I was diagnised with cc recently and am about to start a wholebunch of treatment. I feel isolated and even the information from the hospital makes me feels worse as it doesn't seem to recognise that I exist. I feel continuously violated. I would just like to communicate. with any other lesbians with this disease. Thanks.
I know exactly how isolated you feel. I am the only Englishwoman in Greece with cervical cancer (that I am aware of) and I don't speak Greek. I hope you don't mind my coming along here to say "Hi" even though I am heterosexual. Actually, I don't think I am anymore, I think I would best be described as neuter. Just wanted to say good luck with all your forthcoming treatment, hope it goes well for you.
I am hetero but completely understand your feelings. I think most of us have felt violated with all the various procedures many have been through.
I certainly found my colposcopy and LLETZ upsetting but if you can, please try and think of it as a necessary intrusion. I know of several people who have had colonoscopies and other procedures and found them equally as awful but the thing to remember is that these treatments save lives.
I hope you find someone you can talk to about these feelings which are perfectly justified. As you have been diagnosed have they given you the contact number of a nurse you can talk to? Are you in the UK?
Wishing you all the very best for your upcoming treatment and sending you big hugs
I wanted to say hello because I understand how important it can be to be in touch with people in a similiar situation. I haven't been diagnosed with CC, I have persistent CIN, high risk for CC, and I was hetro but now I'm just now interested in a relationshp with anyone so don't know what I am.
Persistent CIN is rare and so I have some appreciation of the isolation you're describing. I hope you'll be able to find support through this site, and wish you all the best for your treatment.
You may also wish to consider posting this in the CC threads, simply because I once started a thread here in this section to find others with persisitent CIN. Mine was removed (not sure why - there was nothing dodgy on it) and I wouldn't want that to happen to you too.
All the very best to you x
Thanks for your replies, I didn't thfink I would get any. I am sorry and glad that Suzy you mentioned the violation feeling. I had my two kids at home. not because of being some earth mother but because I am scared of hospitals. Having some bloke whos name I dont know shining a torch up my vagina is a big step!
Things like the fact that they have pit 'single' on my form when I am in a civil partnership, and skip the chapter on sexuality and relationships, really hurt me.
Its really niceto here from you. I know that there are lots of reasons why people are isolated and especially with this kind of illness.
Much love, Juley (i am in the uk, nr Bristol)
Nice to see you back. I think I would have had my kids at home too if I was not so terrified of something going wrong. Have you got a treatment plan sorted? How are you doing?
Best wishes and big hugs to you
Hi Suzy, I have finished my first week, 5 lots of radiotherapy and 1 of chemotherapy. Have got 6 weeks of this and brachytherapy. I am very sick but am told it will get worse so trying not to complain too much. However I managed to drag myself out to see my animals this evening.
I am reading your signature - you must be nervous waiting for your appointment in July.
Much love, Juley x
Sounds very gruelling. If you wanted to complain you are more than qualified to do so, and this is a great place to do it.
I'm glad you have been able to get out with your (furry?feathery?) friends. Animals can be pretty therapeutic, apart from when you are really knackered and feeling rotten and they want cleaning out! Hope you have lots of help with them?
Wishing you all the very best for your treatment and recovery from it.
At the moment I am pretty thankful for my brief experience. For my body hinting that something was wrong and the subsequent reconnection I have found to a lot of relationships which kind of got lost over time. Probably sounds a bit too deep for prime time Saturday, but I am thinking of it as a bit of a wake up call. I am sure I will freak out in July (am a bit dramatic!) but really hopeful and positive for the future (Mostly!)
If you want a chat or to complain just a little anytime, feel free to send me a message.
I'm sorry you are having a rough time with the chemo-rads. Are you having an adequate quantity of anti-nausea pills? It's not fun I know but you will probably find when your second week begins that it's becoming a routine and there is a certain comfort from the familiarity of it all. It is exhausting I know, and it's very good for your own well being to push yourself to do the things which give you reward, such as going out to see your animals. Wishing you the best of luck with the rest of it, it'll go quicker than you think :-)
Thanks for your messages, when I say 'animals' I mean that I have got lots of lovely pure bred and hybrid chickens, geese, and a small flock of sheep, four of whom are due to give birth over the next six weeks! I am not too worried about the lambs as only one sheep is a first time mother.
I am not nearly so sick and different people are taking me this week which is quite entertaining in itself.
Unfortunately my fifteen year daughter completely flipped out and has stormed off for the last two nights. Her natural dad died of cancer when she was a toddler and she is very angry with me for being ill. It is all very painful.
Hi again Juley :-)
Sorry to hear about the daughter :-( I think it's tough being fifteen in any circumstances let alone going through all the additional emotional turmoil that she is having to face up to. Have you any treats lined up for after your treatment?
Aha! I have two sheep, not sure if the girl is pregnant, bloody well should be, and the boy is a bit feisty. One cockerel and four hens who have just come back into lay. Two old girls died on New Year's Eve which was a shame but not unexpected. Four cats and a very silly dog. I would love to have some geese, possibly instead of all the others!
what sheep have you got? i just went to check on mine. 2 of them are a bit lame. i will have to get someone to catch them for me.
yesterday i was at the hospital nearly all day. they hadn't order my cisplatin, and i didn't leave until 6.30pm. i was really pissed so i made a bed on the floor with my coat andsome cushions and caught up on sleep! THEN I read what stage my cancer is at by reading it through a see through wallet, that a nurse was holding! I was shocked as I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't think it was that bad. It is stage 3B. I thought it was 2B. I don't know I suppose it doesn't make any difference.
Hi Juley! sorry to hear what you are going through, and sorry to hear you had to make your own bed in hospital on the floor!? thats terrible. Did they not tell you what stage it was at before they started treatment?
i hope the rest of your treatment goes well.
Sorry to hear about your recent experiences, I hope that one day you will look back on it and laugh :-)
I have no idea what sheep we have, random mongrel Greek sheep is my guess. The girl is very pretty, slender black legs and face, off-white wool. The boy is much chunkier and is cafe-latte colour with a couple of apparent faux-nostrils in his cheeks if that makes any sense to you.
Be lucky :-)
Hope you are ok. So sorry you are having a rotten time.
I hope your daughter came back very quickly and gave you a well deserved hug.
That is incredibly bad reading your staging through a plastic wallet! Are you sure you got a good look at it and might not have mis-read it? Most Doctors handwriting is incredibly awful and glanced through something it may have read differently. It is incredible that they would not discuss with you if they have restaged you. It is kind of a big deal either way! Hope you got some clarity on it.
I love the fact that you made a protest bed at the lack of organisation. The treatment sounds gruelling enough without delays and mis-management and somewhere decent to rest. You may not feel it right now but it seems you have a lot of fight in you.
I have heard only wonderful things about the Macmillan nurses and the support they give. They may be able to help your daughter in coming to terms with your illness too.
You sound like you have quite a menagerie. I just about manage with an almost self-sufficient cat! Good luck with the lambing. So pleased the spring is finally in sight...
Wishing you all the best
I am still trying to find aany lesbians with cervical cancer. So if anyone else exists in this situation please just say hello, I have got lots of friends, just want to to find anyone else in a similar situation. Thanks, Juley x
I've been reading your posts and I hope you're ok, your experiences with the hospital sound dreadful.
I feel a bit fraudulent commenting as I haven't been diagnosed with CC, I have a colposcopy booked for a couple of weeks time, so I'm hoping for the best.
I too am gay, so I understand how you feel! I feel very uncomfortable when I have a male doctor performing swabs and tests and so I hope my colposcopy is with a lady.
Wishing you the best
I just wanted to know that I wasn't the only lesbian/ gay person with cervical cancer. I am so glad that you haven't been diagnosed with CC! I hope that the colposcopy goes as well as it can. Thanks for your message.x
I have finished the chemotherapy, external radiotherapy and brachytherapy, so I can just rest and everything back together. Hurray.
Thanks, good luck.
Well done for getting through all that. You sound really positive and certainly deserve some R&R
Eek! The double-post monster has struck again! (dodgy internet connection here tonight ;-)