Hi I’m new here and just wanted to get a few things off my chest and get a bit of moral support from you brave and lovely ladies! I will start from the beginning…
Since I was 20/21 years old (I’m 24 now!) I have always had this HUGE worry about cervical cancer. No idea why, I just have! I suffer badly with Health Anxiety so that does not help at all!
I used to be on the pill, and when I was I occasionally spotted mid cycle. Went to numerous doctors for this and all said it was fine. Last year my anxiety really flared up so I went for some routine swabs at my GP’s following their advice. When the nurse was taking the swabs she said she noticed I had a cervical erosion which I believe is really common so I didn’t worry too much; but it was the GP’s guidelines to refer me to a gynecologist. So I went there and he said it was an erosion and left it there.
Me being me still didn’t believe him so I paid privately to see a gynecologist who also didn’t seem concerned and just said I had a cervical erosion. I paid for a smear - but the results came back inconclusive (this was Feb 2015) and was advised to come off the pill to see if that relieved any symptoms.
Since then I have come off the pill and I have had no spotting at all which I’m trying to see as a positive! I do however have a discharge everyday (sorry, TMI!!) but I know I have had this for at least 3/4 years so I’m trying not to worry about that as surely if it was something more sinister it would have got worse or shown other symptoms?!!
But recently my anxiety is back with a vengeance and I am worried again about having cervical cancer! I went to my GP and explained all this so he did an internal examination and said all he could see was a cervical erosion and he wasn’t concerned at all. And of course they can’t do a smear because I am under 25!
I have made another appointment for tomorrow to have a private smear as I cannot worry about this until I am 25 - it is taking over my whole life.
I just keep thinking the worst case scenario and that I have all the risk factors. I lost my virginity at age 15 and I do smoke and have done since I was about the same age, 15. Stupid I know, but smoking is the only thing that can keep my anxiety under control. My plan is if my smear comes back fine I can really concentrate on getting my anxiety under control and stop smoking! But until then I just keep thinking 'whats the point in quitting if I am going to have this, this and this. I feel like I am constantly battling against myself.
I am just so worried as you can probably tell and just keep thinking at the very very least I have severe abnormal cells So sorry for the HUUGGEEE message, just really felt like I needed to get all this off my chest!
Any advice would greatly be appreciated!
Lots of love xx