My Wife is accusing me of cheating as she had HPV

So my wife has been very quiet with me recently, eventually I get her to open up and she has been investigating a prior diagnosis of HPV. We have been married since 2007 and in or around 2019/2020 she had a positive smear test for HPV, 4 years on the smear is now clear. She informed me that she must of caught it from me as previous smears were clear, although from my frantic research it looks like it wasn’t tested earlier on. Any way she thinks it came from me. She tells me mens HPV clear up within 2 years and now that she is clear of it, I must of given it to her around the time of her last smear in 2019 20 ish (or 2 years prior I guess) So is accusing me of cheating, which I 100% know I haven’t. Ive read loads of items in the last couple of hours, but I am not a expert but from my understanding, she could of had this for years undetected and or dormant, and that in 2019 for some reason her ( or mine if I had it) became active before the smear, and has now either cleared it self up or has gone dormant again? can some one help me talk some sense into her with some facts? she is a very logical person, said she has ready everything and I must of cheated.

I am so sorry that you’re having to go through this and having to justify yourself. All I can add is the NHS only rolled out testing for HPV from 2019, so before then smears never tested for HPV so that would make sense as to why she only saw HPV in her 2019/2020 smear - as they never tested for this before.

NHS website states:

'You can have HPV for many years without it causing problems.

You can have it even if you have not been sexually active or had a new partner for many years.’

So she could have had this for many many years, and because they weren’t testing for it in previous smears, she wouldn’t have known. Some people also really struggle to clear HPV , me included. 2 years to clear HPV is not just for men it’s for females too.

Hopefully she has cleared the HPV, however smears aren’t totally accurate. I have read on this forum several times women having to get audits carried out on their smear tests because results haven’t been fully accurate.

I would really suggest she contact someone on Jo’s cervical cancer trust helpline to help her with processing the information. The last thing I thought when I was told I had HPV was that my fiance cheated on me, it’s a virus most people end up with in their lives. We’ve been together 6 years now however i could have caught this 10 years ago.

I have also just found this information which has been stated on the linked website:

https://www.cancer.org.au/cervicalscreening/i-am-over-25/what-does-my-test-result-mean/what-about-my-partner

HPV can stay in the body for 10-20 years. Finding out you have HPV doesn’t mean you or your partner have been unfaithful.

you can have HPV for a long time without ever knowing it, finding out you have HPV doesn’t mean you or your partner have been unfaithful. it is difficult to know who gave you HPV, both because the virus is so common and because it can remain dormant in cells for more than 10 years before becoming active.

I really hope this helps.

Heather

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