New and scared...

Well to start off my name is Candi, and honestly I’m a little lost with some news I got Thursday… I guess I’m more scared than anything and not sure who to turn to… So I figure I can turn to you lovely ladies… I’ve read quite a few post here looking up symptoms and stuff like that. Not gonna lie I feel like a complete idiot when it comes to all these cc terms not gonna lie… Anyways on to my story, question, any helpful nice words I go… So I went for a pap a couple weeks ago everything was going ok I thought till the doc got a very serious look on his face and asked if I’d ever had an abnormal one… I said no and then he asked if any one in my family had cc… Which I replied no to again… So he told me my stuff would be sent off and he would call if more test need to be ran if something came back… Ok and just a side not idk if he can tell by just looking if something was wrong but the look on his face wasn’t good… Anyways I just pushed it off as nothing till Thursday I got a call to come in for a colposcopy? Well she explained a bunch of stuff about cells or something. Honestly not gonna lie when she mentioned the word cancer I don’t remember anything else of the convo… But me being me I was worried about missing work and had the scope thing pushed to a later date… Now I’m worried that when they do that scope thing they will find cc… I mean I know there is plenty of things they can do to help or get rid of anything there is but I’m scared… Like I’ve read people’s symptoms and it’s like hitting me all in the face of why didn’t I see this before… So I’m fairly young according to doctors 24 and any problem I’ve had downstairs they have just pushed off… So here’s a little back story on those problems… I’ve had heavy bleeding for a long time since I was 13 probably… They always put me on bc didn’t work so I finally got tired and just dealt with it. Had my first full term baby at 21… ( love of my life, def a miracle to me) after her I bleed for a year straight. Put me on depo, and I got hospitalized due to almost bleeding to death… Well once again My health because I was young to them got pushed off on another bc. Which did help some and of course the heavy bleeding with huge blood cots came back again and much worse… Finally some time last year I got a new gyno who I’m not gonna lie I pretty much broke down in his office begging him to help me cause I couldn’t do all the bleeding and pain I was in… Oh also had many cyst in that time… So he finally helped me and went in and did a nova sure surgery… While he was in there he removed both tubes because he said they had so many lessions on them he couldn’t just leave them in there… He also then told me it looked like I had some std for a while and he couldn’t wrap his head around how I wouldn’t have noticed it. But like I told him I’ve never had an std and have been to every screening I was supposed to have because of all the bleeding and it all came back fine for all of that… Now back to Thursday got that call to do the screening… She mentioned something about cancerous cells and the of course assured me it could be nothing… Or maybe I heard that in my head or just keep telling myself that… I’m sure it’s nothing… But part of me don’t want to believe it’s nothing. I honestly believe the signs have been there all this time and because of my age they just pushed it off until now… And also since that surgery I haven’t had any bleeding so maybe they could get accurate test… Which I’m not gonna lie I’ll take this heavy discharge over heavy bleeding and blood clots the size of golf balls or bigger any day! I honestly feel like I’m going crazy… Like any helpful words or even your own personal stories would be helpful. Of course that is if you don’t mind… And Im sure I’m worrying about nothing… It’s just I have a little girl to think about. Her dad( which she didn’t know much of) killed himself back in April a week before Easter, and honestly I guess I’m scared and worried that I’ll find out I have cancer… I’m all she has besides grandparents… I guess I really just need someone to shed some light on these things or just someone I can vent to who partly understands what I might be going through… Anyways sorry for all the grammatical errors and thank you to anyone who reads this or wants to share their story with me… Or just some encouraging words…

Also yes I know I could be something other than cancer. Either way I'm still scared of what they will tell me.. 

Hi Candi,

My name is Natalie and I am in a similar boat to you in that I have also had results from a smear (pap) on Friday which really shook me up. They said that I have some high risk cells which are potentially pre-cancerous in my cervix. I totally panicked and although I am usually hugely positive, I thought the worst and didn't know what to do. Firstly,  you are not alone and it's okay to not 100% this stuff, I find it confusing too! I have always struggled with my periods and at times have pain during sex. Stupidly, I have ignored it and even put off going for a smear test for a few years, which I now regret! Anyway, I am telling you this to encourage you to get this sorted out quickly so you can move on with your life. I have my colposcopy on Tuesday and that will tell me more about my situation. I really think you should get yours booked in, although like me, you might be dreading it. 

Try not to worry, only a fraction of women with cervical abnormalities go on to develop cancer. They will need to remove the cells which are not behaving properly and could be dangerous and then you will need regular checks to check they have all gone. 

I wish you lots of luck and if you need any advice- this website is a great place for that! 

Take care, 

Natalie x