Newbie with my story so far

Hi ladies. I have to admit I have been a bit of a lurker here and have really appreciated a lot of the calming, helpful posts.  I thought it was about time I joined you lovely ladies and let you know of my experiences.  

Back in 2004 I had mild changes, went for a colposcopy which didn't hurt in the slightest and was told all was okay but I went to 6 monthly smears for a while just to keep an eye on me. Everything went back to normal and all my smears were fine until November this year. My result  was high grade dyskaryosis. I was devestated and Googled myself silly! I couldn't concentrate at all in work and even phoned up the hospital in tears as I'd  suddenly developed every symptom under the sun since my colposcopy appointment came through! The nurse was very reassuring over the phone and calmed me down. 

Anyhow, Thursday this week was my appointment, I already knew I was going to have Lletz as the nurse had told me over the phone. And I stupidly didn't take anyone with  me to hold my hand - that is now my biggest regret. The consultant explained  what she was going to do and explained I might go into early which I replied I'm not pregnant! Then realised  she was for warning  me incase I plan for more children. She then asked me my age...I also got that wrong and told her I was 34....and then remembered  I was 37! She had a chuckle at me....clearly my nerves were shot!

Next thing they moved me to the treatment room, I stripped off from the waist down and got comfy (sarcastic) into the stirrups.  They strapped the sticky pad to my thigh and then gave me two local anaesthetic injections.  I felt them but they didn't hurt. She told she saw two large areas of abnormal cells and proceeded to burn the life out of the first patch. I felt cramps but it wasn't painful as such. I led there and shed a tear, feeling violated,out of control and basically  like dog turd. Next thing I felt a searing hot poker on my cervix and jumped out the seat!!!! She had apparently started on the second  patch but I wasn't numb enough. OMG it was evil...I wanted to kick the masochistic cow in the face! So anyhow I got another injection  which worked  and she proceeded with the second patch.  She got rid of it all...but then they couldn't stem the bleeding...that was scary...she spent more time stemming the blood than actually removing the cells. I was really scared but the nurse was calming me down as best she could. 

They then very kindly inserted a painkilling  suppository  up my backside. .I have to admit,  I was so so grateful for it. And was told it would last 16 hours. The nurse helped me up of the bed, made sure  I wasn't going  to faint and then handed me a sanitary towel - cheers love! They left the room whilst I got dressed, I turned round to see where I had been lying on the bed and absolutely terrified  myself...It was like a murder scene..The blood was everywhere and I mean everywhere. It really traumatised me. 

Once dressed I sat with the consult,  she said it had gone really  well and they will phone me in 3 weeks with the biopsy  results. I drove myself home and led on the couch  for a few hours. Then went to bed very early. Didn't sleep at all the first night as I was scared to move. The next day (yesterday) I felt nauseous, week, sore and stupidly tried to go to my works do in the night.  I lasted 3 hours and had to come  home. Id been taking painkillers every 4 hours. Today is day 3, I feel really good. Tiny bit sore but feel much more myself. And haven't had any bleeding at all - I think  they cauterized me within an inch of my life! I'm just having watery discharge  which I've heard is normal.

So that's my story so far...x


Oh wow, you've really had a rough time of it haven't you!! Bless you hon, hope you've got lots of treats & rewards for yourself after going through all of that? I'm the worlds worst hypocrite here but do try not to worry or overdo things after having the treatment...I've spent lots of time in hospitals & waiting for letters, phone calls, I know it isnt easy. Especially when you want to keep distracted but still recovering. Glad you're feeling a lot more "normal" now.

You've been really brave, be proud of yourself for getting through it...I'm proud of you! Lots of love to you, keep us updated...

C xxx

Hello Haybo :-)

Wow you've been having some fun haven't you! I'm really hoping that a little while from now you can look back on this and just laugh about it.

Be lucky


Hey Haybo

I had my colposcopy last Monday, and had to say that I did find the procedure more humiliating then painful. I found the actual cleaning up and the speculum quite painful and it hurt me more then the actual Lletz. I cried like a baby and kept asking to be put under general. I think the situation is exacerbated by the build up of fear, and you feel very exposed. I do understand how you feel, but I keep thinking that these things are here to try and prevent anything worse. Fingers crossed you feel better soon. x