losing my hair

Hiya, I was diagnosed back in March. Just started undergoing my second lot of treatment as was unsuccessful first time round.
So it’s two weeks after my first cycle of chemo and my hair is falling out thick and fast. Up until now I have always joked with loved ones about going bald, I guess as a way of not facing it head on.
Anyway I already have my wig but I’m just so scared. Just really don’t know what my next step should be? Should I just shave it off? Or wait until it’s thinner? What will it look like if I just leave it to thin out?
I haven’t tried out and forums up until now and have sort of bottled things up from loved ones. It’s hard when they only really know a little of what I’m going through…
If any one has any advice on the issues i have discussed it would be greatly appreciated. It feels like it is really starting to get real now that my appearance is starting to change. At least before I still looked like myself so I could still act like myself even though I was anything but.
I look forward to chatting to people in the same boat as me.
Speak soon
Alannah x

So sorry to read this Alannah
(((((HUGS)))))
I have not been in the same boat as you though I know plenty who have. Mostly they seem to opt for the shave but in truth it's all down to individual choice. It has to be said, I've never seen a bald woman who didn't look absolutely fantastic!
Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Hi hunni, I've been there so I can help.

my hair use to be half way down my back and really really thick - I miss it :-)

my hair began to come out in lumps after my 1st chemo I think and it was hard then it really started to come out after my 2nd session - I was sat in my room brushing my hair trying to do something with it and huge lumps where just coming out in my hand. I gave up and screamed and then begun to cry. I too use to joke about being bald and not having such annoying hair but it really got to me really got yo me. As the inevitable had begun I cut my hair short so I didn't look like a weirdo with about 3 strands of long hair lol. Then when it begun to thin even more and the bald patches begun to appear I cut it to about an inch as I looked werid lol! Kids would look at me (when my head wasn't covered) as if to say what's going on with you?!?

i had a wig cost me £70 bloody pound!! I only wore it twice as it would keep moving on my head as I lost weight it also made my head itch like mad so it went into the draw where it still is now. I instead decided to wear chemo hats (think that's what there called) there're so comfy, they kept my head warm and you can sleep in them! They're expensive at £16/17 from the hospital (I've got a black and teal coloured one if you want them? I've got no use for them now).

my appearance really changed I looked so poorly but that's because I was the treatment really did not like me! I went down to a size 4 if not smaller and 6st - I'm now a size 6 and put nearly two stone on so I'm getting there :-). I now look like the old me - well starting to my sparkle in my eyes has come back so that's good. You won't look like you whilst going through the treatment as it changes everything! Your taste buds, your toilet movements etc - it's hard but doable.

friends and family unless they have gone through what we have don't understand but be patient with them as its hard on them too. Ask for help don't think people don't want to help because they do - tell people if you feel smothered as your dealing with a lot as it is.

DONT shave your head! You can get I growing hairs and they can become infected - if your skin is anything like mine it will become dry and very sensitive. My scalp was sore at times - don't know why - I kept up my shampoo regime but I swapped to baby shampoo even when I had no hair - it's a lot more gentler.

last piece of advice - listen to your body!

if you have any questions you can come to me I don't mind - I feel like I've gone through it all (except the op) xx

Awww carmel. It's lovely to hear that the sparkle is coming back in your eyes.

It's funny cos I won't have my photo taken until my treatment finishes and I feel better. I think this us a sad time and I don't ever want to be reminded.

Philleepa I am exactly the same! I said I don't want reminding how poorly I was...I've got 2 photos I took of myself on my phone - one when I had lost my hair and one when I was at my lowest - they're horrible to look at but when I get down and think I want to be back to how I was I look at them and then my reflection and I can see how far I have come.

I took a picture of me and my cat the other night and without thinking put it on Facebook cus it was a selfie and the cats fave made me laugh! It got a lot of comments and likes which made me smile as there was no "you look poorly" type comments.

I've gone back work today and I've loved it - been told I've come back too soon but hey Ho x

So glad work went well for you.  I can't wait to get back. I'm so bored. I've only been off a month! 

I was off for 10 months and was really bored! My advice would be to go back part time as you don't realise how tired you get! I only do 5 hours atm and I'm coming home and wanting to sleep not being able sleep at night doesn't help.

How's your treatment going?

So far so good carmel. I'm only in week one so we'll see. I don't feel I can go back to work until (hopefully ) I get my all clear. Because I'm a self employed childminder I don't feel it's fair to take on children only to have to give them notice if I have to start back treatment again. 

I might try to get standby work in the local nursery 

So far so good carmel. I'm only in week one so we'll see. I don't feel I can go back to work until (hopefully ) I get my all clear. Because I'm a self employed childminder I don't feel it's fair to take on children only to have to give them notice if I have to start back treatment again. 

I might try to get standby work in the local nursery 

I don't blame you about work as it's not fair on yourself either as it is exhausting being at work whilst still not being 100%. I'm ok when I'm at work it's the walking from the bus station to work and back again that gets me it will take some getting use to.

Keep us all updated!