Need a moan

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post on here, so bare with me. I was diagnosed with cc last April and was rushed in for radical hysterectomy, after that to my shock it had spread to quickly and I had to have the chemoradiation as well, I had a really bad time and developed blood clots one was so close to my heart I was not allowed to leave hospital until it started to clear, this has caused me quite a lot of pain which they say is scaring from the clots and could take a while to heal. The radiation has also put me full blown into the menopause n I’m only 33, I have also been re scanned because they have found a lump in my neck which I’m waiting to have biopsys on, I see a counsellor every fortnight who is great, what I can’t deal with is the thought of going back to work I have all on looking after my 3 beautiful children 9,6 and 1. I am so sorry for this moan but I’m really struggling and all work keep saying is I need to go in and have meetings on my progress this just makes me more stressed out. Is anyone else not wanting to return to work or am I being just lazy :frowning: xx

Oh Sugarlump - you've had a terrible time and you are quite entitled to moan. You are not lazy and I don't think work should be pressurising you. I don't know enough about employee rights but it seems to me you might not be well enough to go back yet and could do with some advice on what to do. Maybe Macmillan would have some good advice? What does your counsellor think? 

Also, are you getting any help with the menopause? Until I went through it and read up about it I had no idea it was quite so debilitating for so many women. I think a huge swathe of the population just think, "There, there, dear. Pull yourself together" and that doesn't help matters. It doesn't help us take ourselves seriously, that's for sure. 

Look after yourself, be kind to yourself and check out Macmillan for some advice.  :)



Hi Sugarlump :-)

I agree wholeheartedly with everything that Kirsty has said above. Your life is so much more important than your job. It seems to me that your employers are being completely unreasonable and showing a shocking lack of understanding. Even if you never go back to work again being a full-time mum for three small children is quite enough strain and responsibility for even the healthiest young woman, so do not allow anybody to put stupid and irrelevant pressures on you. If I were closer I'd come and give your boss a punch on the nose!

Be lucky :-)

Totally agree with all of the above.Wise ladies ;-)

Take all the time you need.They have no rights

to ask anything of you and you have all the rights

to say you are not well and you will not be back at

work till you are.You have legal rights.Talk to macmillan

they are fab with that sort of thing.

The first time I got cancer I couldn't face going back in the

end and did something totally different.This time I've had

to loose my buisness and concentrate on been the best I

can be.

A consultant I worked for said"Work is something you do

when you can manage everything else" Wise words.

I appreciate some people have no choice to push on

when they are not ready,which is just a dreadful place to

be,but if you can manage financially,then sounds to me

like you work full time anyway been a Mum.;-))

Take care and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Becky x 

Thanks ladies, I'm going to go in for the work meeting Tuesday and will tell them I'm not ready yet mentally or physically yet and if I lose my job sod it, they'll be plenty more when im up to it. I really apprecia the advise. 

Much love to you all

Stacy sugarlump7

Hi, get signed off by the doctors they can't say or do nowt then, if they do sack you you can take them court under unfair dismissal. If they give someone else your job but keep you on as employed then there is little you can do.

i am the same as you with having pains it's driving me crazy!! I keep getting really painful twinges in my foof that makes things really difficult such as walking, it's getting me down also and causing me a lot of discomfort. Painkillers don't take it away so I don't know if it's phycological i cant spell lol.

i returned to work this month only because I needed the money and also because I was going to go mad being off - also my mum thought it was an invite to come down every day! It wasn't! I too am going through the menopause and  am 28, no children neither did I want them.

chin up and do what is best for you and your children x