New and terrified!

Hi ladies, 


i had had my first smear in May 2013. Was positive for HPV and I had mild changes - I went for a colposcopy and all was normal, no biopsies taken. Unbeknown to be I was actually pregnant at this time with twins. I lost them in December 2013 and then fell pregnant again very quickly and had my daughter in October 2014. I waited the normal 12 weeks and booked for a smear and also went onto the mini pill. I had to push back my smear a few weeks due to break through bleeding as I'd fprgotten the odd pill. Anyway I went for my smear 3 weeks ago (I live in Germany as my husband is in the army so smear results take longer than being in uk!) got my results back yesterday with a severe result. Doctor never mentioned anything about HPV This time. However I have my colposcopy in a German hospital (which is the norm here) at 12:30 today and I am terrified. 

From loosing the twins I am so incredibly anxious all the time and have abit of PND. I just sat and googled last night and absolutely terrified myself. I am more concerned that if it's not a very very bad result - about the pain, pain from the biopsies and potential treatment. last time when I only had the vinegar and the iodine it stung so I'm dreading the other stuff. Anyone have any positive or reassuring things for me? I've done nothing but cry for 24 hours. I'm so scared and I have only my husband here, no family or anything. I feel so alone :(

Hi :-) just want to say that you're not alone and there are lots of women going through similar things as you on this forum who can help and support you. I'm not sure what they will do at your colposcopy, but if your changes are severe, it'll either be a biopsy or lletz treatment or both! I've had the biopsy and it didn't hurt at all! I also need to have a lletz in a few weeks, I'm not looking forward to it but it's not supposed to hurt as it's done under anaesthetic. I'm also alone in this country except for a few friends and a (not very supportive) boyfriend. All my family is in France (I live in London). If you need to ask more questions don't hesitate! Good luck with the colposcopy, keep us posted! X

The joy of army life, eh! My oh is also armed forces and I have had treatment all over the country. Please don’t worry. It’s unlikely the result will be very bad. They will probably apply the solution to identify where the problem is and then take biopsies. It is not that painful, might really just sting a little. Just tell them you are really scared, explain your history and they will do their best to make you feel comfortable. Also if you do have to come back for more treatment, ask whether you can take smth prior to it to relax yourself a bit. It’s a pain being on your own. I always explain that I’m scared and take chocolate with me to pick myself up afterwards. Also you might not have a friend close by you could take with you, but you could call one maybe to discuss what is happening. You’ll be surprised at how many then come back with their own story! Good luck and my very best wishes. X

Thank you :) I think my anxiety is making it all seem worse than it is. But I also have a fear of the pain. lots of ladies here seem to have not had much but the other women who post on the internet make it sound the same as getting your leg removed. 

Think my fear is that the 14 months of being pregnant I had will have progressed things. After my loss I have only just got my little girl and I don't want to go anywhere anytime soon. It sucks being the generation before the HPV vaccine :( 


sorry im in having such a little pity party for myself. I've been in and out of hospitals and had so many things go wrong and everytime I've been in the oh that hardly ever happens catagory so I'm worried why now would be any different. 


I really hope it's not as bad as I think. 

I was also pregnant after a cin diagnosis and I had to wait until after delivery for treatment. It had not progressed because it progresses slowly. It’s normal to fear the worst. Make sure you treat yourself to a nice magazine, cup of tea, and something chocolatey once the colposcopy is done.

Thank you all. Had 2 biopsies taken. She said she doesn't think it's really bad but we shall see when I get the results. Just feel alittle sore now. Hubby took me to Pizza Hut after to cheer me up lol. Honestly the biopsies didn't hurt, I could feel it but it was only small. Thank you all again :)