of anything else. They won't be having a meeting to discuss my treatment until a week after the scan and I don't know how I'm going to stop this terrible anxiety. Has anyone got any words of wisdom? I have times when I can barely breathe! 



Oh Kirsty,

I was completely the same, but that AWFUL feeling of terror does not last. Or maybe for some it does, but not for those of us that have discovered Jo's! The waiting is absolutely the worst, and thre will be a fair bit of it. Do everything you can to look after yourself, reduce your stress levels, and prepare. The things that helped me were keeping busy (I've finished my Christmas shopping!) and weirdly, having a bag packed for hospital, once I knew I would be having the hysterectomy. Also, I read a couple of books on tackling cancer and improving health to reduce risk, and they helped me to feel positive and proactive. My good resolutions have slightly gone to pot mind!

do you an idea of stage yet, or treatment?

keep in touch on here, there are so many wonderful ladies here to advise and reassure, and feel free to pm me if you want.

Molly xx

Hi Kirsty,


I do feel for you and Molly has given you great advice.  So many of us have been through all that waiting - first for smear test results, then colposcopy and biopsy results, then MRI scan results.  It seems it will never end but it does - then you can get on with the treatment and get on with your life.  Jos Trust is great support and try and confide in good friends and family.  Try excercising or treat yourself to a facial/massage (always does the trick for me).  Eat healthy and get enough sleep.  Do you like reading - immerse yourself in good novels.  If you are working, make sure the boss is aware and don't let them stress you out - take time off it helps, otherwise it may be a welcome distraction. 


Good luck and am sure you will be OK.



I know you're not supposed to swear on here, but my love it's SH*T! The worst thing you'll ever be told. Be proud that you're over that milestone. milestones for me really help. So think about it in little chunks. 


OK, so I had a colposcopy, which was diagnosed with cancer. Had leetz, then a cone biopsy and lymph nodes extracted. I'm early stages, 1b. My MRI isn't clear, I'm still waiting for CT results on my chest. But listen, I've been through what you are, I've decided it won't consume me, I'm enjoying a weekend with my hubby. I've learned to just enjoy the good things. 


it was my hubby who told me to respond. I had (selfishly) relied on Jo's, but never posted. This is a fantastic place to meet others who understand how you feel. It's crap, but it does get better. There's lots of waiting, you need to learn to lean on those close to you, you will need it. 


Please post again when you get your results. 



Take care xxxxxxx

Hi Kirsty,

It's a bugger isn't it! You have almost three weeks to get through before you have a discussion about your treatment. I think that the best you can do when you are gripped by anxiety is remind youself that we are all here. We have all had a CC disgnosis and we are all still here. Most of us are well and chances are you will be too. Try to think about other stuff as much of the time as possible and when you can't think about anything except for the cancer, then hang out here and get to know the rest of us.

Be lucky


What was the level of abnormlaity detected at your smear? Did they have an idea from colposcopt that something was wrong or did it come unexpected to you? Just wondering. just had punch biopsies on Friday and freaking out already.

Hi Molly,

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I don't know the stage or treatment yet (only know it's moderately differentiated squamous cell carcinoma) and will have to wait until 18th to find out what they will do. Seems like such a long time!

I'm definitely going to get a couple of books on looking after myself and my friends are being great. I also need to find a way of calming down as I'm feeling so very stressed. My husband is in the kitchen helping my son with his homework and even their lively conversation is making me feel stressed. Aarrrggghhh!!!


Kirsty x

Thanks for that good advice - I do like this website!

I have a massive pile of books so maybe I'll finally be able to get through the backlog. My husband has already been upping my healthy food. I'm trying to work out whether to go to work this week or not. I'm a teacher and the job is a) stressful and b) not the kind of thing where you can hide behind a computer screen with a cup of tea like some of my previous jobs! Will it be a useful distraction or an unmangeable nightmare for someone in this state of anxiety? Who knows?!

Thank you very much for responding and giving good advice. Do you know, I have never, ever posted on anything and wasn't even sure I'd be able to do it without messing it up so it shows how desperate I am! It's very comforting to feel that I'm not alone and thank you for pointing out that I have already go over the Being Told You Have Cancer milestone. Yippee!! Feel a bit better already! :)

Hope your CT results are good!


Kirsty x

Thank you, Tivoli. I'm going to phone tomorrow and say I'll drop everything and go for an MRI earlier if they have a gap. Three weeks is too long! I have to say that reading the responses to my first post has made me feel so much better emotionally. I have a little list in my head now all all the helpful and supportive things people have said and I'm just going to chugg along, find ways to relax, try to look after myself and have a laugh with friends and family. 

Kirsty x


My smear was CIN2 and I was told I was at "the severe end of abnormal". I was too busy fainting and freaking out during the LLETZ to hear any ideas about anything! After the procedure I did look into symptoms of cervical cancer and realised I had had quite a few of them for quite a long time so I was quite worried after that. However, I was still very shocked when I got a call from an MRI bookings person asking me to come in as I hadn't had the diagnosis at that point. I hoped the MRI would be for some other reason but, sadly, that wasn't the case. :( Do you know exactly when the results will come? I wish I had found that out and kept phoning because it took me a while to find out what was going on after the MRI call - not a happy day!

I really hope your results will come soon and be good. I'm freaking out too and it's not helpful, is it?! I'm finding other people are a wonderful distraction. Especially friends as my husband is freaking out as much as I am! I'm planning to go out a lot. People are going to get so sick of my constant demands to go to the pub or out for a coffee!

Anyway, take care, find a way of staying calm and I really hope you get good news soon.


Kirsty x

Hi Kirsty. Would you consider paying for an MRI. I was diagnosed week before christmas last year and was told i couldn't have a CT scan until the new year. My friend whio was with me (a nurse) asked about a private scan. It wouldn't of crossed my mind!!! My private CT scan was £325 and was done the next week and results back on Christmas eve. It was worth the money in my mind. After that everything moved quickly and everything else I had done was NHS.

Thank you. I didn't even think of that and it's handy to know roughly how much it would cost. I will get on the case tomorrow.

Hope you're feeling okay - I see it's less than a week sinch your surgery. 

Take care and thanks for the advice.

I'm good thanks. Was a day case biopsy surgery so relatively minor. Not sure if MRI's are comparative cost wise but I'm guessing they would be. Good Luck. x



i haven't had any odd symptoms really but I don't know, I had an emergency section last year because I wasn't dilating properly and they said something about my cervix then but I was so out of it on drugs (it was a bad, long, labour) and hadn't skept for nearly 3 days so didn't really take on board. I had had intermittent pain since then but I also suffer IBS which causes cramps plus pain around the section site so wouldn't know if it was anything out the ordinary. My smear was 2 years late. I guess I have a tendency to be pessimistic when it comes to my health and I worry because of family health problems although these tend to be heart, weight based so don't suppose it's really relevant. I just panic. I just had a feeling this time that it wouldn't come back clear. I just want to know. 

It sounds like you've been through a tough time. how old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 35 :)

Hi Kirsty,

Forgot to say there are cc support groups out there - mine is at one of the Maggies centres attached to the hospital.  Do you know if there is one local to you where you can go for disussions, making new friends (with those going through the same thing) etc.  They also do relaxation, yoga, dealing with stress, art etc. etc. If you ring Jos Trust, they wil tell you where your local support group is.



Hi Kirsty,

I am also a teacher and have not been back since I was diagnosed. I just felt that I needed to do everything I could to reduce the stress in my life. I do feel guilty because I've had a few weeks of finally feeling recovered from my lletz, when I've felt able to work, but as you say it's not a job where you can just sit and have a cuppa and get on quietly. There is also all the work that comes home, for a start! If you are anything like me, there was no time in my life for any 'me time', especially with kids at home too.

i suppose your decision will depend on how busy you want to be, and how supportive your head is, but do put your health before anything else.

love, Molly xxx

Thanks, Janis. I'll look into that.


Hooray - my husband begged them to bring the scan forward and I'm now having it on Thursday. I also sent a long, rambling email to the nurse at the clinic and she has phoned and calmed me down quite a lot. :)

I'm still having waves of panic every now and then but I definitely feel more stable than I did yesterday. 

Hi Mrsho!

I hope you're finding ways to lessen the panic today. Sounds like you've had a tough time too. I hope you get some news soon. I think the nurses at these clinics arer used to the patients panicking and they have ways to calm us down. 

I'm 44, by the way. :) 

Kirsty x