LLETZ Treatment, feeling emotional

Hi,

I started having abnormal bleeding summer 2014, this would often last for 6 weeks at a time. Because I was bleeding after sex too my doctor told me I just needed an STI test. After those results came back negative they suggested I may have miscarried! I felt like there was something wrong so continued going to my doctor right up until December 2014. She refused to give me a smear and said it was probably my pill. I received my customary smear letter in Janurary as I am 25 in July so booked this ASAP. Even taking my smear my cervix was bleeding and the nurse had said I had erosion down there probably due to my pill. My results came back abnormal which I was expecting and within a month I had my colposcopy appointment. The results came back high grade, so I have been booked in for LLETZ treatment on 29th April. I'm naturally annoyed and feel let down by my GP etc, but since my smear I have been reading Jo's Trust and just wanted to say how fantastic all you ladies are on here as it has been easing my mind. As its cervical biopsys, its hard to talk about with people anyway, and all i hear is people saying 'oh its fine i know such and such who had that done' etc etc. I dont really know how I feel about it all, but its nice to know that its ok to feel a bit emotional. I'm not looking forward to the treatment, not because of the pain  just because after my colposcopy I felt quite weary and emotional, and to use a better word, violated, is this normal? Sorry for the massive rant, I suppose as the date is approaching I'm just feeling a bit apprehensive about it all x

 

Hi AnnaRose90,

 

First of all sorry to hear that your doctors weren't listening to you and you had to wait so long for help. Great news that you're booked in for the next round of treatment on the 29th and my fingers are crossed everything comes back all clear!

 

I think it is very normal to feel violated, I felt very exposed when I had my biopsy and just even the thought that something weird is going on inside me and no one seems to react with haste… it all feels very bureaucratic. But in saying that we all must just trust the system and go along with the steps. I have had the same as you, everyone saying “oh that’s so common my sister’s best friends Aunt had that 10 years ago”. I have found it almost condescending and have just decided that even if it is common the experience and the emotions everyone goes through are different and going through months of waiting with a huge WHAT IF?! Hanging over your head is not a common and everyday feeling. Until you go through this yourself it’s hard to understand how emotional it all can be. I have had many nights of crying believe me.

 

Glad you found Jo’s and all the ladies on here are amazing!

 

Bahar

Hi Anna rose 

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this- just to wish you all the best but also that I know exactly how you are feeling and it's not nice..

It's not an easy thing to have done and go through despite people saying its common and not that bad .  Had my LLETZ on 2nd march- still feel like I've  been violated and hated feeling so exposed .. It's kind of put me off relationships lol .. 

This site helped me a lot and the ladies on here are lovely . Hope all goes well

 

Xx

Thank you Ladies, its lovely to talk with people who understand my fears and feelings on this x