Hello all
I've been a little quiet on here of late. I have finished all my treatment and I guess I just wanted to put cancer as far to the back of my mind as humanly possible for a little bit.
but now I do feel ready to share my experiences in the small hope that someone takes a little bit of comfort or reassurance from it. It's a long post but in my true organised self I have paragraphed it so that you can skip to applicable bits :)
Decision making at 1b2
so firstly I wanted to address that horrendous grey area between a RH and Chemorads. Initially I was staged at 2b and was told I wouldn't be given the option of surgery. I was then later downgraded to 1b2 and the surgeon advised that he 'thought' it was operable although he couldn't be sure until he opened me up, through research and speaking to the nurses and my oncologist it seemed likely that some chemorads would be needed even after surgery to 'mop up' I was given the option of RH or going straight for chemo and radiotherapy and brachytherapy. I chose the latter and let me tell you most people thought I was mad but I went with my gut. Believe me when I say there really is no right or wrong on this, well in my opinion and everyone situation is different, listen to advice of your doctors and those around you but ultimately it's your body going through it and whatever you choose will be what's right for you! Trust yourself!
Chemo/radiation
I am putting these together because for the most part the treatment was largely uneventful. I had one incident where my blood pressure dropped through the floor and consequently I passed out and needed up in an ambulance but I was fine once rested and was made to promise not to over do it! Now again I appreciate it's different for everyone but I think it's nice to hear that not everyone has a bad time.. after my trip to the hospital (week 1) I had not much in the way of side effects. I didn't lose my appetite, I wasn't sick, I had very very few bouts of diarrhoea (fixed with immodium) the worst effect I had was feeling tired and honestly in the five weeks I did very little. All praise to those who carried on as normal out of choice or necessity.. I was fortunate to have kids that could pretty much sort themselves and a husband who waited on me hand and foot and supplied me with a tailor made diet depending on what I was lacking week to week. I have to say I totally believe that being able to rest in that way made al the difference. Honestly for me chemo and radio were totally fine. Take sweets to chemo because when they start to put it through you can taste it and that would freak me out. Radiotherapy is completely painless but prepare to be more aware of your bladder capacity than you ever felt possible!!!
Brachytherapy
the big one - I need to say that I was absolutely petrified of this, especially as I had never been under GA and was convinced it wouldn't work on me and I would be awake and frozen but be able to feel it or even worse that I wouldn't wake up!! I was scared of waking up with the rods in and having to lie still and in pain and then scared of them taking them out and the pain of that so basically I was terrified of every part of it. when I went to my pre assessment my heart rate was so high they almost couldn't accept me as a patient but they agreed that it was anxiety! Now again I know that all hospitals are different and I think I was very fortunate again to have such an amazing team. (Velindre in Cardiff) I had brachy once a week for three weeks as a day patient. I went in at 7am and by 8:30 I was suited and booted (in my hospital gown and sexy socks) and wheeled down to theatre.. my anaesthetist had already asked my favourite music and so lady gaga was playing as I got my dose of gin and tonic (anaesthetic) then I woke up back in the word with a dry mouth and no pain!! I was drowsy from the GA and so I mostly drifted in and out of sleep, I was checked on and if I was in any pain (I only ever suffered from mild discomfort of the catheter and never once even felt the rods) and even with that I was given liquid morphine and that was fine. It was totally manageable! Now to the treatment (after about 4 hours) this I believe does differ from hospital to hospital but basically I was wheeled to the treatment room and put back to sleep... I woke up back in the ward all done. Had a sandwich and a cup of tea.. had a wee and then off home I went. It was in no way as horrid as I had it in my mind and so I would definitely say to at least go to the pre assessment before deciding not to go ahead with it especially if it's just fear (understandably) that's stopping you.
so that's my story and I'm not even sure if it's helpful or not but I know I probably read every single thread on this forum so maybe one more won't hurt. Incidentally at my last MRI the tumour was reported as melted away that was week 4 of chemorads (even before brachytherapy stared) so I am ever hopeful that my 3 month check up will be NED . I'll try and stay in touch
take care and all the best of thoughts for you all strong beautiful brave women
xx
