I've just being diagnosed with cervical cancer stage 2. I'm not sure on how I should feel or act, I seem to be acting normal, I think deep down I am in denial. Everyone around me are very upset and I feel I have to be strong for them. I have a 14 year old daughter who seems to be like me with it all. I just don't know what to do, I have cried but I feel numb and confused like I'm watching someone else. Is it normal to feel and act like this. Not sure if it's the waiting too as waiting to get my appointment for mri scans etc.
Thanks for listening.
Sorry to hear the news of your diagnosis but you have definitely come to the right forum. My piece of advice would be to stay away from google and use this site to post questions etc inbetween appointments. There are lots of lovely ladies on here who have been through the exact same thing who can offer words of encouragement and support.
In answer to your questio, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to react. I was diagnosed back in August with stage 1B1 and the first week after it, I went into total meltdown! (Not good when you are a full time working single mum of a 9 year old and a 5 year old!). However, after that, I made myself just take each day as it comes....some days I would feel strong, other days total panic. Have you been assigned a CNS/ Macmillan nurse? Mine is really good and I can call her at any time to discuss my worries with her. I received my MRI results and treatment plan two weeks ago now and I feel alot calmer about it. I still wish I didn't have the dastardly thing but you feel so much better when you know what is going to happen. The waiting and worrying is definitely the worst part of all this.
Do you have a date for your MRI yet? X
I'm really sorry you have found yourself here, but you have come to the best place. The women on here are all amazing and so supportive so ask any questions you have. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, just had my MRI and hoping to get a confirmed stage and treatment plan soon - the waiting really is the worst and Kelly is right, I'd definitely avoid google. Take each day as it comes and don't worry about a right or a wrong way to react to this - its a lot to take in and we are all different. Like you, those around me think I've been acting normal but I've cried loads and its always on my mind.
Take care, stay strong and if you have any questions or want someone to talk to, keep in touch with us.
To be honest I found some other people's reactions and upset bloody annoying as I really needed everyone to be strong and positive about my diagnosis so I could be and see a way through it. Obviously your daughter will be very upset and but you could start to ask others to be strong and positive to support you and her rather than you being strong to support them. I had one close friend who went to pieces and kept crying on me and her other friends which was just too much drama for me. I think using a professional for support is a fab idea they can be your outlet to cry to. My mum was diagnosed with cancer in my late teens and she arranged for me to speak to Macmillan and it really helped. Macmillan have a section on their website about talking to children about your cancer and they may be able to suggest online or face to face support groups for your daughter.
Never forget it is ok to cry too, you are in a tough and bewildering situation and being upset and overwhelmed is a natural response.
Wishing you all the very best xxx
Hi thanks for the replies, really appreciate it.
I haven't yet been assigned to anyone yet, when I got my diagnosis on Mon the doctor did mention about getting referred to people etc. Not got my dates yet for mri scan, hopefully hear something this week.
I can't even say it out loud that I have cancer, it feels bizarre. I've had a couple of days off work but I'm going to go back tomorrow, my mum thinks I need to take the rest of the week off but I feel I need to try and get on as normal as possible, the only thing that concerns me is facing people I'm not the type for fuss and I'm certainly not used to being fussed over.
I'm really glad I joined and posted on here as I'm starting to feel a little better already reading everyone's comments.
So thank u all again.
I think going back to work if you can bear it is sometimes a good idea. No one at work knew about my diagnosis at the time (only 2 people know now) as it gave me headspace to be normal in a place where no-one knew. Do what feels right. If work gets too much you can always ask for leave. Once you have a cancer diagnosis you are covered by the disability discrimination act btw.
Ah the 'how should I behave' question. That time when you wish there was some sort of instruction manual on etiquette. Whatever way you deal with it is right for you. There are no right or wrong ways. Some people tell everyone, some keep it a secret, some laugh and joke it off,some cry,some resesrch until their eyes bleed, some turn to God.
it's a time to be utterly selfish and do whatever YOU need to do to get through it. How you feel may change daily, even hourly. workwise coukd you tip off a manager and get them to say '
nicola has Cancer but she just wants to carry on as normal and doesn't want to talk about it so please treat her the same' or you can choose to tell no one. My way of dealing with it was that I told EVERYONE. But like I say there is no wrong or right way.
Trust yourself. You will deal with it just the way you need to.
Hi Nicola :-)
Welcome to the forum :-)
Lots of wise words above so I just wanted to add that in my case I just rolled my sleeves up and got on with it. It was only after all the treatment had finished that I went into meltdown and needed counselling. We are all different and we all handle things differently. I don't think attaching labels such as 'denial' helps anybody, all that does is suggest you should be dealing with things a different way, but you are individual and you don't have to behave in anybody else's set pattern. You may find things change once you have had your MRI results, you may not. I only want to wish you well on your adventure and to say that we are all here for you.
Be lucky :-)
Well the work thing didn't work out too well, thought I was ready for it but I couldn't concentrate on my job, kept forgetting things. Had a meltdown on the phone to my manager so he got cover for tomorrow so I didn't have to go in. Said I'd finish my shift tonight but one of my colleagues that is like a brother to me had come in seen what I was like went home put his work clothes on and told me to get home. I have a lot of responsibility at work so I already feel under pressure as it is. My mum is wanting me to go to the doctor and get signed off work for a week or soo but I'm not sure.
Feel like I have let people down, my problem is I'm a workaholic and have never had a day off in 3 years so I'm panicking about being off. I have to realise that I'm just a number but my job is very important to me.
Thanks again for all the kind messages xx
I think many of us are brought up to believe that work is the reason for our existence, that it's 'important'. It isn't. Your health is important. If your employer is understanding then you will be permitted whatever time off it takes to get you well. If your employer is not a warm and fuzzy understanding individual then you will be better off finding a nicer one elsewhere :-)
Be lucky :-)
So I got my first appointment through Today for Wed, not sure what's it for just that it's at the gynecology department. So at least things are starting to happen even though I don't know exactly what it's for. Went to the Maggies centre the other day, really good place with some fantastic people.
And this is my 4th day off the cigarettes, really proud of myself. Has a great weekend with my boyfriend and friends, just what I needed.
Just want to thank everyone again for the replies, I really appreciate it.
Well done for keeping off the fags! It's difficult but worth sticking with :-)
Be lucky :-)
Hey just a quick update. So I have my CT and MRI scan next Tues and a PET scan on the Wed.
I had an appointment with the gynocology and he reckons if the scans are ok then I wont be getting any kind of operation as the tumour is too big which could possibly lead to complications. He is saying I will get Chemotherapy 1 day a week and Radiotherapy 5 days a week for roughly 5 weeks then 2 blasts of radiotherapy straight to the cervix. Just have to see what the scans say. He also said its stage 2b.
Has anyone had this type of treatment?
Thanks Nicola x
I was a 2b too :-) Almost everyone here has had that same treatment; 5 chemo, 25 radio & 2 brachy, certainly I have. Some go as far as 28 radio & 3 brachy but that's not a great deal of difference. You will likely find the therapies drain your energy but hopefully not much more than that. Certainly they are perfectly doable, you will keep your hair and you will get plenty of advice from the other women here about the therapies if you have any questions. People will advise you to make sure and take the anti-nausea medication for the chemo, and you may find that the radiotherapy upsets your digestive system somewhat, I found that drinking liquid aloe vera may have helped and certainly did no harm.
Separately, that's a lot of different scans you are having! Most people here get one or the other, not all three! Sounds like your team wants to play with their machines :-)
Be lucky :-)
Thanks for the info,thats one of the things I asked was about my hair,it's the only question I could really ask at the time.
I thought it was rather strange with the 3 scans as they machines are pretty expensive,so now I'm wondering why I'm getting them all. The MRI and CT scans are at hospital in the same town I stay in but the PET one is like 45 mins away by car. I haven't had my letter for the PET but my nurse told me the date. She also mentioned that the multi disaplinary team will be getting together next Thurs to discuss my treatment so looks like it won't be much longer now.
Thanks again for the info,really appreciate it.
Sorry to hear of ur situation and it's perfectly normal to be scared and to try and think positive. I'm a bit the same,it's the waiting that's the hardest part feel like I'm stuck in limbo. It hasn't really sunk in with me and people seem to be surprised at how I'm coming across but I think once I know what I'm dealing with maybe then it may hit me.
This is a great place to come to, lots of information and support and it's good to actually speak to people going through similar experiences.
Stay strong and anytime u need to talk feel free to message me.