Need calming down!

I had 3 generations in the family  (mum, nanna, great nanna) who have all had hysterectomy in their 20s due to cancer or cancer cells. I'm 25 had my first smear which showed cgin. Consultant tried doing colposcopy but said a large area was covered in abnormal cells (90%) so last week I had GA for a cone biopsy. I'm going out my mind with worry. I keep playing over in mg head them telling me I have cancer and that if has spread. I have a nearly 6 year old and a 4 month old and i don't want to leave them without a mum. I feel like all this is just karma for being so awful growing up. Currently on maternity leave I was working in a hospice so I think that scares me more. Please someone calm me down I feel literally sick to my stomach that I'm gunna find out I'm going to die. I can't get it out of head!

Sorry that you are so upset about this. I understand why you are feeling like this especially given your family history. I would wait and see what the results of the cone biopsy are first. I know it's easy to get yourself in a right state over things but just see what they have got to say first. I hope for your sake and your family's sake that you are okay. If you do have cancer they will explain the best way to move forward with this. Im sure that your family and friends are all behind and just keep on thinking about :) Good luck!!

Hi Hettiee

dont worry !! 

i know thats easier said than done but honestly you are in the best possible hands !

do you know if you have HPV positive result ? because if you do there are some herbel type treatements you can try such as AHCC/ vitamin C to fight the infection. 

If you dont then you are even less likely to develop cervical cancer in the long run, although I understand it runs in your family that's not everything.

I know a  few ladies who have had abnormal cells after having babies and have had them removed and no sign of them now, if worse comes to worse you have picked it up at the earliest opportunity and there are plenty of treatments out there for this. 

try to look after yourself by eating well and taking time to rest (is thats possible for you with two children) attend your appts and the DR's will do all they can for you.

all the best ! 


I totally understand why you are worried. I too have a family history of cancer (though not CC specifically) so it was haunting me every day until I got those results. All I can say is keep busy during the day (as a new mom I'm sure this isn't a problem for you!) and seek support from family and friends. I know this can be tough to do but that's what they are there for. For me my worst anxiety came at night so I started listening to meditation videos on YouTube. I would just shut out the lights, lie there and listen. Sometimes I'd cry throughout most of the video but it was a good cry and actually helped me cleanse my mind a little before bed. You can do this. Best of luck!

Thankyou all so much that's so reassuring for me, even just talking for people that understand! My mum had abnormal cells from 14, Had me at 28 and a hysterectomy at 29 but it was so long ago that I don't think she remembers all the worry. 

It's such a crappy situation for anybody to be in but I look at my boys and just think if anything was to happen they don't deserve that? Breaks my heart trying to enjoy my time with my little baby wondering all these things. 

Everyone has been so vague with me, I don't even know about my HPV. My smear showed querying of the cgin I think, when I went for my colposcopy he said this was rare to show on the smear, When he did the colposcopy he was going to do a biopsy but said 90% was covered in cells so booked me in for GA. I woke up after the op on Wednesday and didn't speak to anyone the nurse said they did a cone biopsy and lletz but that's all I know. It's the not knowing I find worse, id rather know every single detail! 

Sorry for the long essays droning on! Thankyou for all the advice xxx

Sorry to hear you have had a rough time and going out of you mind with worry, but just know that you can turn to this forum when ever you need to rant or even just want that support. I hope you get you results soon I waited between 2-3 weeks for my colposcopy results and know they are the longest weeks of your life. I too have family history of CC so I can understand your worry there is nothing worse. I'm 2 weeks into my wait for my results I had the same as you cone biopsy and LLETZ done under GA, and with this being our first smear (I'm also 25) it seems so unfair and you feel like will things ever get better but they will,  these tests are to put a stop to these nasty cells and we just have to think positive. Again I have a little boy and it worries me to think if anything ever happened to me so I know exactly how you feel, your not alone x

I know how hard it is to talk to people about it but if you ever need to talk myself and all these lovely ladies are hear to turn too. 

All the best x


July 2017 - Smear - low grade abnormalities and hpv 

July 2017- colposcopy - biopsy taken

10th August - biopsy results CIN 3 and hpv 

19th August - cone biopsy and lletz under GA 

**Awaiting results **


Thanks Snoopy, and sorry to hear you are going through the same thing. Please keep me updated on your results when you get them, I have everything crossed that it's all ok