Mum just diagnosed

Hi everyone, 

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right section to be posting this? Forums are all very new to me. I just wanted to get some advice and reassurance from people that are going through the same thing. My mum has just been diagnosed with cc and is taking it quite badly. I have not got much idea of how much is known, she is very reluctant to talk about it. I know she's had a smear and then a biopsy appointment, she might of had more and not told me, but we do not know what grade it is yet.

We are currently waiting for an oncology appointment and I firstly want to know how long this could take? We've been waiting for about 2 weeks now, last week we got a phone call to say one would arrive in the post but still no sign. Is this something we should chase up?

I also want to know what happens next? How long will it take for us to know the stage and what treatments are avaiable? 

I also was wondering if anyone could give me any advice on how to make my mum feel better. I live about 3 hours away from home and she's rang me to tell me about it and basically told me that everything was fine, she was getting better and it was unlikely to be cancer, I went home last weekend and found out the truth and it completely devastated me because I completely convinced myself that everything was going to be alright. She's pretending to be dealing with it fine, but she's not. She had a few drinks on saturday night and it all came out, she's convinced herself it's terminal and my younger brother told me she even took an overdose last week. I tried to speak to her and reassure her saying we didn't know how far it was and that it might be okay and we could get through it and then she told me how she did not want any chemotherapy or radiation and told me basically to prepare myself for the worst. What makes this even harder is that she's not telling anyone about it. She hasn't told my other siblings, only me and her husband and her sister know. I took a few days off work and stayed at home, but hardly saw her as she has been staying at work late and then goes to bed very early. I really just want to be there for her and her to feel like she can talk to me but I don't know what I can do. I'm back in London again now but going back to Bristol tomorrow after work for the weekend. Has anyone got any advice or perspective that they can pass on to me. Thanks so much. 


Hi Amber,

My mum has been diagnosed with cc almost 2 months ago. It has been a hell of ride, and it's long from over. I'm not sure what stage she is in. The doctors didn't tell me, and when I asked, they said probably 4. Which is bad, very bad. However, she does not have it in her lungs or liver, just her cervix and in other parts of the womb. 

It's just my mum and I, so I am very scared. If I loose her, I don't have anyone left. This means I've been with her to every appointment, every chemo etc.. They started with chemo right away, and that scares me too. Most of what I read, they do the operation first and after that chemo. With her they wanted to do chemo first, and if that works, they will do the operation. I don't get it.

Just try to be there for your mom, if possible, go with her to the hospital, give her hugs, try to stay over a lot, make her something to eat (try to make it as healthy as possible, food is so important to get healthy again...)

I'm not good at talking to her about it either, and I don't know if she wants to talke about it. I know she told a close friend/neighbour and I know that woman is visiting her often, I just hope your mom can find a friend to talk to as well. That is maybe sometimes easier than talking to family..

I also feel that it all takes so long... She just had her third round of chemo, and on Tuesday she has had a scan to see if the chemo worked. Our next appointment is next Friday. That is more than a week later. It's a week of feeling like sh*t. A week of being scared. It's also making her think the worst. I feel that the cancer has another whole week to 'spread'...

Annie x


so sorry for ur mums news. Do u think u can direct her to this forum? There is so much stuff on here from past few months that could help her mentally enormously, direct her to newly diagnosed and treatment parts, especially posts from sept and October as I know a lot were made then

try to get ur mum to talk about it as much as possible and tell her that this is not the end, cc has a high survival rate and all the treatment that goes with it is doable, she can do it, there are so many people on here who have and know what she is going through.

after diagnosis I had my MRI a week later which verifies the stage. If it is stage 1 or stage 2a she will most probably be offered surgery, a radical hysterectomy. If it is any further along then it will be chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I can understand why she is absolutely petrified of the treatment but with you all with her, support from people who know what she is going through on here and by talking to her designated nurse (who she should have met at diagnosis and have a contact number for) she may be able to move forward with a more positive mind.

it is often easier to write things down to complete strangers on here knowing they have experienced what you are going through than talking to people close to you who are hurting too so see if you can get your mum on here, asking the questions that scare her, etc.

i hope this has been a little bit of help. Please ask anything or PM me. Good luck xxx dons