Mental health after Lletz

So after my first ever smear test (Dec17) a colposcopy with 5 biopsies taken (Jan18), CIN 3 diagnosed and Lletz treatment (Feb18) I moved to Cyprus for work but recently received a letter to my UK address advising that I need to have my follow up smear test as it has been 6 months since my Lletz procedure and they need to check that everything has returned to normal. 

I knew I would need this but I had put everyrhing to the back of my mind when I moved and was back in a happy place. Whilst waiting for results of colposcopy/lletz I had sleepless nights, serious anxiety and was crying a lot. I would re-live the procedure, which actually wasn't painful but to me was traumatising. So I booked in to a local gynaecologist for a Pap test and after explaining my history had a smear taken this afternoon. I felt a little nervous getting back in the horrible stirrups but it was quick and over before I knew it. After paying my €110 bill (appreciate the NHS whilst you have it!!), I left and got in my car to drive home.

2 minutes later I found I couldnt breathe, I was all of a sudden crying and gasping for breathe. I have never experienced anyrhing like it before. I had to pull over on the highway because I was hyperventilating and my vision began to blur. I called my mum (embarrassing at the age of 26!) She had to tell me when to breathe in and out for at least 5minutes before my breathing regulated and my vision returned to normal. I was dripping with sweat and totally shaken.

I have a 1 week wait for my results and although the Dr said everything looked healthy, I'm terrified it won't be and I'll have to go through the whole process of colposcopy/Lletz again. It was a really dark time for me and I'm concerned at the effect this has had on me and my mental health.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I have never experienced depression or anxiety before. After receiving the first letter from my abnormal smear in Jan it has been something I have had to battle with. When I moved to Cyprus 4 months ago ir was a fresh start and I thought it was behind me but worried now it will begin to creep back into my life. Looking for some advise and comfort.

Meg x


13th Dec 2017 - 1st smear age 25

2nd Jan 2018 - results back: mild cell changes and positive HPV

19th Jan 2018 - colposcopy and 5 punch biopsies 

5th Feb 2018 - results back: CIN3, LLETZ treatment required

19th Feb 2018 - LLETZ treatment

8th March 2018 - results: no evidence of CC, back in 6months to check all gone

8th August 2018 - follow up smear taken in Cyprus...awaiting results

Hiya my timings and age are pretty similar to yours... 

I definitely found similar after my second colposcopy and punch biopsies. I remember walking through the Tube a few days later and I couldn't stop crying ! It passed quite quickly though when I received my letter a few weeks after saying I had a LLETZ scheduled I found I did have niggling stress. 

I just had my LLETZ this morning and it was so much better than I expected. I went to my GP first and got 5mg of diazepam which I took pre appointment...god knows what I'd be like if I hadn't as I was fine until I got into the room then burst into tears immediately! I didn't find the procedure painful but got myself in such a state I was crying nonstop and like you thought I couldn't breathe, took my fiance and the nurses all holding my hand and telling me to breathe to get through it... Silly as it didn't hurt and I couldn't really feel it I was just so emotional and stressed...


I would say go to yourGP and get some diazepam if you can't sleep as I was at least relaxed on my way in and feel breezy right now. It really helps your anxiety and as a short term solution for a week or so could get you through til results?? 


It's all crappy I'm so sorry!