Late 60's - stage 4 - anyone relate

I am 69 and was diagnosed with stage 4 with one lymph node involved7 minths ago. I denied treatment as I will admit I was more afraid of the treatment than I was of the cancer. A couple of onths ago I had an. Intestinal bug (I thought it was cancer related) and was miserable for a whole month. I decided I would revisit treatment as I had become. Ore afraid of the cancer than the treatment.

My tumor has grown, does not appear to be in any organs, they are concerned about a fistula between bladder and vagina. I go for a cystoscope next week. The doctors and my family want me to start treatment in the next week or so. I am again becoming more afraid of the treatment than the cancer…

Is there anyone in my age group who has gone through this? The radiology dr did tell me that I am ‘lucky’ as I have no ‘competing’ illnesses - I take no mediciations for anything. Hoping for some ‘real’ stories of what to expect. I am a widow.

Hi Dee Dee Does 58 come close?  I think so. Please do the treatment Radio takes 6 weeks and could give you another 20 years. Not sure why you think 69 is old my sister is 72 and admittedly very robust, travelling the world and digging up the garden. Fear is a strange thing but don't let it get in the way of making sensible decisions Jayne

Thank you, I am trying.  i have never been 'sick' - this is throwing me a curve ball.  I am petrified of not because not able to handle the he treatment and trading quality of life. 

Hi there

i wanted to share with you something that might help. I was so scared to start treatment and my first week of treatment I always saw this older lady walking in for her radio, we had similar appointment times. Anyways, I felt so weird that week like I was in a fog and one day we were both waiting as they were behind in the schedule and we started to talk.... long story short she was 73 and was doing the same treatment as I was, I don't remember the stage of her cancer but I was there when she rang the bell that symbolizes the end of treatment. She looked so good and I remember thinking if she could do it so could I!!!!

i believe you can get through this if you. believe in yourself and try to stay positive!!!

Hi DeeDee:

So glad you've found us; this is the place for support and encouragemnet.

If you have a wander around the Treatment board you will see a ton of women who have undergone the treatment that will probably be suggested to you. Each and everyone has been petrified/worried sick/scared/anxious etc etc before treatment started. Each and everyone has coped and most have been relieved that treatment has not been as bad as they had expected. Which is not to say it's a walk in the park, but by all accounts it is doable.  Many women will jump in with their stories and all of them have been where you are right now. You can do this.

You are 69 madam, not 169.  You are healthy as a horse, you have years and years ahead of you to enjoy life. What would your late husband be saying to you now if he was still with you? Your children, your family, your friends all want you happy and healthy and with them. As to quality of life: yes, it will be tough for a while as you have your treatment, but some people on here seem to sail through. I can't speak to that but every women is different. Cross your fingers that you're one of the lucky ones. Plus, I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, but what will your quality of life be if you don't have treatment? 

Your intestinal bug is fate. It showed up to give you second thoughts about treatment. What's the harm in trying? If, for some reason after you start, the treatment is 100x worse than you imagined and you truly can't face continuing, then stop. No one is going to hold a gun to your head. On the other hand, you may find it much easier than you imagined.

You can do this.

much love, t xx

Thank you Lolli and TeresaF - I appreciate the encouragement.  You both sound like my daughter:). She is much better at being positive than i am.  In fact she told me that the intestinal bug was God's way of forcing me to seek treatment, she is a stronger believer than I am and it seems to give her Peace in so many instances.  If my husband were alive he would want me to get treatment, I just feel so alone.  I have 4 children, but my oldest is the only one living in the same State I am in as I moved to her town after my husband died.  She is very busy and has her own family and job and the doctors are an hour from where we live.  She will transport me back and forth, but can't stay with me (she does only live 10 min away), she has attended every doctors appointment and has a job that allows her to work remote, when needed.

I have been looking for reasons to not do the treatment, but you are right, the alternative is not a pleasant one so I might as well try.  The chemo doctor I do not like, I feel she is condescending and rude (my daughter likes her and says she is just very good at what she does and straightforward), the radiology doctor is a very kind man who I feel cares.  I guess I will get a care team anyway and probably only see them periodically.  

I can feel the changes in my body and many days like I am dying, but know that may just be my fear Mixed with the compete exhaustion I have been feeling since I got sick in Sept.  They think I had Giardia and I can tell you that I had explosive diarrhea and vomiting every time I ate for almost a month.  I lost 25 pounds and my energy went to zero, usually, I am not one who sits still.  

Thank you for the encouragement, fear is a debilitating thing.


Hi DeeDee :-)

Don't be afraid :-) This will be easier than you imagine. Please try. I guess there are some smallish people out there who love their granny?

Be lucky :-)

Hi Dee Dee

I am 68 going on 69 and finished treatment 3 weeks ago. I too had never been ill and I was petrified in going forward with

the treatment.

The first couple of weeks were fine but then nausea set in and tiredness Iwas still able to take myself for treatment and I was

given loads of anti nausea medication which took the edge off but I still felt awful .

I took to my bed when I felt like this and slept a lot.The Brachy was fine and now I have to deal with the dilator !!

I feel  pretty well now just some issues with my joints .

Please go for it Really it's not as bad as you're imagining x








Thank you, Annie.  You give me hope.  I just have to keep telling myself, 'you can do this.'.  Congratulations on being done and moving forward.

Promise you'll keep us posted. We're a nosy bunch and we like to know all about your appointments, tests, how you're feeling etc etc. I know this sounds crazy, but it really helps to have Team Jo's Forum on your side. We are great at support, question answering, cheering, sympathizing - you name it, we can do it! It's not the same as if we were all gathered around your kitchen table drinking tea (excuses me, I forgot about Tivoli - wine), but it's pretty close. Plus, we are all over the world, so if you feel low in the middle of the night, someone is up and about somewhere and she'll jump in and chat. 

You are not alone with this; in fact, your Christmas card list just got really really long!

love t xx

Hello deedee

I agree with everyone on here and think theresa said it best. I have not been on here long but these women are truly tremendous deedee they have all the information all the support and so much positivity and alot of laughs and very open and honest. Everyone on here is understanding because we are all on here for the same reason at the end of the day. And I have found it the best place to be. As everyone else said keep us informed on how you are

Love and hugs to everyone 

H xxxxx


Hi deedee ,  sorry for the late response. I'm so glad you've decided to have the treatment .  I was 47 when I was diagnosed but I too was stage 4. treatment was not as bad as you think it's gping to be and the best thing is that it's only a fews weeks. There are a few niggly aches and pains that I live with now but nothing unmanageable 

Thank you all so much.  I really needed this today.  

I went in for a coloscopy to ensure I did not have my bladder involved or a fistula.  The good news is my bladder looks healthy and no fistula was seen.  i experience extreme pain with every exam from the chemo doctor, radiology doctor, and today the urologist.  Today was the worst.  They all look at me like I am crazy and say they don't have patients who experience the velof pain I have during an exam.  I have horrible back pain for weeks after each exam and cannot sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time.  Did anyone else experience this?  I am exhausted and afraid I won't  have the energy to make itnthrough treatment.  

I have one final exam - before treatment starts - on Dec 1 and the chemo doctor is putting me uneed to do this exam and the 'markers'.  

I am thinking treatment will start Dec 5.  


Thank you all all so much.


Hi again DeeDee :-)

Just to say we are all here for you and waiting to hear anything and everything you want to share with us. Sorry to hear you have such extreme pain levels. Really hoping this begins to reduce quickly once treatment begins.

Be lucky :-)

Have the doctors any idea why your exams are so painful?  Have you got a treatment plan yet? I read on another of your posts that you are going to the Moffit Cancer center.  Are you in Florida? If so, I'm in the US too and have been very impressed with the medical treatment I've received, so I'm sure you'll be in good hands.

Keep us posted.

love t xx

Teresa - at this point they have no idea why my exams are so painful.  The urologist wondered if the tumor is pushing on or has a nerve intertwined.  They all look at me like I am crazy.  


I am in the US, but in Grand Rapids, MI - the MidWest.  I will be at the Lemmen Holton Cancer Center.  I don't have any 'plan' in writing yet, just the overview and what feels like 50 appointments before I get to treatment.  I realize it is my fault that I refused treatment in April, but redoing all these tests, plus more is weighing on me.


Tivoli - thank you for your support.  You give me hope.


3-31-2106 - heavy bleeding went to ER

4-2016 - diagnosed with cervical cancer - stage 4 - no organs affected, one lymph node involved

5-2016 - I refused treatment - more afraid of the treatmebt than the cancer

9-2016 - I was sick the entire month - vomiting and diarrhea, kept nothing down - thinking it was related to the cancer I told my family I would do treatment.  I was more afraid of the cancer than the treatment at this point The sickness ended up being an intestinal bug.  I had already started all the retests, tumor has grown, but does not appear to have spread.


:-) You have everything to hope for! :-)

be lucky :-)