New to the forum -introdution

Hello lovelies! For about a month I've been reading all of your posts - first let me say how sorry I am to see so many wonderful ladies going through this journey, and that my thoughts and prayers are with you all. My name is Chelsae. I will be 26 in just a few days. Can't say I'm very excited about that, but the show must go on. Anyways, I was scheduled for my PAP back in August 2016 but due to my doctor leaving the country for vacation it was rescheduled for January 2017. I do not know if this was a blessing in disguise as I feel that perhaps it would have been missed if I had gone then, but that's what I choose to believe because that's what makes me feel a little better. I went in for my pap, and had a lovely conversation with my GP (she actually delivered me, and I was her first face presentation.. so she's very... invested in my future, I suppose). Anyways, we had a conversation about my wanting to conceive and not being able to after 2.5 years. I told her that I am sure I have had at least 2 early miscarriages (I am freaky intuitive to my body, I also had faint positive tests. She figured it was my thyroid and gave me a prescription and sent her best. Fast forward 10 days, I was 6 days late for my period (which never happens), having weird symptoms and just knew I was pregnant. But I was cramping. One night the cramping got severe and I started bleeding, which isn't how I normally start my period. I was taken to the E.R which confirmed miscarriage. I had a pelvic exam, ultrasound and transvaginal ultrasound done. They sent me home that night. 4 days later my GP office called and told me I had abnormal cells, they were worried about cancer and wanted me to take folic acid and come back in 3 months for another pap. 2 days later they called me back, and I spoke with my doctor directly. She informed me that this was cancer and I needed a colposcopy right away. She even had her office help me get seen by the best surgeon in the region, without insurance and helped me figure out insurance.. which I now have, thank heavens. Apparently my doctor recieved my file from the emergency room visit, and my status went from come back in 3 months to you need a colposcopy RIGHT NOW! Unfortunately that doctor went out of the country, so it was a 3 week wait. When I got there the doctor seemed very confused on why I was even there, had a cat scan of a kidney stone in my file THAT WASN'T MINE! But upon him asking who my referring doctor was, his attitude totally changed when I told him who it was. She's highly respected, and I could tell he held her in high esteem. He did, however, dismiss all of my symptoms and all but told me I was fine, it wasn't cancer and he wouldn't be performing a colposcopy. I did start to get agitated and asked why I was even there, and he said it wouldn't hurt to do an exam only, and if he seen something worrisome he would take a biopsy but "highly doubted the need". Well, there I was with my nether regions being poked and prodded by Dr. Arrogance and his very cute intern, who had much more compassion. The speculum and exam is excruciating to me now (when it was only mild discomfort until the night of January 19th). I was white knuckled on the table, lips quivering trying to be tough. I asked if it was suppose to hurt and the Dr said, "it might sting a little, but no pain" and I said, well I am in a lot of pain and it isn't stinging. This is the pain I feel during sex. He did ask if I wanted him to stop, and I told him to get what he needed done. The nurse held my hand as she could see the pain I was in. I am not a wimp, I handle pain well. I heard him inhale sharply and tell his intern to look, afterward they shared a knowing look and he asked for the biopsy tube and the tool to cut. He took his sample and told me he would send it in. He didn't come back, and the nurse said I would have my results next week or so, unless they marked it urgent, which no one thought would happen as this is one of the biggest treatment centers in my state. But apparently it did, as I got my results less than 48 hours after. The results were CIN3 with carcinomas and I was suggested to have LEEP percedure ASAP, which was schedule March 13, but I cancelled. I was miffed at the doctors aloofness and wanted a second opinion, but would have to wait 5 weeks. So I scheduled an appointment to talk with Dr Arrogance again. This appointment is tomorrow. Monday I have a follow up with my doctor, the soonest I could see her as she left the country the day I got my biopsy results, and she gets back on Friday. I was extremely lucky to get that appointment! But my symptoms are getting worse - and fast. When people ask me how this happened, my response is a weary "I do not know, I was healthy until the night I wasn't." But that's not entirely true. Just over 10 years ago, I had sex with a boy (he pressured me, blackmailed me). It was protected but apparently HPV can be spread even with a condom. Something they do not teach in sex ed. Afterwards, I found out he had HPV (about year later, he had given it to another girl. Considering she only had sex with him, I am sure this is where I contracted the virus). Knowing this, it has had 10 years to become cancer. Plenty of time. Sex began to hurt, slightly at first, and then grew over the years ever so slightly until about 2.5 years ago - then it became so bad I began to avoid sex - and it was gotten worse. 2 weeks ago I had sex and it was horrible, horrible pain. For days I was hurting. Now I'm on my period, and the use of tampons is excruciating. CIN3 doesn't have these symptoms, I am fearful that it is much deeper than this.