Saw my consultant for first follow up on weds. All good, healing well with no sign of recurrence (how he can really tell with a 5 second look up my foof, I'm not sure!) and next appt in 3 months with an MRI before I see him. Got some of my questions answered but did feel pressured to get out of there! Like many others, I also found out that my LLETZ got everything out, which is weird as by the time I got my diagnosis of cancer, I no longer had it! I am now feeling even more like I am coping very badly with the emotional side of things. Still not back at work, getting signed off for another 4 weeks, still have a moderate amount of wound and hip pain which won't help in my job. However, tomorrow I am starting on a 6 week stress management course through a cancer support centre, and am also on their waiting list for individual counselling. I'm also really recognising that I'm really not looking after myself, with a nearly 2 stone weight gain and letting my alcohol consumption get a little out of hand. So tomorrow I'm also starting a detox, cutting out sugars and alcohol for a few weeks. Really want to do some yoga but not sure the finances will stretch to it at mo. Also, I've signed up for a marathon length walk next year so that will encourage me to get out walking a bit more.
Basically, I felt ready to start taking control of myself again. I feel this shouldn't have had this big of an impact in my life, but I've let it rule me. No more. I'll be honest, I still very much lack motivation to do all these things I've said, but I feel ready now to push myself, otherwise I think I'm going to face falling into full on depression. Thank you ladies for being a place of support, advice, information and friendship. It helps knowing I'm not alone xx
(Apologies for any typos, I smashed my tablet (oops) and struggle writing on my phone.)